Asperger's, Anxiety Disorder, and ADHD

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Thank you aurea!

I am beginning to accept that there are no "answers", but every experience and idea helps.. even if it's just reaffirming that I'm not the only mom in the world struggling with this.
I am currently reading one of the books recommended to me (written by one of the members here) and finding it to be one revelation after another. (Also find myself evaluating some of my own quirks and issues....... perhaps that's normal... but I find myself thinking "s**t, I do that..... crap... that's me too!" hmmmmmm?)

One thing that I'm wondering is.... well, I've been concentrating on trying to get him to memorize his multiplication tables... (He can multiply with a calculator and with a times tables chart)(I'm not quite ready to give up trying to teach him without a tool... I feel like I just need to find out HOW to teach him)... but I'm thinking that I'm going about this all wrong. Basically, I'm asking him to memorize all these problems and figures with no logical rhyme or reason to him.

He does need to learn his count-bys... It makes sense to me that if he can memorize the 2's, 5's, and 10's... with effort, he should be able to do the inbetweens.. it's just harder... maybe....?
As for multiplication, maybe I can get him to memorize the steps... not a gazillion different problems, but one set of steps that will allow him to figure out any problem once he knows his count-bys.
If the problem is 6 x 5 = ?
1.) What is my easiest count-by number?___ (because he has a hard time understanding you don't have to go 6, 12, 18, 24, 30)
2.) How many groupings do I use? ____
3.) Count-by ___ to ____ places.
4.) That is the answer...

Or something like that....
It's worth a try at least.

Ok... I'm thinking out loud now.

Most of the stress with AS comes from unknowns... right? evaluating all the possible outcomes, not being able to sift out the un-needed info, or trying to fill in un-needed but questionable info. Right?

So on the multiplication line of thought.... Math was always hard for me as a kid because I had a hard time relating it to anything pertinent.

So... I was thinking 1) reduce the unknowns ..... 2) make it relate-able.

What if I create a story problem that Ben can relate to with minimal random questionables, that he can just plug his multiplication questions into?

Something like:

"We're going to play a card game." (I picked cards because he knows that there are various games with various cards dealt out.) (I picked a game because games have rules that have to be followed.)

So...
"We're going to play a card game.
You need to deal out ___ cards to each player.
There are ___ players.
How many cards are dealt?"

Then add my solving rules from my above post.... or a variation of them.
Though with this structure it doesn't allow for alternating to the easier count-by.
Maybe this is too structured? Is that possible...? Ahhh crap... I thought I had a good idea... now I don't know..... *sigh*

How about, when he comes home from school, you do no maths? Give him time to process the school day. I know this is hard to do. He may need extra processing time, you may even be confusing him with a different teaching method. Please don't take this the wrong way, I to have had to stop trying to help my son with this stuff. My son even put a maths sum to me one day in the car, he also told me the right answer, (YAY) then when I tried to give him another sum along the same lines as the one he came up with, he yelled at me "You are confusing me, now nothing makes sense!" I felt like cr@p.
I will now give him some achievable incidental maths questions, eg we are out shopping I give him $2, he see's something he wants for $1.50 I ask him how many can you buy? How much change will you get back? If you wanted 2 how much extra money would you need?

Another example, there are 3 of us in this family and there are 6 donuts in the pack. How many donuts can each person have?

I know these are very simple examples, but I need my son to experience lots of maths success
before he can get over his maths fears.

Make sense?

Something to keep in mind about our kids and math - my son shows signs of giftedness in math as he seems to inherently understand complex mathematical concepts far beyond his years, which no on has ever taught him. But once he started math in elementary school, he started to shut down and meltdown over basic math functions like addition and subtraction etc.

I asked a question about this in a gifted kids yahoo forum and a math professor explained to me that this is common for aspies (as compared to the general population) - because elementary school math is not really math at all. Its arithmetic, and it actually uses a completely different part of the brain than Mathematics. Mathematics is much more complex, so many people think if their kids can't handle arithmetic, they won't be good at math, but for some kids they are essentially disabled in one, and gifted in the other, simultaneously.

