Odd experience

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all_white
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25 Mar 2011, 8:54 pm

mra1200 wrote:

This is true love, that you love her so much that you want her to be happy - even if she is with someone else.

People always say that, don't they?

It gets on my nerves.

Theoretically, I suppose it's true. But I don't enjoy theoretical love. I enjoy real, impulsive, passionate love. The kind that makes you jealous.

I mean, if the person you loved with all your heart was getting married to someone else, wouldn't you at least try and get her back? Wouldn't you run into the church at the point where the minister is saying "let them speak now, or forever hold their peace" and shout: "No! Stop! I love you more than he does! He's just a sap!"

If she still said no, that would be the time to shrug and move on. But wanting someone to be happy and wanting them to be happy with you are two different things.

CrinklyCrustacean
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25 Mar 2011, 10:09 pm

all_white wrote:

mra1200 wrote:

This is true love, that you love her so much that you want her to be happy - even if she is with someone else.

Maybe you're both right in a way? Supposedly if you're truly in love then the other person's happiness is more important to you than your own, but OTOH, if the person you loved with all your heart was marrying someone else then you'd probably feel intense bitterness as well as intense jealousy, so maybe there'd be a kind of a conflict between all three emotions?

sport
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01 May 2020, 9:08 am

I always had somewhat odd feeling when it came to female teachers but my mom was really gentle.I got somewhat sucked in on 1st marriage and after a few yrs she said the grass was greener on the other side.I met a wonderful woman then tested and found out that I had autism with side effects but she has taken everything in stride and helps me a lot.

martianprincess
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06 May 2020, 3:53 pm

CrinklyCrustacean wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

You love her.

I admit I don't want to feel this way about her, but I don't see how I can be in love with her already. She isn't the centre of my world and I don't think about her every second of every day. When she talked about having a boyfriend someday I didn't get jealous because somebody else would have her, but rather because she was likely to have a partner before I will. If I truly loved her right now, wouldn't these things be the other way around? :huh:

No, that would be infatuation. It sounds like you genuinely care about her, which is healthy and love develops from that kind of stable feeling.

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quite an extreme
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