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starry123
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24 Mar 2011, 2:53 pm

Hey everyone, I have been thinking about going to get tested but am kinda feeling scared about it because I dont want them to laugh at me because I think I have it. I hope you read this and can you tell me if you can relate to it and if I should go get tested. Anyways, I was diagnosed in the past as having social anxiety and cognitive disorder NOS.
I never felt like I related to social anxiety descriptions so I never felt like they got it right. A few weeks ago in Psychology we read about aspergers and I was thinking OMG that sounds like me. I have never looked into or read about aspergers before and I have never related to something I read so much before. I am going to list the things that I feel I can most relate to starting from when i was younger until now(age 23) Sorry if this is long but it would be nice for someone to actually read it for me to get it out.

Social:
In elementary school I was really shy and quiet but I was in a group of 5 friends that stuck together from kindergarten to 6th grade so I wasnt friendless. In middle school and high school i had no friends except a few that lived in my neighborhood and they were all younger. Now, in college I have one friend. I find it hard to relate to people.

Routine and change:
I have to have routines. I get annoyed and disorientated if there is no schedule or routine. I have always been like this since I was little. My mom would get frustrated and still does these days. I also hate change and always have.

Clothing:
OMG I have a love/hate relationship with clothes. Ever since I was young I would be very picky with clothing and I couldnt wear certain clothing. My mom says I used to cry when she tried to get me to wear clothes that I couldnt wear. If have always had a closet full of clothes but will get hooked on certain outfits and wear them over and over. I am still like this. I only have two pairs of jeans that I will wear...I hate jeans...I hate the texture and feel of stiff or hard jeans. I like soft ones though and I have only found two. One has started to tear because I have had them for yearrss but I refuse to throw them away. I have also found a way to wear different shirts...I have a tank top that I can be comfortable with and I wear in under every shirt so that has helped me wear different shirts.

Sounds/ sights/textures/patterns
I have always been sensitive to the sun. People always think I am mad cuz I squint when around any type of sun. Certain sounds are overwhelming and they make me reallly mad.
I cant stand using metal forks or spoons. I use plastic ones. I cant stand cotton or wool blankets..the cotton balls that come off of it drive me crazzzyy. With patterns..I notice them and look for them and it calms me down and let me forget about what I am thinking about at the moment. Right now I have a weird obsession with striped clothing. Its all that catches my eye right now and I like looking at them...lol. For sounds I cant handle high pitched voices, loud tv, loud voices, room full of running and yelling kids or loud music I dont like. Sounds I do like are..bass in music..they calm me down and make me happy, repetitive sounds in music, water or ocean sounds and wooden wind chimes..thats all I can think of right now.

Other random things
- I feel, act and look younger than my age
-When I was younger I was obsessed with a purple jacket and would wear in summer all day. My mom had to throw it away.
-I used to like to turn the lights on and off and just watch it. I stopped when my mom noticed it and thought it was weird.
-I space out alot and stare at patterns or think
-I get obsessed with learning things and it will change all the time. I read nonstop all day about it and that is all i think and want to talk about and then after a few weeks it goes away.
-Have bad short term memory but good long term
-I am always told I lack empathy and people think I dont care about them because I dont cry or show any emotions for sad things. Most things dont phase me but when it does I dont know how to show it. I care sooo much about others but I cant show it well so I usually do it in physical ways..like making my mom coffee or doing things for them. I almost lost my only close friend because he said I lack empathy. I agree I am not like everyone empathy wise but I am not a complete robot even though I seem like it but I just cant show how I feel. I often have to fake it.