Not saying this applies to your son, just saying it's something for everyone to keep in mind.

I totally get what you are both saying.

As for doing nothing after school. He gets unwind time directly after school. At least a half hour, sometimes an hour- based on whatever might be going on that day... or the weather. I never go beyond that because 1) he will expect it every day. 2) later in the evening he is too tired to focus at all... and then it becomes a huge fight. Regardless of whether or not we do "extra" studying... he has to do his homework.

Also, I tried to not do extra, but only did math homework when it was assigned... and the result is that every week he seems to have lost more of what he understood before. As for too many methods, I think that's what screwed him up in the first place... The school taught 7 different methods for doing simple one digit addition.. He was overwhelmed... at this point I haven't added any new methods, only tried to explain how the ones he's been taught relate to each other.

Accepting that maybe he just can't memorize, I'm trying to see if I can provide a tool for him to work it out.

Actually Caitlin that kind of makes sense. Confusing at the same time though.

Last year one of my sons teachers expressed her frustration to me, saying things like "he just keeps distracting himself" etc etc, she also said "I know he can do this because he understands the more complex abstract maths we have barely touched on" She said "he chooses not to do basic stuff". Hmmmm frustrating. He doesn't choose not to do this stuff and then get stressed!! !!

My son also becomes overwhelmed by the many ways they teach one concept - it is good that they offer all these ways because it accommodates multiple learning styles, but in so doing they need to recognize that this means not all learners will be OK with every method. Once a child demonstrates mastery of the concept using one way of learning, they should be allowed to move on. I have found that most teachers do not grasp this, and keep insisting a child shows they understand the concept by demonstrating it in multiple ways. The problem with doing this to AS kids is that it causes immense frustration, resulting in loss of confidence and resentment for the process of learning in the first place. It is worth getting this kind of accommodation written into an IEP.

This primarily came up when Ben was in the 1st and 2nd grade and learning addition and subtraction. I could tell that Ben got so worked up over "which strategy do I use", that he was never really able to focus on actually using the processes. The only way I knew that this was the problem was because I volunteered in his class during math. I tried to discuss this with the teacher and she said there was really nothing she could do as that was how the district decided it should be taught.

We've only had an IEP since last June and we are currently trying to get one scheduled for April. I will make a note to discuss this accommodation with the team.

That's why I was hoping I could come up with one basic principle that he could apply multiplication to. Once I can figure out something that makes sense to him, I was hoping to get it approved for him to have a sort of "formula" cheat card with possibly a small white board to work it out on. He can work it out.. he just can't do it mentally or from memory.

aurea, I feel like I got defensive, despite your "Please don't take this the wrong way", I probably did.
I understand not forcing, badgering, hounding, or trying to pound the concepts into him.. but I feel like if I just stop working on it with him then I'm giving up. And to be honest, I'm not sure if it's him or me that I feel I'd be giving up on... and maybe that does warrant a deeper look. I just remember when I was his age, doing homework at the kitchen table and bawling because I was so baffled by it... then one day, some how it clicked. I'm by no means a math whiz, but what I know, I know very well... and I know my son is not me, but I can't help thinking that if I just look at this from the right angle, I might be able to find that thing that makes it click for him.

I love my son more than I love good grades. And actually, I've gotten to the point that I don't even look at report cards anymore (much to his counselor's dismay) (Maybe I seem too uptight not to) I just ask that he tries to do his best.

But as a parent, that means I have to do my best too.

I didn't think you snapped at me at all . I hear your frustration I get it.
Your idea of trying to find the one method that works, then providing a cheat card sounds fantastic.

It's amazing really because I was crap at maths, but now I do the accounts (including rents) for a local housing co-operation. LOL it's all voluntary and I am not an accountant or even a book keeper. I think with our kids sometimes you just have to plod on and pray like mad that they don't get to over whelmed and that one day they will have their ah ha moment.

