15 Mar 2011, 10:15 am
ChekaMan
Pileated woodpecker
Joined: 17 Aug 2010
Age: 45
Gender: Male
Posts: 184
Location: Whitstable,UK
15 Mar 2011, 10:23 am
15 Mar 2011, 10:25 am
15 Mar 2011, 10:35 am
15 Mar 2011, 11:26 am
15 Mar 2011, 1:49 pm
tskin1 wrote:
Quote:
This is true but you should ask yourself , are you that unhappy and suffocated being a mother and a wife that you need to reinvent yourself or is it societies push for you to do so? Many marriages end because of this push or because of "friends", with television shows like desperate house wives, real housewives etc etc all of this push for women to go out an be themselves, "girls night out, girls nights out, girl time", "make over", which leaves one's relationship susceptible to infidelity, "shopping dates", "sex and the city - prime example" "I know there are some women who thrive in this environment or even need it but there are many women who don't, I feel women are being hypnotized and being fed subliminal messages to control spending, relationships, (through divorce the state gets way more money fast), at some point women need to ask themselves, Is there so much that's really wrong with me in the first place? Is this really not enough for me?
there are lots of reasons for a person to feel they've disappeared. In my case it had nothing to do with tv altho desperate housewives is very funny in an unrealistic way. I think what happened is exactely what was written in the threat that I responded to. I gave up all the things I enjoyed, singing, drawing, friends, family.....(not talking about girls nite out) simply conversations, picnics, whatever.. I did not retain the identity of Tami instead I became his wife, their mother and the person I was disappeared completely. (bit like being in a daydream.. your going about your life your a great mom and a great wife but your on auto pilot) One day you wake up maybe it's because someone noticed "you" not the outer person but the one inside the one that had been yes stiffled for a lot of years , the one that was witty and charming and had ideas, dreams and thoughts that at one time mattered..... it sounds terribly depressing but the point is when you give up everything those things that make you laugh or smile or debate or calm you down.... eventually possibly out of self preservation you miss them and need them but because it's been so long you dont remember what they were you just know that the current situation is destroying you.
I totally agree with you but I feel that the husband has the potential to feel the same way depending upon one's relationship, also societal forces, work, kids, I can imagine drain the life out of you, (the once ever so great American Dream has turned into human slavery), alone time is necessary, couples alone time as well.
Quote:
Personally I think being a mother is a very hard job, a mother can greatly help or horribly deter her children to a successful life or horrible disaster or somewhere in between. Being in a monogamous relationships has its ups and downs but its proven the ones that last are the happiest, live the longest,
completely agree here
Quote:
Also, what's the sense in being in a relationship if you don't want to spend time together?
I agree with you there as well the question wasn't with not spending time together it was with giving up those things that interest you. What i'm suggesting is that you can have both a happy fullfilling relationship with someone; without having to let go of the things you enjoy the most.
I totally agree with you too.
15 Mar 2011, 1:55 pm
tskin1 wrote:
Quote:
This is true but you should ask yourself , are you that unhappy and suffocated being a mother and a wife that you need to reinvent yourself or is it societies push for you to do so? Many marriages end because of this push or because of "friends", with television shows like desperate house wives, real housewives etc etc all of this push for women to go out an be themselves, "girls night out, girls nights out, girl time", "make over", which leaves one's relationship susceptible to infidelity, "shopping dates", "sex and the city - prime example" "I know there are some women who thrive in this environment or even need it but there are many women who don't, I feel women are being hypnotized and being fed subliminal messages to control spending, relationships, (through divorce the state gets way more money fast), at some point women need to ask themselves, Is there so much that's really wrong with me in the first place? Is this really not enough for me?
there are lots of reasons for a person to feel they've disappeared. In my case it had nothing to do with tv altho desperate housewives is very funny in an unrealistic way. I think what happened is exactely what was written in the threat that I responded to. I gave up all the things I enjoyed, singing, drawing, friends, family.....(not talking about girls nite out) simply conversations, picnics, whatever.. I did not retain the identity of Tami instead I became his wife, their mother and the person I was disappeared completely. (bit like being in a daydream.. your going about your life your a great mom and a great wife but your on auto pilot) One day you wake up maybe it's because someone noticed "you" not the outer person but the one inside the one that had been yes stiffled for a lot of years , the one that was witty and charming and had ideas, dreams and thoughts that at one time mattered..... it sounds terribly depressing but the point is when you give up everything those things that make you laugh or smile or debate or calm you down.... eventually possibly out of self preservation you miss them and need them but because it's been so long you dont remember what they were you just know that the current situation is destroying you.
I totally agree with you but I feel that the husband has the potential to feel the same way depending upon one's relationship, also societal forces, work, kids, I can imagine drain the life out of you, (the once ever so great American Dream has turned into human slavery), alone time is necessary, couples alone time as well.
Quote:
Personally I think being a mother is a very hard job, a mother can greatly help or horribly deter her children to a successful life or horrible disaster or somewhere in between. Being in a monogamous relationships has its ups and downs but its proven the ones that last are the happiest, live the longest,
completely agree here
Quote:
Also, what's the sense in being in a relationship if you don't want to spend time together?
I agree with you there as well the question wasn't with not spending time together it was with giving up those things that interest you. What i'm suggesting is that you can have both a happy fullfilling relationship with someone; without having to let go of the things you enjoy the most.
I totally agree with you too.
Giftorcurse
Veteran
Joined: 13 Apr 2009
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,887
Location: Port Royal, South Carolina
15 Mar 2011, 5:12 pm
15 Mar 2011, 5:26 pm
15 Mar 2011, 5:43 pm
15 Mar 2011, 5:51 pm
15 Mar 2011, 8:16 pm
Grisha wrote:
Who_Am_I wrote:
Grisha wrote:
Who_Am_I wrote:
I get sick of boys implying that I must be lying when I state my preferences, and that since I'm female, I must be a clone of all other females.
Shy is fine.
Socially awkward is fine.
Nerdy is hot.
Whiny stereotyping is a major turn-off.
Shy is fine.
Socially awkward is fine.
Nerdy is hot.
Whiny stereotyping is a major turn-off.
Fine - point taken...
Now will you marry me?
Of course!
Now that that's out of the way, perhaps a proper introduction would be in order?
Jeez, are you high maintenance or what?
Yeah, tell me about it! It makes me terribly ashamed of myself, but as a female whose free will is subsumed by evolutionary demands, I feel compelled to have a partner who has told me his name; or at least lied about it in a convincing manner.
15 Mar 2011, 8:25 pm
15 Mar 2011, 8:59 pm
Who_Am_I wrote:
Grisha wrote:
Who_Am_I wrote:
Grisha wrote:
Who_Am_I wrote:
I get sick of boys implying that I must be lying when I state my preferences, and that since I'm female, I must be a clone of all other females.
Shy is fine.
Socially awkward is fine.
Nerdy is hot.
Whiny stereotyping is a major turn-off.
Shy is fine.
Socially awkward is fine.
Nerdy is hot.
Whiny stereotyping is a major turn-off.
Fine - point taken...
Now will you marry me?
Of course!
Now that that's out of the way, perhaps a proper introduction would be in order?
Jeez, are you high maintenance or what?
Yeah, tell me about it! It makes me terribly ashamed of myself, but as a female whose free will is subsumed by evolutionary demands, I feel compelled to have a partner who has told me his name; or at least lied about it in a convincing manner.
Details, details...
15 Mar 2011, 11:38 pm
The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,886
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
16 Mar 2011, 2:47 am
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