Oh wow! He wants to meet me! A person wants to meet me!

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MONKEY
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14 Mar 2011, 6:21 am

A while ago now some boy (or man, he's 18 so uhhh young man, lad, whatever) from college added me on facebook. I don't know him but he recognised me because I used to have brightly coloured hair. Well, the last couple of weeks or so we've been talking to each other, I've commented on a few of his statuses. And now I've just got a pm from him that said "yo, you seem like a pretty cool and level-headed person, how do you fancy meeting up in town one day?"
Oh shiiiit! I haven't replied to him yet, but I shall soon. I would like to see him, but at the same time I'm just shocked and caught off guard. For ages now I've taken the safe route, just seeing the same few old friends and staying within my comfort zone not planning on changing it. Now, suddenly someone from college on facebook wants to meet me in town. I'm shitting bricks now, I want to make a good impression but how the hell do I do that? He says I seem pretty cool, how do I seem pretty cool IRL? I'm not pretty cool, I'm a quiet nervous reck usually. Usually resorting to silly sarcasm when there's nothing else to say. I just hope to god he'll bring some others with him so I've got less pressure put on me.
Now he, he is cool. Not one of the popular kids, but he hangs around with rockers and metal heads and that. And he's more like a middle of the popularity ladder kind of person, and has a large social circle with friends and friends of friends that all know each other. I know some of his friends from primary school, but they remember what I was like back then and I was anything but "level headed" or "pretty cool". Of course I've changed A LOT since primary school, and you wouldn't think I was the same person but they would still have old memories tainting their expectations of me.

tl:dr, some guy from college I don't know personally wants to meet me in town. WTF do I do? How to make a good impression and at least nearly live up to his expectations?


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Lene
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14 Mar 2011, 6:50 am

aw, congrats :) . Just be yourself; no point beginning anything with a fake persona.

Oh yeah, and let someone know where, when you're going etc.. be safe!



danw
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14 Mar 2011, 12:29 pm

Men think that it's just them being so nervous before dating, women think it's just them being so nervous before dating... :oops: Your guy is probably just as nervous as you are before dating.

Just try to relax and behave normally. :D

Don't think 'I'm so weird, he's never going to like me anyway after having spent an evening with me' ! !!

Think 'I'm not like the average, I'm a special kind of person in a good way'.

It took me years to accept that and think of myself in this way. However, I'm happily engaged now to a woman that is also by far not average. It took me a few relationships with women before having found the right one. But it was worth it. And even after the third relationship or so, I was still very nervous before dates.

Maybe stand in front of the mirror and say comforting and reassuring words to your yourself by looking yourself in the eyes.

Besides, it will be fine, just meet up with him! There's nothing you can do wrong, just behave like you do normally. Maybe he's even an aspie as well, in which case you probably get on really well with each other by mutually understanding each others strengths and weaknesses. This is one of the reasons why I'm getting on so well with my fiancée, she's had some issues during childhood as well, we can talk about it and reassure each other, which is very comforting and soothing.

Good luck! Keep us posted if you like.



Dantac
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14 Mar 2011, 2:56 pm

good luck :)


be safe and make sure you always date and stay in public/crowded areas. Get to know his friends too as they will be the best indicator and sources of insight into his personality.



MONKEY
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14 Mar 2011, 5:24 pm

I've just got a reply from him after I said yes, he asked if I wanted to go cinemas with him some time next week!

Also my mum's more excited than I am, she keeps squealing and giggling like an idiot.


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Lene
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14 Mar 2011, 10:11 pm

MONKEY wrote:

Also my mum's more excited than I am, she keeps squealing and giggling like an idiot.


:lol:



daedal
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16 Mar 2011, 4:05 pm

Aww :D That's cool!

Maybe you should bring some conversation cards. Or go to the cinema, perfect.

I've had that happen- talking with friends' friends on the internet or texting and their asking to meet up with me...and of course I was far too scared! But the texts are nice to read. They make me seem like a nice normal girl, especially when it comes to them saying they want to meet up.

My parents were all "he'll have to come round for aperitif first". Why aperitif? Weird people! Oh well. Meant I didn't have to go. No way were they coming round to my house.



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17 Mar 2011, 1:30 pm

Would I sound too Mommy if I advise caution? I don't actually know what means you have to be sure he is who and what he says he is, and I'm trying to not be patronizing here, I just want remind you of what I'm sure you already know. As it was mentioned before... make it a very public place. I got to know my husband through mail and e-mail, but we met through his cousin. So there was that connection.


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MONKEY
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17 Mar 2011, 2:44 pm

irishwhistle wrote:
Would I sound too Mommy if I advise caution? I don't actually know what means you have to be sure he is who and what he says he is, and I'm trying to not be patronizing here, I just want remind you of what I'm sure you already know. As it was mentioned before... make it a very public place. I got to know my husband through mail and e-mail, but we met through his cousin. So there was that connection.


It should be alright, he't not a complete stranger. He knows me from college and I know quite a few of his friends well, he's quite popular in his crowd. I can easily find out how real he is, he doesn't have much of an opportunity to fake anything.


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WinterRain
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20 Mar 2011, 10:39 am

You'll do fine. Just keep your anxiety levels in check (temporarily using prescribed, safe doses of anxiolytics will do the trick) and have fun!

It is a good idea to keep your guard up, but sparingly.



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22 Mar 2011, 2:36 pm

I'd err on the side of caution here, although this sounds like this'll be a really good experience.

Maybe see if you can meet him beforehand and or definitely call him beforehand. Are you guys going alone? Are you guys going with a huge group? If that stuff doesn't matter, go for it.



MONKEY
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24 Mar 2011, 3:52 pm

It's the big day tomorrow! We're meeting at the cinemas, the film starts half 8 at night. I'm guessing it's just the 2 of us, but if he brings a group I won't mind. Nervous as hell though.


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28 Mar 2011, 9:39 pm

How did it go?



MONKEY
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29 Mar 2011, 7:11 am

It went quite well. :)
We both felt really awkward and nervous, but we spoke quite a lot for about 45 minutes before the film started. Although I cringe at some of the things I said, because he reminded me of them on facebook next day (3 weird facts they were.) But I'm sure he might have cringed at himself too, everyone does. The film we watched was good, especially the soundtrack I wonder when they're releasing the album of it.
We're still talking regularly on facebook and I want to see him again.

Also, that night he wrote something on his wall that started with "great night, great company...". Which is good!


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ominous
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30 Mar 2011, 6:33 am

This story made me giddy like your mother. :)