My son's latest teacher has told me not to worry about having him memorize his times tables and such, she is going to give me a set of ten maths equations, that apparently if he can learn these, she can then teach him how to use this knowledge in relation to all maths equations. I must remind her to get this info to me. I think she called it maths mate.

Growing up, math was the worst, but in general I was not a good student. I did my homework, then forgot to turn it in. I didn't test well at all. I got a lot of D report cards. My handwriting was atrocious and my mom made me spend a lot of Saturdays copying poetry out of books to work on it. I didn't learn how to read well (above a Dr Seuss level) until the 3rd grade, but once I learned you couldn't keep me out of a book. It ended up that I got grounded from books a lot because I would "forget" to do my chores. (I still do this!... except my mom can't ground me now!) (neener neener)

In middle school, math was still hard but I became very good at science and history. I became a C-B student, but I had to study a lot.

In high school, MATH STILL SUCKED! But I was finally able to figure out good study habits and learned the best ways for me to cram for a test. I became a mostly A student. Much to my dismay, at some point in middle school I'd taken some test that indicated I should be in advanced English, Science, and History classes.. I remember the first day of those classes.. I walked up to my teacher, "Uhhhhh, I think there's been some mistake..."

I didn't go to college until my son was 8 months old. I was so nervous when I took my placement tests. I mean, I'd been out of school for about 7 years. I breezed through the writing and language assessments, missing like 3 on one and 5 on the other... but I was terrified of the math test. Broken into 4 sections I did the first three with some confidence, and answered the first two on the fourth section.............. then knew nothing else. LOL NOTHING. The funny thing was that every question I did, I got right.

In college, I made Honor Roll every term but one and graduated with a 3.98.

I guess my point is, I know the difficulties right now don't necessarily define the rest of his life.

Oddly, though sometimes frustrating, his behavioral issues don't bother me, except when it causes other kids to want to avoid him. That breaks my heart. Today, he came home from school saying that he was invited to a girl's birthday party because her mom made her invite him. He totally didn't get it. He was stoked he was being invited to a party and didn't connect the dots that the girl didn't really want to invite him. That makes me sad. He's a great kid, I just wish the rest of the world could know the Ben that I know. He however is blissfully ignorant of it, for the most part.

He did however say that other kids call him dumb. I asked him why. He said, "Carlos doesn't know what autism is." To which I answered, "Well, you do, so in that area, you're smarter, right?" He smiled and said that a girl then said that she has ADHD and that she knows how Ben feels. He felt really good about that.

Jeez, I'm just rambling now... I had a point back there somewhere. LOL
Sorry

I just thought I should weigh in here as I might have some unique insight into mathematics.

For starters, allow me to pose this question to you. Does your son seem to have a problem with the mathematics itself, the way it is presented, or the environment in which he is asked to operate? This is really 3 different topics.

For starters, it might just be that your child isn't good at mathematics. And no matter how you teach it, how much work you do, or how much time is spent on it, he isn't going to be good at it. Most people don't want to hear that their child isn't good at mathematics, but it is a fact of life that some people have a weakness when it comes to math. But if this is the case, its not the end of the world. Allow me to expound on that with a little bit of my family history:

My father is very smart when it comes to mathematics. He skipped grades, and blew through every math class that he ever took. He went on to get a degree in computer analysis of statistical simulations (which is basically using a computer to do complex mathematics). And he has made a good career of developing complex mathematical formulations to solve problems. I myself inherited that same aptitude with mathematics. And I am 2 months away from finishing up my Master's degree in Mechanical Engineering with a specialization in Thermal/Fluid systems and computational analysis. Basically, I use the computer to do complex mathematics to solve problems regarding fluid flow. For example, here are some of the equations that I deal with on a daily basis:






In case you are wondering, that is the time averaged Reynolds-Navier-Stokes equations for turbulent energy production.

So, sufficed to say, one side of my family has a good aptitude for mathematics, and has used that to do interesting work.

