Have Any of You Dated a Neurotypical Female?

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tskin1
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15 Mar 2011, 1:28 am

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In any case its important to make time for yourself if you need routines, as it can lead to problems later. Maybe I am alone in this but a few other people, women & men I have talked to here seem to have gone through similar situations at one point or another


I think this is true regaurdless if you are NT, AS.. we as individuals need to remain individuals but find someone who compliments us and who we compliment. Being in a relationship doesn't have to mean that you cease to exist as you and in fact it does as you said cause issues later. Imagine being married 12 years giving up everything and every piece of your identiy to be the 'wife and mother' only to wake up at 38 and realize you have to reinvent yourself lol :)



Cyanide
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15 Mar 2011, 2:44 am

I've never dated another girl with AS, but only one of them was really "normal". I never told her about my DX, so I have no idea how she would've felt about it. As for dating her, it was a mixed bag. She did the "typical girl" thing of expecting me to read her mind a lot, and never directly telling me how she felt about things. We only dated for a few months, but ironically, she's the only ex I still ever talk to. :lol:

Pretty much every other girl I've ever been in a relationship/went on a date with have just either been "weird" or just plain coo-coo for cocoa puffs. 8O



Bimin
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15 Mar 2011, 3:22 am

tskin1 wrote:
Quote:
In any case its important to make time for yourself if you need routines, as it can lead to problems later. Maybe I am alone in this but a few other people, women & men I have talked to here seem to have gone through similar situations at one point or another


I think this is true regaurdless if you are NT, AS.. we as individuals need to remain individuals but find someone who compliments us and who we compliment. Being in a relationship doesn't have to mean that you cease to exist as you and in fact it does as you said cause issues later. Imagine being married 12 years giving up everything and every piece of your identiy to be the 'wife and mother' only to wake up at 38 and realize you have to reinvent yourself lol :)









This is true but you should ask yourself , are you that unhappy and suffocated being a mother and a wife that you need to reinvent yourself or is it societies push for you to do so? Many marriages end because of this push or because of "friends", with television shows like desperate house wives, real housewives etc etc all of this push for women to go out an be themselves, "girls night out, girls nights out, girl time", "make over", which leaves one's relationship susceptible to infidelity, "shopping dates", "sex and the city - prime example" "I know there are some women who thrive in this environment or even need it but there are many women who don't, I feel women are being hypnotized and being fed subliminal messages to control spending, relationships, (through divorce the state gets way more money fast), at some point women need to ask themselves, Is there so much that's really wrong with me in the first place? Is this really not enough for me?

Personally I think being a mother is a very hard job, a mother can greatly help or horribly deter her children to a successful life or horrible disaster or somewhere in between. Being in a monogamous relationships has its ups and downs but its proven the ones that last are the happiest, live the longest,

Also, what's the sense in being in a relationship if you don't want to spend time together?



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15 Mar 2011, 3:50 am

well, I found my advice thread, so I shall link it.


http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt148805.html


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tskin1
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15 Mar 2011, 4:31 am

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This is true but you should ask yourself , are you that unhappy and suffocated being a mother and a wife that you need to reinvent yourself or is it societies push for you to do so? Many marriages end because of this push or because of "friends", with television shows like desperate house wives, real housewives etc etc all of this push for women to go out an be themselves, "girls night out, girls nights out, girl time", "make over", which leaves one's relationship susceptible to infidelity, "shopping dates", "sex and the city - prime example" "I know there are some women who thrive in this environment or even need it but there are many women who don't, I feel women are being hypnotized and being fed subliminal messages to control spending, relationships, (through divorce the state gets way more money fast), at some point women need to ask themselves, Is there so much that's really wrong with me in the first place? Is this really not enough for me?


there are lots of reasons for a person to feel they've disappeared. In my case it had nothing to do with tv altho desperate housewives is very funny in an unrealistic way. I think what happened is exactely what was written in the threat that I responded to. I gave up all the things I enjoyed, singing, drawing, friends, family.....(not talking about girls nite out) simply conversations, picnics, whatever.. I did not retain the identity of Tami instead I became his wife, their mother and the person I was disappeared completely. (bit like being in a daydream.. your going about your life your a great mom and a great wife but your on auto pilot) One day you wake up maybe it's because someone noticed "you" not the outer person but the one inside the one that had been yes stiffled for a lot of years , the one that was witty and charming and had ideas, dreams and thoughts that at one time mattered..... it sounds terribly depressing but the point is when you give up everything those things that make you laugh or smile or debate or calm you down.... eventually possibly out of self preservation you miss them and need them but because it's been so long you dont remember what they were you just know that the current situation is dystroying you.

