I just can't relate to people. I just can't.

Page 1 of 2 [ 19 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

Moog
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Feb 2010
Age: 45
Gender: Male
Posts: 17,671
Location: Untied Kingdom

26 Feb 2011, 5:55 am

pensieve wrote:
right now you sound like a vain guy who is stereotyping women and even online I'm getting turned off.


Me too.


_________________
Not currently a moderator


stargazing
Raven
Raven

User avatar

Joined: 5 Feb 2011
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Posts: 101
Location: Pennsylvania, US

26 Feb 2011, 12:04 pm

It's sounding more and more to me like you have a somewhat resentful attitude towards women. I understand all too well how it feels and how easily that can happen, as I basically spent my entire four years of college that way. Always remember that women (NT women, at least) sense that sort of thing immediately. Also keep in mind that people generally conform to our unconscious expectations due to the way our attitudes make us act. Ever notice that you are always the best version of yourself around people who you know or believe like and accept you? It works the other way, too. If you approach a girl expecting that she is probably a shallow idiot and will ultimately not like you, it doesn't matter what you say out loud to her. It is really hard even for NTs to grasp just how powerfully the nonverbal consequences of peoples' inner attitudes impact what happens to them, let alone those of us with nonverbal impairment. Self-fulfilling prophecies are very real!

Again I ask you, are you currently getting any kind professional help or guidance? It sounds to me like you stand to benefit a lot from a good therapist and/or psychiatrist. I am very concerned about the things you have said about killing yourself. If what you said is true about your ability to converse and be charming and everything, you can't possibly be beyond help. Please, take care of yourself and look into some professional options if you aren't already!



Grisha
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Oct 2009
Age: 57
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,336
Location: LA-ish

26 Feb 2011, 2:15 pm

Quote:
I guess I don't make enough money, that's the only thing I can think of. It is very sad but women nowadays are looking hard for the dollar $igns. Just my opinion.


Money hasn't done much for me, I'm not super-wealthy, but I've gotten to the point where I can say "Why don't we spend the weekend in Paris?" and go get on a plane with business class tickets.

It's real easy to fall into the "checklist" mentality: all you need to do is accomplish a list of things and women will suddenly start giving you the time of day.

Those things don't hurt, but none of them are the "real" problem, and even at my age I don't have the slightest idea what it is.

Personally, I'm trying to learn to be single. It's kind of scary because you get these visions of dying alone as some crazy old man, but actually it's not that bad...



ntgrl
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 22 Sep 2009
Age: 51
Gender: Female
Posts: 155

26 Feb 2011, 2:46 pm

I have mentioned in another post that I have a co-worker on the autistic spectrum. I find that I have stopped asking her to go to lunch because sometimes she gets very upset when she is asked to do things and she is in the mind set that she wants to be alone or I think is feelings stressed about how many errands she needs to run. However, then it appears that she feels left out when we do not ask her and she feels excluded.

Is is possible that your friends wait for you to ask them to do things, because they are unsure when you want to be social and when you do not and it is just easier for them to let you call them when you want to?

You have not really mentioned what type of romantic relationship you are looking for. Are you interested in finding a serious girlfriend or casual dating?