Conversely, lets consider the other side of my family. My mother has no mathematical ability whatsoever. Percentages confuse her. She cannot add two numbers together unless they are both single digits. Half the time she tries to subtract she gets it wrong, and division is impossible. She actually asked me over dinner about a month ago whether 0.5 or 0.15 was larger. She couldn't figure it out.

My brother has likewise inherited this lack of mathematical ability from my mother. He almost failed out of high school because he couldn't complete algebra 2 after 2 attempts. The school finally let him try an at home software lesson thing, which taught him lessons then quizzed him. He tried that and failed miserably. He got to the final test with only a 45% or something and needed a 90% on the final to pull him up to a D-. Sufficed to say, I took the test for him (the computer doesn't know who is typing in the answers) and got him to pass the class. When he got to college, he had to take 1 random math class to get his degree (any math class, it didn't matter). He signed up for the easiest math class they had, which was intermediate algebra (the same stuff I learned in 6th grade). The entire class confused him, and half the time he had no idea what was going on. I sat down and did the homework with him so he always got 100% there. And even though homework was half the grade, he only pulled a C- in the class, indicating that he averaged mid 40% on his tests. So all that to say, he sucks horribly at mathematics. He always has, and if my mother is any indication, he always will.

So, why am I pointing this out? Well, I am not trying to be mean to my brother, I am trying to prove a point. My brother is now 25 (almost 26) and he is doing fine in life. He has a job that he is good at, that he enjoys, and that pays plenty of money for him and his family. He has a wonderful wife that he loves, he has a house that he owns, and he is happy and content with his situation. And he managed to do all this while still being bad at math. So the lesson here is that MATH IS NOT AS IMPORTANT AS YOU THINK.

The most complex mathematics that most people do is to add, subtract, and maybe do some sales tax. And they have wonderful machines for that which are called calculators. I mean ask yourself, when was the last time you tried to multiply numbers without using a calculator? When was the last time you did long addition by hand? I am an engineer and I don't even do that. If I have anything to add or multiply, I use a calculator; it is faster, easier, and makes less mistakes. And when was the last time you solved an algebraic equation, or graphed a solution? I mean sure, math is very useful for the sort of job that I or my father do, but for 90% of the population, mathematics is not a skill that is used. So don't panic that your son can't do mathematics because 90% of the jobs out there requires no mathematics skills beyond the ability to use a calculator.


Unfortunately, our educational system has deemed that math is an essential skill (despite ample evidence that you can get by just fine in life with no math skills). And as such it has been decided that it shall be drilled into everybody irregardless of whether or not they will ever use it. And this does nothing but harm people like my brother. Because his life was made miserable due to what he was born with.

Lets put this another way. I am skinny, and scrawny, and uncoordinated, and short, and tracking a moving object is not one of my strong points. So sufficed to say, I am bad at sports. Now when I was younger, my parents forced me to participate in sports (I really didn't want to) under the idea that I might be good at it if I tried, and that it might be beneficial for me. It wasn't good for me at all. I sucked at it, I hated it, and all it did was lower my self esteem and give me more anxiety. So my parents decided that it wasn't worth it, and they stopped forcing me to play sports. They saw that I had no future in sports, and that even attempting it was doing far more harm then good. And so they said to themselves, 'whatever, it's just sports. There is more then life than sports, and he doesn't need to get a career in sports. Lets not make him miserable over something that has no benefit for him'.

Conversely, my brother had no math skills, and it was obvious from grade 4 that he never would. But nobody was reasonable and said 'whatever, it's just math. There is more then life than math, and he doesn't need to get a career in math. Lets not make him miserable over something that has no benefit for him'. No, instead they said, 'HE MUST LEARN MATH EVEN IF IT KILLS HIM!'. And as such he was sent to summer classes, he wasted countless hundreds of hours doing math homework to no benefit, he got grounded, punished, insulted, yelled at, and berated (mostly by my mother oddly enough) for not being able to understand something that he just isn't going to get no matter what.

