Unfair or not?

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Is thier a good reason why soceity cannot bend or be more flexible to people with aspergers or autisim in certain areas of life?

In what areas of life?

Dating, Jobs and Education etc.......

Be yourself, don't conform.

Education: I've found that college/University is great for those on the spectrum. The elementary & secondary levels could use some improvement.

Jobs: We can gain the technical/academic skills one needs for jobs but I feel the interview process is not the best thing for us, unless their are extenuating circumstances. At the end of the day, the SKILLS for the job should matter MORE than the applicant's people skills (unless you are applying for a people-oriented job, THAN they DO matter).

Dating: You can't change what people expect in relationships, so I've got no ideas here (especially since I AVOID dating/relationships).

I guess you could argue that jobs and eduction have nothing in common with dating

Well, in regard to education, society is rather flexible with autistic students. Not to everyone's satisfaction, of course, but much more so than in the past.

Jobs and dating are ruled by more "natural selection" type dynamics.

Be yourself. Who cares what other people think?

Life is unfair for all of us, Nonspectrum and spectrum alike. It is more unfair to those of us who have such trouble catching social signals. But it is the way life is, and grumbling won't help. Once I realized that nonspectrum can't help being irritated by me and that I can't help irritating people I've gotten more accepting of my place in life.

Yes, you could. They really don't have anything to do with each other beyond involving other people. Jobs and education are governed by laws (varying from country to country). Dating is governed by free choice of individuals. You can fight to change laws that govern education and jobs. In the U.S., two such fights have led to the IDEA law (mandating least restrictive setting for education) and the ADA (Americans With Disabilities Act) which governs the rights at work of people with disabilities. However, dating is not governed by laws, nor should it be. There is no such thing as "fair" in dating. There is only two people deciding whether or not they want to spend time together. If one person doesn't want to, that's the end of that, as it should be.

Do you think dating has more in common with friendships?

The only thing fair in life is that life is equally unfair to us all.

Yes. They are very similar. They are people deciding if they would like to spend time together.

Education and jobs throw people together who don't necessarily want to be anywhere near each other but must be so that a goal can be accomplished.

In dating and friendships there is only spending time together and it is by choice. If there is a goal, it is only to spend even more time together- marriage, in the case of (some) dating. So unlike jobs and education, friendship and dating only brings together people who want to be with each other.

To succeed in education or a job, you have to accomplish the task: learning in school and doing the work in a job. But in friendship and dating, you have to convince people that they will enjoy spending time with you.


(Caveat- I know that there is one heck of a lot more involved at work and there is a strong element of winning people over, but it's an undercurrent, not the goal, so I didn't go into it)

Yes. A reason. Not an excuse though.

Society in general knows very little, and understands even less about Autism. The vast majority of them have never heard of Asperger's.

It's virtually impossible to be fair with regard to anything you don't know much if anything about.

I find dating unappealing b/c I think of it as an excuse to expand a friendship into spending money on each other + touching each other inappropriately

Having Aspergers isn't like having A CABBAGE FOR A HEAD!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rwoUcYKUanM[/youtube]