Theory: AS lack of street-smarts due to lack of options

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11 Mar 2011, 3:31 pm

I disagree and I wrote about this somewhere else on the forum the other day.
I tend to sometimes look for people that I can identify with and that basically means everyone who stands out and unfortunately, in that crowd of people, are very often also those who may see my naive ways as tempting and something they can use.I think those ones out there who are real bad apples may sometimes have like a radar for people who tend to be too trusting and no, I usually dont see it until they have already run me over like a bulldozer..
I may excuse some odd behaviour and relate to some because some of mine is odd and because of that, the fact that I indentify myself with them on some level, make it harder for me to see that they dont have my best in mind.
However, MOST neurotypical people I dont have a "problem" with, they just usually arent interesting to me, Im not to them and we dont have much to talk about or atleast we dont communicate the same way, but most of them are harmless.
Put me in the same room as someone narssisistic, antosocial, borderline or histrionic or someone who has traits that resemble those of cluster B and I wont see it until its too late,
and they on the other hand, might spot me immediately.That can be dangerous to me and I may interpret their interest (when overly interested ) as just a bit socially awkward, when it in fact is because they have entirely other plans in mind, knowingly or not.

There have also been other situations, with men for instance, when I thought of someone as just friendly, when in fact they had in mind other things than just being my friend, and in situations where I was not inerested in anything than being their friend, I would still talk to them as a friend, because I couldnt figure out why I shouldnt, only to later realise that wow, he must have thought that he was completely successful in his first attempts of the game, trying to get physical, but since I wasnt interested, the outcome would still be of a negative one for them, but it makes me wonder, how I would have interpreted the situation, had I been interested.
When someone is a "bit too much" I may react if it scares me and I dont fully like the person, but would it still have the same outcome if I liked them? Probably not.

Its a painful way of learning, or rather, not learning as some things still completely pass me by.



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11 Mar 2011, 5:26 pm

daspie wrote:
Chickenbird wrote:
I totally agree, I think you nailed it.

Hubby was always saying to me

1. I hate/d your friends, they are so creepy
2. You are lonely because you are too fussy

Cognitive dissonance, anyone?

Are you agreeing with my post or the OP.


Sorry, edited to show it was the OP.
Directness *rocks* :)


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11 Mar 2011, 11:33 pm

I'm generally distrustful of those around me. I don't have many friends because not many people that I know are smart enough to comprehend my interests.


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anbuend
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12 Mar 2011, 12:01 am

I can often spot untrustworthy people (not always by a long shot, but when I notice, boy do I notice). My problem isn't that I'd take companionship for them over aloneness (I totally wouldn't in a million years), but that due to training I have received, I feel compelled to be "polite" to them and "give them a chance" to walk all over me before I decide they're actually doing it. I'm getting better at listening to my gut. (But as I said in another thread, my gut has been described by others as far more finely-tuned than most people's.) When it tells me something very clearly, it is rarely wrong, and I've noticed that it's especially correct about danger signals in others (when it notices them at all, which isn't always).


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12 Mar 2011, 12:37 am

anbuend wrote:
I feel compelled to be "polite" to them and "give them a chance" to walk all over me before I decide they're actually doing it.


I have this problem a lot. This is what happened with that group I wrote about wrt "pretending to be nice". I've cut off all contact at this point, but I gave them so many chances to run roughshod over my boundaries and try to convince me to play along with their manipulative games.

I should have learned better by now.



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12 Mar 2011, 3:46 am

Mar1976 wrote:
I also don't create options[/b]


how does one create options? how does one create anything out of thin air?



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12 Mar 2011, 4:35 am

auntblabby wrote:
Mar1976 wrote:
I also don't create options[/b]


how does one create options? how does one create anything out of thin air?


Creó ex nihilo.



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12 Mar 2011, 4:49 am

Verdandi wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
Mar1976 wrote:
I also don't create options[/b]


how does one create options? how does one create anything out of thin air?


Creó ex nihilo.


Creó sententiam ex nihilo? Tamen quam does unus operor is, ut suscipio per?



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12 Mar 2011, 4:57 am

auntblabby wrote:
Verdandi wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
Mar1976 wrote:
I also don't create options[/b]


how does one create options? how does one create anything out of thin air?


Creó ex nihilo.


Creó sententiam ex nihilo? Tamen quam does unus operor is, ut suscipio per?


Propono ab initio implens in medio, dando bonum finem.

The above is probably wrong. Blame google. :?



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12 Mar 2011, 5:09 am

Verdandi wrote:
Propono ab initio implens in medio, dando bonum finem.

The above is probably wrong. Blame google. :?


translated somewhat imperfectly, you said "Display counting from beginning content upon to heal dando good territory." running this again through the same translator, yields the following:
"Propono a orsa impleo super sano dando bonus tractus"; which when re-translated back into english, results in-
"Display a beginning content over, upon to heal dando good a dragging."

now please tell me what you originally said in english, "si vos commodo, per mellis in is, meus amicus?"



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12 Mar 2011, 5:18 am

"I suggest starting from the beginning, filling in the middle, and giving it a good finish." I should have tried for an actual latin sentence structure.



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12 Mar 2011, 5:22 am

Verdandi wrote:
"I suggest starting from the beginning, filling in the middle, and giving it a good finish." I should have tried for an actual latin sentence structure.


gosh, my cat knows more latin than i do :oops:
anyways, but what if a person has nothing with which to begin with, nor anything to fill the middle or cap the end? just wondering...



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12 Mar 2011, 6:08 am

auntblabby wrote:
Verdandi wrote:
"I suggest starting from the beginning, filling in the middle, and giving it a good finish." I should have tried for an actual latin sentence structure.


gosh, my cat knows more latin than i do :oops:
anyways, but what if a person has nothing with which to begin with, nor anything to fill the middle or cap the end? just wondering...


When I find myself in that situation I don't post anything.



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12 Mar 2011, 8:48 am

Verdandi wrote:
When I find myself in that situation I don't post anything.


and that is why a hermit becomes a hermit. and why do many hermits converse with themselves? probably for the same reason that the caged bird still sings.



tskin1
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12 Mar 2011, 9:14 am

Quote:
NT's don't have to suffer to earn street smarts. We do.


Believe it or not some of us NT people also get screwed, also get used, also deal with people who are fake or who appear to be somthing they aren't.. while it is true that most of us probably have more people to choose from it doesn't mean we're immune to suffering or that the ignorant among us dont seek us out only to destroy our spirit as well.

I think to a certain degree at least for the average NT it has to do with extravert/intravert personality as far as how many we have to choose from.

I do as one poster put look out for the underdog, constantly run into the worst of people who on the outside seem to be fantastic.. I also get stabbed in the back.. I also form great friendships only to find out that this person isn't worth the time spent...it is possible that your running into simply the "wrong people" as am I??.

cooincidentally i wasn't offended by your post but I do think it's unfortunate that all NT people are lumped into one group who apparently are fantastically social, street smart and happy.. it just isn't the case.