And for what? He still doesn't get it, even today. His childhood was made miserable for nothing. And worse yet, the lectures, and punishments, and misery could all have been avoided if my mother and the school just had enough sense to say, 'whatever, it's just math. There is more then life than math, and he doesn't need to get a career in math. Lets not make him miserable over something that has no benefit for him.' Don't get me wrong, I am all for trying hard, and not giving up when you fail at first. But when you fail for the 50th time, trying gives you a panic attack, and it is making your life miserable, then you need to take a step back and think that there is more to life then math. At some point, you just give the child a calculator and say, 'here you go, this is a tool that every adult uses, and you seem to be in need of tools.' Spend 15 minutes showing him how to use it, and then let him use a calculator, like any adult would. Please don't make your child go through what my brother did. Nobody deserves to be made miserable for not being born with a skill set which society arbitrarily deems as important, especially when that skill really isn't as important as everybody seems to think it is.

Bleh, I just realized I only got to point 1 out of 3, Ill come back and talk about teaching techniques and environmental problems later. I'm going to go sleep now.

Please do come back.. I am anxious to hear what you have to say...

And I do understand. If you read this whole thread, math as never been easy for me. I hated it, cried, but finally got it... partly... but it DID affect my life. I love science. I dreamed my way through high school wanting to be a forensic pathologist. I stupidly retook a math class in high school that I passed, but didn't understand. I was afraid to move on to the next class when I didn't understand what I'd just finished doing. I took ever science class I could in high school and got top grades in almost all of them. Except chemistry... I got an A my first semester, and a D- the second because the math was leaps and bounds beyond what I could understand. Unfortunately, I'm one of those people that works hard if there's no bumps in the road. When I applied to universities, they denied me because I was short a math class. If my GPA had been a smidge higher, or if I had score a few more points on my SAT's, they would have ignored the math class. I was devastated. I didn't know what to do with myself. I floundered for 7 years until I had my son and a new motivation.

I don't want to push my son too hard... but if I can prevent him from an experience like that, I'm going to do what I can. I try REALLY hard not to overwhelm him. To answer your question, he used to just do poorly at school. At home, he could do the work. Sure sometimes there was a little struggle, but I was there with him every step of the way and he managed... and he managed to learn and understand some of it.

I don't know what's happening. He just seems to be losing it all. As I've stated before, he's being put into a special group because he's forgotten how to subtract. He's 9 and can only do "count-by's" past 20 when using 2, 5, and 10. It seems like every process they try to add robs him of one he kinda had. He by no means had mastered any of them... but he could get by.

Where's it going?
Is it because for the majority of this year I haven't been doing extra math with him?
Is it because they don't do very much math at school? (or at least only has homework in it once a week. Which bites my ass, he has handwriting homework twice a week... if ever there was an obsolete skill, it's cursive!)
Is it because we've recently lowered his ADHD meds? ... we see his psychiatrist next week and I'm going to talk about it.. Ben was at 72 mg of Concerta.. I got the doctor to reduce the dose to see if that would help his anxiety and I never felt there was that great of improvement with the higher dose.. Because of the insurance company dragging it's feet with the preauthorization for the new dose, I actually had to cut his dose from 72 to 36mg. He seemed completely fine at home on that dose, so we decided to keep him there instead of bumping him up to the 54(?) mg dose. Since then I have noticed this issue intensify. He's also started having problems with impulsivity in school.. He's gotten a few referrals.. and is now terrified of being expelled if he gets 2 more.

He was not reprimanded at home (in case you're wondering). I asked him what happened.
1st referral: being disruptive in the restroom (throwing toilet paper back and forth over the stalls with another boy) He focused on the other boy starting it. I said that might be, but you made a wrong choice in how to deal with it. Throwing it back got you into trouble. How can you handle try to handle it better in the future. And we discussed options.
2nd referral: being disruptive during state assessments. When he told me he was leaving his seat and talking.. we discussed why that's inappropriate for the situation and that he should approach the teacher and tell her simply that he just can't sit still and quiet anymore.

