Darn it - women flirt with me and don't even see it!

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AspieGenius
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01 Mar 2011, 5:07 am

Am I the only Aspie Male that is clueless in picking up on female flirting?

Having lunch with a female friend, she laughed at me, for not realizing that 2 women had been trying to flirt with me, and I had no idea?

Can SOMEBODY please give me an Aspie guide to understanding when I am being hit on?

Thks,
AspieGenius :roll:



Tias
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01 Mar 2011, 5:43 am

Whenever a girl flirts with me it's really obvious to me cause it creates a kind of awkward mood in me if it's not something mutually.



keira
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01 Mar 2011, 7:52 am

Well I'm a girl but unless it's the obvious "Hi may I buy you a drink" thing I never know when someone is hitting on me :oops: Usually I think people are just being nice to me until it's too late and I get blamed for leading someone on :roll: So if there's any guide available I would be so grateful :D



AspieGenius
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01 Mar 2011, 9:11 am

Keira, I feel you! I always seem to get into trouble with this.

I told my female friend about an episode at a gas station, where the girl working there, without me initiating, began telling me all sorts of personal stuff, like what she was doing this weekend and about her son visiting his father this weekend, and I stood there and thought, why is she telling me this? She is quite attractive, and I would love to take her out, but I have no clue if she is being talkative or flirting with me? My female friend said that is was a no brainer and that she was hitting on me, but.....

I am an open and forthcoming person (like many other AS') and I simply don't understand the signals I myself is sending, nor the signals that women sends me.

Hope someone has or can make a simple guide :-)

AspieGenius



RightGalaxy
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01 Mar 2011, 10:19 am

Watch out because NT women especially do crazy things. Some will hit on you ONLY when you have a date because they are intimidated by couples. Now, what the F**K is that?! It's competition with the other woman. If you get hit on when you are totally alone, well, then that is true interest. Women play really wicked games with each other using men as the pawns...it's all about dominance.



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01 Mar 2011, 10:52 am

Image

Me too.



TheWeirdPig
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01 Mar 2011, 11:53 am

Do you think there is something like the flirt and ditch? She flirts to get your attention and then denies it when you give her more attention than she wants?



emlion
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01 Mar 2011, 11:56 am

i think there is.
my friend does it all the time, it really annoys me.
she'll flirt with a guy and then when he's starting to actually becoming interested she brushes him off.
confusing.



TheWeirdPig
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01 Mar 2011, 12:13 pm

emlion wrote:
i think there is.
my friend does it all the time, it really annoys me.
she'll flirt with a guy and then when he's starting to actually becoming interested she brushes him off.
confusing.


I'm glad I'm not the only one who sees this. And thanks for sticking up for us "flirtees".



Zur-Darkstar
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01 Mar 2011, 12:14 pm

Yes, if I'm in a casual situation like shopping or eating at a restaurant or working or w/e, and I don't expect to be looking for women, it's almost impossible for me to pick up on it in time to react. It was terribly embarrassing as a teenager walking around shopping or eating at a restaurant and having my MOTHER tell me "oh that girl was trying to flirt with you". I usually lied and said I knew that but wasn't interested in dating. It was true that I wasn't interested in dating as a teenager (too much work and I didn't get along with teenagers).

Sometimes I do realize when a girl is trying to flirt, but when I do it's several minutes, hours, or days later. Obviously, this is not notably helpful except as a way to learn what people do to flirt. Perhaps as a result, I can pick up on flirtation in one on one conversation if I'm on a date or in some situation where I'm expecting it. It's rather like I know what to look for, but I have to tell my brain to anticipate and look for it, or it won't register. My normal mode of thinking is that I basically screen out everything that's not directly relevant to what I'm doing at that moment. I have to work somewhat to maintain awareness, or be so interested in a person that they actually command my complete focus.


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emlion
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01 Mar 2011, 12:17 pm

TheWeirdPig wrote:
emlion wrote:
i think there is.
my friend does it all the time, it really annoys me.
she'll flirt with a guy and then when he's starting to actually becoming interested she brushes him off.
confusing.


I'm glad I'm not the only one who sees this. And thanks for sticking up for us "flirtees".


i just don't see the point- surely the whole reason for flirting is the attention?
i guess it's a powerplay thing. :shrug:



Tias
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01 Mar 2011, 12:41 pm

emlion wrote:
i think there is.
my friend does it all the time, it really annoys me.
she'll flirt with a guy and then when he's starting to actually becoming interested she brushes him off.
confusing.


And the funny thing is, if i had a friend like that i'd cut ties with them.
I hate people who are morally like that.
but ah, so off topic



emlion
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01 Mar 2011, 12:43 pm

i tell her i don't like it, but she's lovely in every other way.
so we don't really go to clubs together anymore because it pisses me off. >.<
i gotta keep all the friends i can get. :lol:



Jono
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01 Mar 2011, 5:43 pm

AspieGenius wrote:
Am I the only Aspie Male that is clueless in picking up on female flirting?

Having lunch with a female friend, she laughed at me, for not realizing that 2 women had been trying to flirt with me, and I had no idea?

Can SOMEBODY please give me an Aspie guide to understanding when I am being hit on?

Thks,
AspieGenius :roll:


That sounds common for aspie guys.



The_Face_of_Boo
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01 Mar 2011, 5:47 pm

NT girls are not always right.

Do not take every thing they say about other girls as 'the absolute truth' or the '100% true', there's no guarantees.



Xeno
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01 Mar 2011, 5:52 pm

TheWeirdPig wrote:
Do you think there is something like the flirt and ditch? She flirts to get your attention and then denies it when you give her more attention than she wants?


I have zero respect for teases like that. The next time one does that to me I think I'll ask one of my rollergirl friends to go beat her to a pulp. :evil: :twisted: