Asperger's syndrome diagnosis- how can I tell my mother?

Post Reply New Topic

Hello, I am a relatively new member.
I am 14 and a girl, and am pretty sure I have AS. A year's worth of research and documentary watching did it, I think.

I have tried several times to talk to my mother (my only close relation) about this, however, she has dismissed AS as a label given to normal people who want attention.

I can't go a to a school consellor- mine doesn't have one. I am new at my school so there are no teachers I am close to.

So my question is this- how do I begin the conversation with my mother regarding my suspicians?
I can't just go up to her and randomly say- "Mum, can you take me to the doctor who might be able to assess me for asperger's?"
Do I write a letter? What do I do?

Anyone been in this situation and resolved it?

This thread is for anyone who wants to either answer my question or talk about diagnosis.

Thank you

Have you considered switching to telling her you have these symptoms you need to see someone about?

I agree with that suggestion. That way, nobody gets hurt.

Yes - if your parents won't accept that Asperger's syndrome is a real diagnosis at all, it probably won't be constructive to use the term. Perhaps you could start out by doing what others have suggested - explaining that you have some symptoms and you need to find some solutions for them.
(Of course, you are not necessarily looking for "solutions" - far be it from me to declare that you are - but if you pinpoint problems that are actually impacting something your parents care about, like academic progress, and state that you want to improve on that thing they care about, they may be friendlier toward the idea than if you just say you need to see someone. You've said that they're predisposed to thinking that people "just want attention," so it's best to have something concrete to which you can point, so that they don't assume you are just in it for attention.)

Following that, you may be able to discuss this particular problem with whatever professional you see - I mean, the fact that your parents don't accept the existence of the diagnosis. They may have their minds more effectively changed if someone with professional qualifications explains exactly what the diagnosis means, its strengths and weaknesses, and the ways in which you meet these purely academic (i.e., no value judgment) criteria for diagnosis.

I would usually start difficult conversations like this with something like, "Hey Mom, I've got something real important to talk to you about." That was usually enough for her to give me her full attention, and then I'd just take a deep breath and let it all out. I often found it easiest to talk about stuff like this during a car ride.

Thank to everyone who has helped so far