And the Prospect of Friendship are slim

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My dad still works and I still have to go to college. J bird is okay on his own in the house...sometimes. But tends to forget to eat or do his homework for that fact of the matter. So we usually have him over at a neighbors house sometimes. They have kids of their own and have always seem to do fine with J bird since he's usually on his own most times, doing his usual. He brings his little PSP with him in his school bag and plays that. His Lego games. After of course he finishes his homework. So we know these people.

Today was a special day, they had an Xbox 360...brand new. And they invited him to stay over and to bring his favorite game. He was so excited. He's never really communicated with the kids of these neighbors much. Here and there, but they loose interest because he talks about Legos to much. Its always been a bit hard. Their mom felt that if the kids had a universal system, that wallah they would start talking.

Well my brother isn't as easy that. He gets very absorbed into things and it might have not been the best for him to bring his own game. One of the kids felt that my brother was holding up the group in multiplayer. That he was slow. Which caused a bit of a disgruntle. So the parents suggested they change the game.

Well my brother wasn't going to have any of that. He didn't want them to change out the game. The boys argued, but eventually they changed the game. Well my brother wasn't having much fun because they took him from his interest. He probably felt like the kids had picked on him or something and shutdown.

When the boys decided to change to another new game. My brother thought this meant they were willing to play his game. They got mad and told him no. He got mad in his usual way. The boys got mad at J bird and told him to go away and he was annoying.

I think what got J bird the most upset is that they threw his game at him. To him these aren't games. And yes its called Legos Indiana Jones, however my brother has names for them and gives them feelings. So throwing his game at him isn't exactly the best reaction. While the kids are loading up the game they want to play J bird turns of their Xbox 360. Well now he's just interupted their game.

The kids mom goes to separate them, while the father goes on to call me and tell me that there is a bit of a disgruntle.

Let's just say this, before I get there the argument ends in J bird's snapped disc and someone's broken controller. I told them I would pay for the controller and they said that should be paying for J bird's game. And I said it isn't needed.

The prospects of J bird getting friends after this is looking kind of slim now. I have a feeling all the kids in school is going to hear about this one at school. I'm dreading a Monday. I have a feeling I'm going to get a call from the school tomorrow.

Why can't my brother not attract attention and trouble

btw, this is more like a big brother rant thread. Reall than asking for any general advice

You're right. I don't think there is a whole lot of advice anyone could give you. But I did want to tell you that I admire you for being a conscientious big brother. It's obvious you care a lot for him. It must be difficult feeling like you're in charge here. Please try to see that you have a great resource - your neighbors seem like great people. I know it might not work out that your brother becomes friends with the kids, but the parents seem like they are trying to do the right thing. I'm assuming they know about the reason for your brother's difficulty in making friends. I know it's a lot to ask of you, but a short thank you note to the parents would be very much appreciated, and will keep them on your brother's side. They seem like decent enough people that they would even have a conversation with their kids about the situation. You never know, maybe the kids could even become "protectors" at school. Good luck!

Your brother is very lucky to have you as a brother.

My son behaves very much like your brother and has gotten himself into similar situations - some even worse. Believe it or not - his friends continue to be his friends. They go a few days without talking... but then everyone seems to forget about it. Our neighbors kids have noticed that my son can be annoying and inflexible. At times they've told him they're annoyed and don't want to play - and they've even had arguments. I am constantly surprised when a day later, they are knocking on the door asking my son if he can play! They have even bonded, somewhat. Once, even though my son was being annoying - his friends came to his defense when a new kid joined the group and was not being very nice.

So, you may be surprised. It sounds like your neighbors are quite understanding about your brothers challenges and don't judge him harshly. Perhaps the kids won't even talk about it at school - they may be more understanding than you think.

The flip side to that question is, why can't people resist trying to put him into situations that will be challenging for him?

He needs to approach the concept of friendship in his own time and space, in his own way. It may never happen, but it is what it is. Just having him at the home of a family that accepts him gives him an opportunity for social interaction that he might not otherwise have. The opportunity is going to have be enough; he will have to decide, eventually, what to do or not do with it.

He is lucky to have so many people around him that care, but all of you also need to remember there are limits to what he can handle and when.

I have two 11yo boys that would talk about Lego all day long!! They would love to have a friend as obsessed with it as they are (they do have 1 or two who are almost there).

I hope J can find a friend that shares his interests, because there are those kids out there, but like DW said, in his own time.

Trust me. I already wrote them an apology e-mail.

On another note, I really just worry about him. At 14 years old he seems more oblivious than I did when it comes to the social world. He really is in his own head. And tries to bring people into his head. Sadly, this doesn't work so well sometimes.

Actually, I wrote this thread more out of anger after the fact of it happening. But the kids did come over and apologize. Which was good, I was glad. I'm just hoping my brother can see more of the world.

He's frustrated enough with the goings on in the house. He's still not over mom and dad's divorce. And I just want whats best for everybody and especially him.

I think one of the things needs to be him learning himself when something is likely to be a bad idea. If I got invited over to play a multiplayer game at any point in my childhood, no matter how much I enjoyed the game I would have known full well that I don't have the skills to engage in "team work" of that nature and either declined the invitation or emotionally prepared myself for the fact that this wasn't going to be a fun experience, it was going to involve exiting from the game as gracefully as possible without looking an idiot.

My brother can be very eager and easibly excitedable.

I remember you rocking a lot like that, DW.