Why i dont think I have aspergers:
-I know kids usually are not close to their parents when they were younger but I was super attached to my mom.. I would cry everyday to have to go to school up until 2nd grade. Never spent the night at anyones house when I was a kid.
-I never flapped my hand or anything like that but I always bite on the sides of my mouth . I like to making drumming sounds with my hand all the time and I like to run my fingers over the top of my hands all the time...it calms me down. I used to like the feel of the carpet and would rub my hands on it until my hand got all tingly or drag my face along the carpet when I was younger.
-I think I can read peoples non verbal cues pretty well now but not when I was younger.
-I suckkk at math
-I feel like I am not that smart because I cant focus or learn things I am not interested in and it takes me a loong time to learn and retain new info.

wow..im weird haha


Okkkaayy im tired of typing .I hope someone read this..if u do..u win a cookie :) Anyone relate or think i should get tested?? :?:



Last edited by starry123 on 25 Mar 2011, 4:20 am, edited 2 times in total.

Louise18
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24 Mar 2011, 3:19 pm

I think you probably would be told you have AS if you were tested. I don't think you should get tested. There is nothing out there to help you, and t can stigmatise you out of jobs etc.

Stick around a while and if you relate to people here, and it's helpful stay. If not move on. Having an AS diagnosis won't help.



starry123
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24 Mar 2011, 3:21 pm

one thing I have to add is I can totally be myself when I am around certain family members and cousins because they accept my habits and immaturity but at school I tend to shut down and become drone like until someone talks to me but still the conversations never lead to friendships



starry123
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24 Mar 2011, 3:26 pm

thanks for reading louise :) I can def relate to alot of things on here so I plan to stick around :) the only reason I would want to get tested is because I just want to kno why I feel so different from everyone n finding out I guess will kind of cause me to stress over it all less...i dunno.



starry123
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24 Mar 2011, 3:31 pm

thanks for reading louise :) I can def relate to alot of things on here so I plan to stick around :) the only reason I would want to get tested is because I just want to kno why I feel so different from everyone n finding out I guess will kind of cause me to stress over it all less...i dunno.



walterb
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24 Mar 2011, 5:37 pm

I'm new at this forum too, and I have almost exactly the same symptoms and doubts about being an aspie or not. I'd like if I could get diagnosed because for a long time I tried to fight these things, and couldn't, but having a diagnosis would mean I didn't really fail, it's not entirely my fault, and it would help me to know what is the problem with me so I can get the best out of it. I think you should test yourself, and with this AS or wathever diagnosis you'll get, you can find best fitting solution to your problems. Only reason I'm not getting tested is that if I go to the psychologist and he/she will offer some treatment, I don't want to trouble my parents with paying for it, because we are not really good financially at the moment. And there's that I fear from the uncertain situations, like going to a psychologist. Oh and if you do get tested, please inform me how it went :)



starry123
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24 Mar 2011, 8:40 pm

Hi walterb :) you dont have insurance? I agree with you too...I would feel like I am not just a complete weirdo. I am still deciding whether or not to try to get diagnosed. Im still waiting to hear from others also who have it to see if they can relate or think there might a possibility that I have it also.



starry123
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24 Mar 2011, 8:42 pm

lol I took all the tests from the sticky...not sure how they compare to others scores..

Your result for The Broad Autism Phenotype Test
Autistic/BAP
You scored 112 aloof, 129 rigid and 101 pragmatic
You scored above the cutoff on all three scales. Clearly, you are either autistic or on the broader autistic phenotype. You probably are not very social, and when you do interact with others, you come off as strange or rude without meaning to. You probably also like things to be familiar and predictable and don't like changes, especially unexpected ones.



AQ Test
Score: 32


EQ and SQ tests
Respondent Average EQ Average SQ Brain Type
Males 39.0 61.2 Systemizing
Females 48.0 51.7 Empathizing
Your Score 16 64 Extreme Systemizing

Emotional IQ
Self-report Component
Subscale IQ score = 63
Subscale percentile = 1
According to your self-report answers, your emotional intelligence is very poor. People who score like you do feel that they have trouble dealing with their own emotions and those of others. They struggle to overcome difficulties in their lives and they are unable to control their moods. It's hard for them to understand how best to motivate themselves and reach their goals. In addition, they find social interactions quite difficult, for several reasons. They may have trouble allowing themselves to get close with others, finding it difficult to be vulnerable enough to establish intimacy. They also report having trouble offering support to others, likely due to the fact that they do not understand where others are coming from or they lack ideas about how best to help. Perhaps by working on your problem areas, you can become more confident in dealing with your own emotions and those of others.

