Shame

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A man walks into a business establishment, browses, picks out a publication, takes it up to the desk.

He is filled with embarrassment. He can't even look the clerk in the eye. He desperately hopes nobody he knows will see him with this material.

Once the transaction is complete, he sticks the thing in his briefcase and leaves, still watching out for people who might know him. He won't feel safe till he drives away.

So what is this? Pornographic filth? Revolutionary propaganda? Harlequin Romance? How bad could it be?

I went to the library today to pick up a book my wife had ordered. We live in a politically mixed town, half fairly conservative older hicks, half younger liberal overflow from the city. We are exiles, personae non gratae in the city, fitting into neither set.

The book? GWBush's memoir. Even though we do not buy into PC values, the thoughtwaves of public opinion are so strong I can't feel comfortable if people see me with it.

How disgusting is that?

Your shame?

With direct response to GWB's memoirs, I'd hope a little considering that his book was ghostwritten and is more public relations than fact. I could understand it as far as wanting to see the narrative that he and his entourage are looking to create but I wouldn't look to it for much fact. At best, he may believe some things but are a misrepresentation thanks to his minimal involvement in his presidency.

Library book,. requested by my wife who is more into politics at present, out of curiosity as to content.

Strictly nothing to do with me - and she in fact says she would have had no embarrassment about picking it up.

But I am very sensitive about stirring up vibes. Professionazlly I would write anything, but around the department keep my mouth shut. Don't talk where I am a heretic, don't chime in where I agree. Times I have NOT lain low I have gotten in sore trouble.

Fact is, if people know you are not shipping pizzas to Wisconsin they think you are into Teapartheid.

I do not want either Joe Cool or Maddy Teaparty thinking I am a tea party type. I also do not want them thinking I am among the Anointed. In fact, I would rather they did not think about me or notice me, and I try not to do things like borrowing the Bush book that might GET me noticed.

Hey, look, mon, in the days from which I date it was Playboy as to a degree Esquire. Hustler was not even a gleam in a flinty eye and as for the internet - that COULD be something used in the cod fisheries.

Anyway, I happen to like Spam.

AND Kraft Dinner.

And the original Reader's Digest - forget today's - had a lot to recommend it.

Go on, despise me.

I will resist despising you back.

Sometimes I can go there. Sometimes my wife can't, though we do not actually take turns.

It is really another case oif the flesh versus spirit. My adrenalin is not housebroken.

Grace is. Grace comes.

I just last night threw this one at a coworker standing in the need of prayer:

One of the Desert Fathers - I love those guys - Abba Sisoes said,"Have confidence. For thirty years I have not prayed to God about my faults, but I have made this prayer to him: 'Lord Jesus, save me from my tongue.' And until now every day I fall because of and commit sin."

Like Paul and the thorn, of course. Here is the guy, 30 years praying for something -- something GOOD - fruitlessly and he uses it to illustrate "have confidence."! !!

Just wanna throw out there that Shameless is an awesome TV show.