Back to math... I found something that is showing improvement.. He's been playing a multiplication based video game, Timez Attack... and he likes playing it.. asks to play it... Right now we just have the freebie... but he was quite excited when I told him there were more levels we could buy. If he continues interest, I'll buy it. I would rather him spend a half hour or so playing a game he enjoys and learns from than spend an hour trying to help him memorize or teach strategies that he just doesn't get.

Anyway, I certainly don't want to torture my child and make him miserable... My point is that if I can help figure out his problem or a way to help him make some sense of it, it would reduce his stress... but I don't want to torture him in the process.. but I also have to try... However, if we come up against a wall and math just really isn't possible for him... then I'll help him get by. However, there will come a point when someone else has to teach him how to use the above-average calculator... cuz I can't program those things... ! LOL!

And I have to say.... your equation that you did.... so far over my head you might as well be writing in Aramaic, but impressive!

It's late... I need to go to bed... I hope to hear from you soon.
Thank you!

A few things came to mind while reading all this. On supplements, try magnesium for calmness. As for avoiding gluten, just yesterday I recieved a hugely positive report from my son that going gluten free has helped him think more clearly and make him calm. (I am just thrilled b/c my husband has not agreed w/ the gluten free experiment!! !)

On meds, I would caution to make sure that whoever prescribes the meds knows a lot about Aspergers. I just want to say that my daughter has ADD and my son has Aspergers. I know very clearly that what looks like ADD in my son is very different than how it plays out in my daughter. I personally think much of what looks like ADD in Aspies is just another element of Aspergers, not really ADD, and therefore, ADD meds will act differenty in an aspie. Now, you said you saw a big difference in you son's impulsivity so maybe it's worth taking the meds for that.

About math, I really love Tracker and everything he writes and found the above post extremely encouraging! I would add, though, that your son is young. With Tracker's brother's experience in mind, you can relax the pressure on your son while you take some time to figure out the bottem line. What elements of math are the most important for your son to know before he hits adulthood. Tracker says his brother owns a house and functions well in life. Daily life requires math (okay, maybe arithmatic) constantly and without much thinking - cooking, measuring time, shopping without getting cheated, keeping a checkbook, paying bills, scheduling etc. Unfortunately, as others have posted, schools have agendas that may be throwing far more at your son at once than he can handle.

Certainly continue with Timz Attack. It is very fun and works for some kids. Others don't really learn the facts but it doesn't hurt. On using a calculator, the question is, will he know how to appy it for typical demands of life? If not, that's what you'll have to teach.

Now, you probably are not interested in homeschooling but here's what you could do if you were. You could abandon all curriculum and have your child do all the math in the course of daily living. If you sew, cook, or he makes something out of wood or any other project, there will be plenty of math.

Then after a while, I would start RightStart math at level B. It's very strong on concepts and it's hands on. You use an abacus so he can see exactly what he is doing. They highly recommend using the abacus until he doesn't need it. Don't have your own agenda for when you think he shouldn't need it or you'll just prolong his need for it. When he gets the concept, he won't need the abacus. The program is very teacher intensive so you will know exactly where his stregnth and weakness are. The best part is that your son will do his drill using games. There are very few worksheets. Games are far more motivation. See, my thinking is that for kids who don't get math easily, they still need to know the basic elements of math well so they don't get cheated in life. RightStart builds a very strong foundation. It also is excellent for advanced kids b/c you go at your child's speed. They have excellent customer support. You can call them before you buy and lay out all your concerns for your child and they can address them.

My own story, I've used RightStart from the start. My daughter does great, loves the games, and I love it. My son didn't love it. Funny though, he is always accurate but slow. I didn't know he had Aspergers and he thought I was hard on him. Since RightStart is teacher intensive, it wasn't working for our relationship. I went to another pgm and then learned about Aspergers. Now we are back to RightStart because other programs just don't teach as well.

I realize you may not be able to do RightStart on the side or homeschool but this post may help somebody. You could try RightStart during the summer on a slow basis. You'll move through the first 10 or 20 lessons quickly, maybe several lessons per day, and then it will slow down.