HSP test
You have indicated that 23 of the items are true of you
Scoring:
If you answered more than fourteen of the questions as true of yourself, you are probably highly sensitive

Understanding facial expression test
Your score: 27
A typical score is in the range 22-30. If you scored over 30,
you are very accurate at decoding a person's facial expressions
around their eyes. A score under 22 indicates you find this quite difficult.

Face blindness test
Out of 72 faces, you correctly identified 55.
In other words, you got 76% correct.

Aspie Quiz
Your Aspie score: 145 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 63 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie



starry123
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25 Mar 2011, 4:22 am

bump. Edited it because it was ridiculously long and i dont think anyone wanted to read that much



richie_uk
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25 Mar 2011, 9:30 am

You scored 118 aloof, 111 rigid and 105 pragmatic
You scored above the cutoff on all three scales. Clearly, you are either autistic or on the broader autistic phenotype.

Starry123 Which country are you in ? I know in the uk, more help is available once a dx has been made for autism/aspergers, which is why I'd like to get dx myself.

Interesting tests, I can't say I'd seen them, though you have helped me kill lots of time today :-)



starry123
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25 Mar 2011, 1:44 pm

Hi richie, I live in the U.S. I am not sure what help is here..I have just been researching it and trying to figure out if I actually might have this or not..I dont want to see a doctor and have them just think I am some kind of hypochondriac or making a ridiculous assumption...I always second guess myself but every time I read about it or on when Im on here I can relate..ugh i dunno.
Oh and yea haha all those tests helped me kill lots of time yesterday too!



walterb
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25 Mar 2011, 3:24 pm

starry123 wrote:
Hi walterb :) you dont have insurance? I agree with you too...I would feel like I am not just a complete weirdo. I am still deciding whether or not to try to get diagnosed. Im still waiting to hear from others also who have it to see if they can relate or think there might a possibility that I have it also.


I don't think insurance covers the psychologist at least not in my country, sadly :(
but I scored about 150-160 points at my aspie test too, but I still don't know what to think because aspies portrayed on tv are really seem autistic, and I don't seem to seem so autistic, but I can really much relate to people here, and I know I have something, I just can't figure out what else this could be... So I think we are in a very similar situation here... Ah I'm tired, I don't know what to write anymore...



starry123
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25 Mar 2011, 5:18 pm

Ohh yea health care sucks sometimes :/ I agree with me not seeming that way in person either but I have seen a few videos of people who had it on youtube who seem totally normal. Its not until they explain their behaviors or thoughts that you can see they have it.



walterb
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25 Mar 2011, 5:58 pm

starry123 wrote:
Ohh yea health care sucks sometimes :/ I agree with me not seeming that way in person either but I have seen a few videos of people who had it on youtube who seem totally normal. Its not until they explain their behaviors or thoughts that you can see they have it.


well that's true, maybe they overdramatize the films about asperger's, or there are more or less autistic aspies, but this really confuses me... There's an official criteria and tests for it, but still I just can't see what this syndrome really is... I mean when I look around, I see a lot of people who could meet the criteria who are a lot introverted, and "geeky", but that doesn't mean they all have asperger's. Like I could show these symptoms just because I don't like talking to people, and I'm staying home all the time surfing the net, and stuff... Psychology is a very complicated field, and maybe it doesn't really matter what we call it, we are just different... I think the best way is going to an ordinary psychologists for a counseling without telling them that you suspect you have asperger's, just telling them what bothers you, and they will figure it out.... Because if you are thinking it is a problem, then you really have a problem, and it's the best to ask a professional for help.