Age differences in relationships

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Deinonychus
Deinonychus

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Joined: 28 Nov 2010
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 332

24 Feb 2011, 11:24 am

I'm sure this has been discussed before, but I thought I'd discuss a pattern I noticed in my own life. When I was in college, I tried dating, with limited success. I dated a few girls casually, but nothing really ever came of it. I noticed when I was doing this that the girls who I found most attractive personality wise were somewhat older, like 23-30 (I was 20-24 at the time). I was completely frustrated that in most of these girls profiles, the preferred age was their age or older and they wouldn't go out with a younger guy, or would put one or two years younger at the most. I also noticed the girls interested in me tended to be younger, like 17-20. I found this incredibly frustrating because I really was just not attracted to immature teenager girls.

Women have, on average, longer life spans than men, so it would make more logical sense for them to date younger men, but I still find, since I've started on OKCupid again, that most girls don't date men more than 2 years younger than they are, but will date men up to 10 years older. Of the girls that have contacted me first, the oldest is 28 with 25 being the most common age, and there are about 10 or so of these total that have contacted me first. I have managed to get one 34 year old to respond to my messages, but later found out her personality is just not compatible with me as more than a friend. The youngest girl I've talked to and seems the most interested just turned 22.

I'm just wondering if anyone else has experienced this pattern. I'm actually having a much better time finding girls to talk to now despite having only a part time job and living in my parents' house, and really very little has changed other than my age. Part of it is probably that I'm looking for girls with no children, and the older they get, the more likely they have kids. I wonder if there's some biological factor at work. It's true in other social mammal societies, the older, more experienced males often monopolize the attention of the females. In gorillas, the older males with gray hair, the silverbacks, are generally the dominant males. In lions, the older males that are stronger and more experienced fighters dominate. I would not be surprised if there is some biological factor at work that causes women to automatically see men older than themselves as more attractive, or to favor older males over younger to a certain point. It also could be an issue of emotional maturity, as women tend to be more emotionally mature than men. It also could be a cultural thing where I live. The South has many quirks and among them is the traditional man is the provider types that want a man to pay the bills while they do the housewife thing (personally I try to avoid these, but there's only so much one can do). Anyways, just thought I'd see what people's opinions here are.


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