did I develop asperger's or is it just being antisocial?

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albertwesker
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26 Mar 2011, 2:44 pm

I recently started therapy and my therapist thinks that I have asperger's mostly because I don't easily make friends and can't seem to build relationships with anybody, I've never had a girlfriend or a date even though people (mostly family and people old enough to be my parent ) tell me I look like a model

I was pretty popular until about 9th grade, then I became antisocial because I was sick of peoples BS and everybody seemed to get into drinking, cigarrettes and drugs

I had no interest in those things

I was bold enough to be a class clown growing up and was friends with the star athletes and cheerleaders, but I seemingly became more shy and withdrawn as I reached high school

i was very small for my age and was always teased about my lack of size, this made me very angry and bitter so I think I forced myself into isolation so i wouldn't be teased anymore, I also became obsessed with bodybuilding to compensate for my small size

now I'm in my late 20's and I think I've paid the price for being antisocial, I only have one friend and he's just like me, I don't seem to relate with anybody these days and I have major trust issues, being into bodybuilding doesn't fit in with most people that like to drink to have fun

so did I develop asperger's over time or am I just insecure and withdrawn due to childhood trauma? I fit in better than most until high school, but now I fit in with almost nobody



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26 Mar 2011, 2:51 pm

Aspergers is a genetic condition affecting neurological structures. One cannot "develop it," one is born with it. It can be diagnosed by symptoms evident at an early age.

It sounds like you became antisocial.


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Zen
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26 Mar 2011, 2:53 pm

I don't know, because I've been ostracized my whole life. But I have heard other people say that their symptoms didn't manifest until they hit puberty. That's apparently the time when being different really starts to stand out.

Being obsessed with bodybuilding could definitely count as a special interest. Do you relate to any of the other common issues?



albertwesker
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26 Mar 2011, 3:02 pm

I feel I'm only obsesssed with bodybuilding because my size was constantly ridiculed, if I looked normal as a child I would have no interest in it whatsoever, maybe I'd go to the gym to workout like many people do but it wouldn't be the most important thing in the world to me if I grew up normal height

as for any other special interests, I have a large movie and video game collection, does that count as a special interest? though I feel my collections are to help fill the void of lonliness

you mentioned puberty as the time when being different stands out, well I'd say that's exactly when I didn't fit in, I didn't have any pubic hair until I was about 14 in 8th grade



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26 Mar 2011, 3:05 pm

You're born with it. You can't develop it.


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albertwesker
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26 Mar 2011, 3:10 pm

so you think I was too "normal" as a child to be an aspy?



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26 Mar 2011, 3:17 pm

A point - you are not antisocial, you are associal.



albertwesker
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26 Mar 2011, 3:21 pm

what do you mean?



anbuend
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26 Mar 2011, 3:21 pm

ZeroGravitas wrote:
Aspergers is a genetic condition affecting neurological structures. One cannot "develop it," one is born with it. It can be diagnosed by symptoms evident at an early age.

It sounds like you became antisocial.


True, but lots of autistic people think they were a lot more successful than they are, as well as the fact that there are people who (when not looked at really closely) are diagnosable with AS, whose traits didn't become super-obvious until high school. So it's not common, but it's not totally impossible either.


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26 Mar 2011, 3:33 pm

For the most part I was like most people in elementary school. It wasn't until junior high when it hit me. What other aspie traits do you have? If you don't have any of them, you are probably just asocial.



albertwesker
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26 Mar 2011, 3:34 pm

anbuend wrote:
ZeroGravitas wrote:
Aspergers is a genetic condition affecting neurological structures. One cannot "develop it," one is born with it. It can be diagnosed by symptoms evident at an early age.

It sounds like you became antisocial.


