Gender identity issues and being an aspie

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alexi
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05 Mar 2011, 5:59 am

I am planning to have "the talk" with my therapist about my gender identity issues. I am looking for any references or your opinions on why (and if) this is fairly common amongst Aspies, especially FTM.

Any ideas at all would be greatly appreciated. I just feel like I want something to help me (and my therapist) work with the two issues together.



britagious147
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05 Mar 2011, 12:14 pm

I'm a very "butch" aspie lesbian. I considered FTM reassignment, but found that learning the reasons behind what makes me so is fulfilling in itself. Learning about how our genes have inclined us to be FTM, the role of hormone ratios and even non biological psychological aspects explains so much.
None of this makes it any easier looking, sounding, and acting like a male on top of aspie issues, but it is comforting, to me anyways.
I hope your CBT can be of help. Best wishes to you friend.



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05 Mar 2011, 3:03 pm

What exactly is it you want ideas on? Is there somethign in particular that you're worried about - how to explain it/how he'll react/what he'll ask etc?

I am also FTM and recently told my psych and my social worker. DEFINITELY glad I did. Good look, whatever you decide to do

I did once tell another psych about it a couple years ago though, and wasn't really comfortable with that - she ddin't seeem to understand. So I guess a lot of it depends on what your therapist is like



visagrunt
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07 Mar 2011, 11:35 am

alexi wrote:
I am planning to have "the talk" with my therapist about my gender identity issues. I am looking for any references or your opinions on why (and if) this is fairly common amongst Aspies, especially FTM.

Any ideas at all would be greatly appreciated. I just feel like I want something to help me (and my therapist) work with the two issues together.


I can't speak specifically to the work that you and your therapist will do, but I can speak to my experience as a physician, and the relationship that I try to establish with patients.

First and foremost, I would say, it does not matter whether or not gender identity issues are fairly common among Aspies are not. What matters is that you have concerns about your gender identity and you are an Aspie. You might the only one in the world (although clearly you are not) and it would still be incumbent on your therapist to help you work through these concerns.

But stepping back to the broader question, I seen a strong intuitive link suggesting that people on the spectrum will be more likely to present gender identity concerns. I do not know if this has been demonstrated in any clinical setting, but if you have a therapist who is familiar with patients on the spectrum and with gender identity concerns, your therapist may have some much clearer ideads about the validity of this hypothesis.


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tomboywriter101
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07 Mar 2011, 8:56 pm

I don't have AS, I have HFA (High Functioning Autism). I'm also thinking about gender identity. Try not to think about rigid gender so much. If you think rigidly, as in This is a boy, This is a girl, No in-betweens, you'll find that you're focusing on categorizing yourself. Try thinking of gender as a broad spectrum, that way you're free to be any percentage of either category or none of either rather than specific generalizations (no oxymoron intended). If you think I'm not "Boy", I'm not "Girl", I am just Me, you may not worry about What-am-I so much. Some like these categories because they like the feeling of belonging, so this free spectrum may not work for you. I don't know you on a personal level, so I can't make these decisions for you.


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Rhodry
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31 May 2013, 10:21 am

You look in the mirror. Do you see yourself has everybody see you. Or do they see you of how you look! Has everybody have the same problem. Or do like do they see! Do they see you as boy! And you see yourself as a girl! Do you look androgynous that means that you could look like a girl. Or girl looks like a boy! Do you dress androgynously that your a boy dress in girls clothes and look almost like a girl. A girl can dress like a boy in today. But society still haves problems boy dresses like a girl! And problem still there! WHY! I think it still to one sided. Am I any better! I hope so!



Jinks
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31 May 2013, 1:53 pm

I am also FTM. There have been numerous studies over the last few years showing a high correlation between autism and transgenderism - actually when I visited my gender specialist last year, I noticed a poster on his wall about it, and if I recall correctly it stated the figure of co-incidence was around 20 times higher than would be expected by chance. There is clearly some relationship between them (both seem to be affected to some degree by pre-natal hormone levels, for example). If you're interested in seeing some of the studies I could probably dig out a couple of links for you.

The advice in thsi thread is sound, however, though I transitioned years before discovering I had AS, if it had been the other way around I would have been concerned that an autistic person talking about transgender feelings could be taken less seriously than someone without any prior mental health diagnoses, as it might be assumed to relate to a current obsession or special interest, incorrect conclusions about not fitting in with peers, the black and white thinking autistic people tend to have, etc. So explaining to the therapist that the two seem to be linked may be more helpful than it would first appear.