Quote:
Personally I think being a mother is a very hard job, a mother can greatly help or horribly deter her children to a successful life or horrible disaster or somewhere in between. Being in a monogamous relationships has its ups and downs but its proven the ones that last are the happiest, live the longest,


completely agree here :)

Quote:
Also, what's the sense in being in a relationship if you don't want to spend time together?


I agree with you there as well the question wasn't with not spending time together it was with giving up those things that interest you. What i'm suggesting is that you can have both a happy fullfilling relationship with someone; without having to let go of the things you enjoy the most.



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15 Mar 2011, 6:30 am

ToadOfSteel wrote:
Janissy wrote:
"Socially awkward" is a deal breaker for many women. And I bet if you listen closely, they aren't claiming to like socially awkward guys. You are probaly assuming nerd=socially awkard so if they say they like one, they must like both traits. But I think socially awkward is something that can be overcome with practice.


What if a guy is incredibly awkward around strangers but okay among friends?


He'll probably wind up with a girl who is introduced to him by friends or a girl who joins a group he is already a part of or a girl who he is friends with first.



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15 Mar 2011, 8:14 am

Who_Am_I wrote:
Grisha wrote:
Who_Am_I wrote:
I get sick of boys implying that I must be lying when I state my preferences, and that since I'm female, I must be a clone of all other females.

Shy is fine.

Socially awkward is fine.

Nerdy is hot.

Whiny stereotyping is a major turn-off.


Fine - point taken...

Now will you marry me? :wink:


Of course!

Now that that's out of the way, perhaps a proper introduction would be in order?

:lol:


Jeez, are you high maintenance or what? :wink:



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15 Mar 2011, 10:15 am

SadAspy wrote:
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Whiny stereotyping is a major turn-off.


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or "shy, socially awkward nerdy guys" who spent their time ranting about women.


I KNEW this was coming. Of course, I can't get a girl....I spend time all my time complaining about them!

I only started complaining after many hurtful rejections....I didn't just wake up one day and decide to start ranting about women, so don't get the cause-and-effect relationship mixed up here.


"Bad boys" in a general sense...I'm not sure we really have the same thing in mind because you can't really tell if someone is a "bad boy" by looking at them,. get a lot of women because they pick them up left and right and don't get discouraged when they get turned down because they never put an emotional investment in it and it's a sport to them. It's not that girls like them more.



ChekaMan
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15 Mar 2011, 10:23 am

I dated an NT girl but we broke up due to distance and our different thoughts on life.



Jonsi
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15 Mar 2011, 10:25 am

Several times. One I met made my life crap. The other made my life the best.

Aperger's Syndrome isn't a turn-off for most people. It's how you treat them that matters.



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15 Mar 2011, 10:35 am

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What if a guy is incredibly awkward around strangers but okay among friends?


That's a snapshot of where he is today, not a life sentence, and if he pushes the envelope he'll develop further.



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15 Mar 2011, 11:26 am

DemonAbyss10 wrote:
well, I found my advice thread, so I shall link it.


http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt148805.html


With the possible exception of calling other people shallow, I don't do any of those things you listed.



Bimin
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15 Mar 2011, 1:49 pm

tskin1 wrote:
Quote:
This is true but you should ask yourself , are you that unhappy and suffocated being a mother and a wife that you need to reinvent yourself or is it societies push for you to do so? Many marriages end because of this push or because of "friends", with television shows like desperate house wives, real housewives etc etc all of this push for women to go out an be themselves, "girls night out, girls nights out, girl time", "make over", which leaves one's relationship susceptible to infidelity, "shopping dates", "sex and the city - prime example" "I know there are some women who thrive in this environment or even need it but there are many women who don't, I feel women are being hypnotized and being fed subliminal messages to control spending, relationships, (through divorce the state gets way more money fast), at some point women need to ask themselves, Is there so much that's really wrong with me in the first place? Is this really not enough for me?