True, but lots of autistic people think they were a lot more successful than they are, as well as the fact that there are people who (when not looked at really closely) are diagnosable with AS, whose traits didn't become super-obvious until high school. So it's not common, but it's not totally impossible either.


define "success" as a child

I went over friends houses, I was one of the first ones picked in gym class, i made the kids laugh by being a class clown, the pretty girls were friendly with me, the most popular guy in our grade came over my house several times just to hang out, i volunteered to read in class and do speeches for extra credit, i went to amusement parks with popular guys, i was invited to a few of the "cool kids" parties

i think the only thing i didn't achieve as a child was a girlfriend

i was never picked on for being the "outcast" or a "nerd", I was picked on for being smaller than everybody else, it wasn't really bullying it was just teasing that really started to bother me after about 8 years or so

than high school came around, I no longer fit in with the cool people and was somewhat content with being alone because nobody was calling me "little man" or "midget" anymore

I also became too shy to read in class and volunteer to do speeches



albertwesker
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26 Mar 2011, 3:40 pm

SammichEater wrote:
For the most part I was like most people in elementary school. It wasn't until junior high when it hit me. What other aspie traits do you have? If you don't have any of them, you are probably just asocial.


I love routine and get a little upset if things aren't going according to plan

i mentioned my consuming hobby and interest bodybuilding, though like i said i think it's the result of childhood trauma

I seem to have a very poor sense of smell, though I don't think I have any other sensory issues

I'm am uninterested in most people, but I feel that is because they made me feel like s**t as a kid, I've always been easily
entertained by myself

i'm very sensitive to criticism, is this an asperger's trait?

my main issues are social issues, i don't think people dislike me but nobody seems to want to hang out with me, talk to me on the phone, and nobody really asks any questions about me as a person



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26 Mar 2011, 3:42 pm

Someone who deliberately rejects social contact because he finds it boring/annoying would generally be diagnosed with something like schizoid personality, which is basically a medical name for extreme introversion. This would be assuming that there is an actual reason to diagnose anything at all, since you don't label somebody with a disorder unless there's some kind of significant impairment.

But it's not impossible that your social skills were low all along, and you just didn't "hit a wall" until high school. Most AS kids hit a wall around first grade; kids with speech delays hit the wall in their toddler years--the common theme being that these are times when developmental demands suddenly increase, so that much more is demanded of you than before. Your peers are ready, but you're not, and it looks like you've suddenly "regressed" without actually losing skills at all.


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26 Mar 2011, 3:48 pm

You cannot develop it... but.... for some,, Asperger's is easier to recognize in later childhood than early childhood. I was more social before I was nine or ten, but other children (and the adults around me) merely saw the Aspergian traits as just being part of my personality and it was either tolerated as personality quirks or signs of eccentric giftedness.

However, when I switched schools in the fifth grade, I was exposed to people who were meeting me for the first time and I was no longer a prodigy or a unique individual; I was just a weirdo who did not understand social norms and from that point on I was experiencing what was a more typical childhood for AS people and my traits no doubt became more obvious. In any case, it was not something I chose.

Albertwesker, however, made a conscious desicion not to put up with BS and to then become less social. Personally, I wish I could have made that desicion. But, anyway, if he was socially successful before this decision, then I can't see how it could be Asperger's. I would only buy that as a diagnosis if after many social difficulties he just gave up.


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Last edited by dyingofpoetry on 28 Mar 2011, 7:41 am, edited 1 time in total.

antonblock
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26 Mar 2011, 4:22 pm

i use the following (deep down) critera for deciding if someone is AS:

- first, have there been any anormality when been a small child? - speech delay? motor skills deficits? keep quiet most time etc.?

- do you have very high moral standards? (always thinking of "if all people would do ..."?)

- are you emotionally very sensitive?

x when nervous, do you do eye contact, or not?

- are you very sensitive on sensory level? - i noted that very late for me, but some hints here:

x do you hardly smell anything? (e.g. you used deodorants very late?)
x are you very picky with your food?
x can't you concentrate when there is some little noise?

- do you have motor skills deficits?

x bad in dancing?


thats my person AS test hehe :)

anton



albertwesker
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26 Mar 2011, 4:34 pm

I don't think I learned how to properly pronounce words that started with a "th" until 3rd grade

for example I pronounced the word "three" by saying "free"

i write very sloppy

high moral standards? i'm not sure, I do feel that if everybody treated people the way they would want to be treated the world would be better, is that high moral standards?

I am emotionally sensitive, I greatly fear rejection

i used deodorants late but I think that has to do with being a late bloomer

I'm not picky with food, though I do try to eat healthy and low calorie but i'm not above eating junk

i have trouble concentrating with noise

dancing? i'm pretty sure i would need lessons to be good at it, i always thought people looked stupid doing it so i don't know if i could ever be comfortbale dancing

i'm at least average athletically