As for working on the two things together - while they may be related in terms of cause, they tend to involve separate issues, though perhaps as an aspie help with the social dilemmas specific to being a trans person (explaining your situation to others, recognising and learning male-appropriate non-verbal language, etc) would be useful, as you're likely to find those things even more difficult to navigate than a NT trans person.



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01 Jun 2013, 4:34 pm

My other half is FTM and suspected AS, I'm MTF and AS, gotta love it. It is common. :wink:

There's a study on it by Kat Stork-Brett which I'm eagerly awaiting the results from.


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diablo77
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12 Jul 2013, 2:00 pm

I had a therapist tell me once that there was a possible connection, though nobody's figured out what yet. There's correlation but no proven causation. I have known two other trans people who were also on the spectrum, although they were both MTF and I'm FTM, but considering that both the number of trans people I know and the number of autistic people I know are fairly small, it's interesting to note that I've come across even that many.



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12 Jul 2013, 5:51 pm

I'm MTF w/ AS. It was my therapist that specializes in gender that diagnosed me with AS. I know of one other MTF w/ AS, and several others both MTF & FTM with other DX.

I haven't heard of any numbers except for one person said that Denmark's National Health Care had found a correlation that 6% of their Transgender patients had AS. I tried researching to see if that was true, but I haven't found any corroborating data. I doubt that this is true but I don't have access to med/research journals so there could be a lot of data and I and others have no idea.



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13 Jul 2013, 12:38 am

I've had gender issues my entire life and I'm also an Aspie. If I had the money, I'd transfer from FTM without any hesitation at all. I look very masculine and my body language is also the same way as well. I hope that the world of the future will have no more of the Gender Binary. I have great hopes that people will be left alone to do whatever they wish, instead of being ordered around and categorized by the Gender Police.


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RageHQ
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13 Jul 2013, 6:22 am

I'm FTM (pre-op, pre-hrt). It took me a long time to come out, and I'm still easing into it. I'm not fully diagnosed AS, but I have traits intermixed with other 'issues'. I had mentioned being transgender before to a counselor I had. Before long, I switched to a therapist who specializes in that area, as I wasn't too attached to the other one. It was a good choice. It isn't a good idea to let things sit too long, and you want honesty. Whether or not you are FTM and AS, they are only a fraction of who you are. You know the saying, gender is in your mind, not your body. We're hardwired this way, even if they are or aren't related, ne?


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AinsleyHarte
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14 Jul 2013, 4:26 pm

I've only recently come to terms with the idea of me being trans in some way. I definitely do not like being seen as female (I loathe being called a 'lesbian' and refer to myself as gay,) but I don't think I'd be any happier living as a male either. My whole life has been a lot of questions and no answers that 'fit' my experience. After a lot of internal debate, I am hovering around the notion of neutrois/agender, though I haven't decided if what I experience is a lack of gender or a neutral gender.

As these are fairly new concepts for me, I am not at the point of wanting to share with my friends/family, but I am in the same boat as you, OP, in a way. I've had gender dysphoria all of my life, much to the dismay of my mother. She still reminds me how "pretty of a girl" I am, and it makes me sick every time. I don't think she can cope with the idea that I am not the daughter she wanted; long hair, floral-print dresses, big floppy sun hats, etc. I've yet to figure out how to talk to her about this. She is hesitant to accept my being on the Spectrum now that I've been officially diagnosed, and even though I casually brought up gender dysphoria and AS with her yesterday, she reverted back to "such a pretty girl" mode, and I gave up. I'm glad that I learned about the seeming connection between the two, because it made me feel much more comfortable/at ease with myself in accepting that I'm non-binary trans.

I'm rambling, and I really don't have any advice for you, but I hope that your parents and therapist are understanding and supportive.


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kittylover
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16 Jul 2013, 5:31 am

It's so weird how Asperger's Syndrome is associated with both MTF and FTM gender identity problems

Most transgender people I know seem to have a Spectrum disorder, but that sounds like a product of selection bias. After all, I know a lot of non-transgender people who also seem to be on the Spectrum. Hanging around nerds tends to do that. =)