there are lots of reasons for a person to feel they've disappeared. In my case it had nothing to do with tv altho desperate housewives is very funny in an unrealistic way. I think what happened is exactely what was written in the threat that I responded to. I gave up all the things I enjoyed, singing, drawing, friends, family.....(not talking about girls nite out) simply conversations, picnics, whatever.. I did not retain the identity of Tami instead I became his wife, their mother and the person I was disappeared completely. (bit like being in a daydream.. your going about your life your a great mom and a great wife but your on auto pilot) One day you wake up maybe it's because someone noticed "you" not the outer person but the one inside the one that had been yes stiffled for a lot of years , the one that was witty and charming and had ideas, dreams and thoughts that at one time mattered..... it sounds terribly depressing but the point is when you give up everything those things that make you laugh or smile or debate or calm you down.... eventually possibly out of self preservation you miss them and need them but because it's been so long you dont remember what they were you just know that the current situation is destroying you.



I totally agree with you but I feel that the husband has the potential to feel the same way depending upon one's relationship, also societal forces, work, kids, I can imagine drain the life out of you, (the once ever so great American Dream has turned into human slavery), alone time is necessary, couples alone time as well.

Quote:
Personally I think being a mother is a very hard job, a mother can greatly help or horribly deter her children to a successful life or horrible disaster or somewhere in between. Being in a monogamous relationships has its ups and downs but its proven the ones that last are the happiest, live the longest,


completely agree here :)

Quote:
Also, what's the sense in being in a relationship if you don't want to spend time together?


I agree with you there as well the question wasn't with not spending time together it was with giving up those things that interest you. What i'm suggesting is that you can have both a happy fullfilling relationship with someone; without having to let go of the things you enjoy the most.


I totally agree with you too.



Bimin
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15 Mar 2011, 1:55 pm

tskin1 wrote:
Quote:
This is true but you should ask yourself , are you that unhappy and suffocated being a mother and a wife that you need to reinvent yourself or is it societies push for you to do so? Many marriages end because of this push or because of "friends", with television shows like desperate house wives, real housewives etc etc all of this push for women to go out an be themselves, "girls night out, girls nights out, girl time", "make over", which leaves one's relationship susceptible to infidelity, "shopping dates", "sex and the city - prime example" "I know there are some women who thrive in this environment or even need it but there are many women who don't, I feel women are being hypnotized and being fed subliminal messages to control spending, relationships, (through divorce the state gets way more money fast), at some point women need to ask themselves, Is there so much that's really wrong with me in the first place? Is this really not enough for me?


there are lots of reasons for a person to feel they've disappeared. In my case it had nothing to do with tv altho desperate housewives is very funny in an unrealistic way. I think what happened is exactely what was written in the threat that I responded to. I gave up all the things I enjoyed, singing, drawing, friends, family.....(not talking about girls nite out) simply conversations, picnics, whatever.. I did not retain the identity of Tami instead I became his wife, their mother and the person I was disappeared completely. (bit like being in a daydream.. your going about your life your a great mom and a great wife but your on auto pilot) One day you wake up maybe it's because someone noticed "you" not the outer person but the one inside the one that had been yes stiffled for a lot of years , the one that was witty and charming and had ideas, dreams and thoughts that at one time mattered..... it sounds terribly depressing but the point is when you give up everything those things that make you laugh or smile or debate or calm you down.... eventually possibly out of self preservation you miss them and need them but because it's been so long you dont remember what they were you just know that the current situation is destroying you.



I totally agree with you but I feel that the husband has the potential to feel the same way depending upon one's relationship, also societal forces, work, kids, I can imagine drain the life out of you, (the once ever so great American Dream has turned into human slavery), alone time is necessary, couples alone time as well.

Quote:
Personally I think being a mother is a very hard job, a mother can greatly help or horribly deter her children to a successful life or horrible disaster or somewhere in between. Being in a monogamous relationships has its ups and downs but its proven the ones that last are the happiest, live the longest,


completely agree here :)

Quote:
Also, what's the sense in being in a relationship if you don't want to spend time together?


I agree with you there as well the question wasn't with not spending time together it was with giving up those things that interest you. What i'm suggesting is that you can have both a happy fullfilling relationship with someone; without having to let go of the things you enjoy the most.


I totally agree with you too.



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15 Mar 2011, 5:12 pm

No. They're probably whores anyway.


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