I have vaguely thought about homeschooling, the bottom line is that Ben still loves school. Yes, he gets frustrated but he still looks forward to it.

I started reading "Congratulations! Your Child is Strange" yesterday, and I'm only halfway through it... (it makes me Google A LOT) and the one big difference that I'm noticing is that Ben WANTS to be social... he just isn't very good at it. At this point, when others are put off by his over-the-top-in-your-face-be-my-best-best-friend excitedness, Ben is completely oblivious.

I pulled Ben out of Cub Scouts this year because it was not an environment where he could succeed. I felt like every week I was setting him up for failure. There was another child with some sort of "personality" diagnosis who could not leave Ben alone. When no one was looking this kid would steal Ben's chair, whisper rude things to him, and just antagonize him in discrete ways until Ben exploded and got in trouble.... There was also an adult who doesn't believe that you have to give respect to get respect and would do things such as snatch papers from Ben's hands and Ben would blow up. Every meeting... I guess the last straw was when the other boy's mom, whom I considered a friend, and who also has an older child with Asperger's and another one with ....... the defiant disorder... she looked at me one day and said, "Krista.... I don't know how you do it.. I couldn't...."

I was devastated.. I mean, she's known me and my child for 3 years and obviously, she doesn't know him at all. If Scouts makes him appear to be "that" child, then it just wasn't a good place for him to be...

But my point for it is... he always wants to go back. He misses it..... and I feel like a jerk telling him that we aren't going... but I have to wonder how much of his want to go is simply because we did it every Monday for 3 years?
He wants to go places, he wants to do things... and he does NOT self entertain. He does NOT like to be alone. To be honest, I think it would make life easier if he didn't want to go out and do those things and socialize... Though I'm sure the grass is always greener, right?

This is why I am so thankful that Ben is in a social skills class at school. If he didn't have any interest in being social, then I wouldn't care so much. You remember the old Loony Toons with Spike the bulldog and his little hyper-yippy companion? "Hey'ya Spike old buddy, old pal. What are we going to do today Spike. Gee Spike you sure are great!" etc.. That's my son!

Sorry, I'm not quite through my first cup of coffee yet, so I'm a little all over the place.

I supposed here, I'm like MATHMATHMATH... because that's the immediate concern that I have... I want you all to know, I am not cramming math in my child's face non-stop like some obsessed freak. Yesterday, he had a half-hour break after school (and HE chose for it to only be a half hour so that he could get his homework done before a marathon of his favorite tv show came on.) His assigned homework from school was the standard "Read for 20 minutes" and one page front and back of handwriting which he whips through in like 3 minutes. When he comes home with an assignment like that, it's a perfect time to have him study his spelling words a little extra or work on his "count-by's" or other math skills. Yesterday he asked to play the video game. That, to me, is a perfect substitute for additional math time.

When I was his age, I had text books.. Math, spelling, english, science, and social studies or history. I had homework in at least two subjects a night. I had to copy from those text books... They apparently burned all the text books in this country and don't plan on making more..... (or something like that) because my son has never had one... and apparently, they no longer believe that homework re-enforces the skills learned within the classroom. I'm not trying to drown my son in homework, but doing homework with him gives me the opportunity to give him one on one help, word it in a way he understands (I have found that he understands better if you don't say 2 x 3 = ? but instead 2 three times equals what?), and with one on one, he gets that positive re-enforcement that he needs.

aann... what dose of Mg do you use?

During our next IEP, is it reasonable to say that if they can't provide me with some sort of explanation of the current process they are using, and I feel I can't help Ben with his homework that I attach a note saying so and his not doing it shouldn't be counted against him? At this point, if we don't do it... he loses recess the next day.. That doesn't seem fair to me. Especially because I have requested explanations many times!.. .. and sometimes what they're asking kids to do doesn't seem logical. I feel it's not productive to teach Ben something incorrectly, as it will just be that much more confusing to correct the error later.

I'm going to shut up now..
Thank you!

lol so cute.....