Us vs. Them: NT's vs Aspies/Auties

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draelynn
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30 Mar 2011, 5:41 pm

Bombaloo wrote:

draelynn wrote:

Many aspies have led lives full of bullying, rejection, misunderstanding, verbal abuse, emotional abuse not only by family but by people they thought were 'friends', business collegues, random people on the street... 'Once bitten, twice shy' is apropo but really it is like being bitten for years on end by almost everyone you've ever met. It cn make you bitter and jaded and angry. In tolerance of injustice is one of aspie traits that many seem to share - and when it is applied to themselves, over and over again.. it could harden anyone's heart.

I hope no one takes this in the wrong way, I ask it as a question I really want to know the answer to, not in a snarky way at all. Is it an Aspie/Autie trait to generalize one or maybe a few bad experiences to every future encounter?

I believe it is. Reading through the posts it seems it can be a definite challenge for some.

In this case, I'm 'cliff noting' my observations of the posts here as well as my own experience. Generalizing is a bad habit of mine... I've always done this when I'm trying to make a point. Sorry. I quite honestly do not know how to not do this when expressing myself. :oops:

Moog
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30 Mar 2011, 6:05 pm

Bombaloo wrote:

You make it sound as though it only happens once or twice. If it's almost every single encounter with humans that is difficult and unpleasant, why would we have any reason to expect things to be otherwise?

One or two swallows don't make a summer. Billions do.

And on NT bashing, I'm not surprised that some do. It's not right, but I find it understandable.

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Last edited by Moog on 30 Mar 2011, 6:09 pm, edited 1 time in total.

ElementalChaos
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30 Mar 2011, 6:09 pm

I'm an NT and have never mistreated or harmed an Aspie or autistic person ever in my life. In fact one of my friends has Aspergers.

There's two kinds of NTs, the douchebags and the caring and helpful types. I am the latter.

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jmnixon95
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30 Mar 2011, 6:25 pm

ElementalChaos wrote:

I'm an NT and have never mistreated or harmed an Aspie or autistic person ever in my life. In fact one of my friends has Aspergers.

There's two kinds of NTs, the douchebags and the caring and helpful types. I am the latter.

Pretty sure there are more than two types of NTs, young one.

Joe90
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02 Apr 2011, 3:15 pm

I've learnt to adapt to the NT world because I have been brought up in an NT family, and went to mainstream school and mixed with NTs then, and now I work with mostly NTs (although I have met some people who I wondered might have some neurological condition, but even then I'm not sure. There is such a thing as being a strange NT). But generally, I have been squashed up by NTs every day of my life, and so I had two choices: learn to mingle in with them or be lonely the rest of my life. I chose to mingle in with them, since I've always hated loneliness. It hasn't always worked: kids at school made me feel left out, people have always noticed my stupid vibes what I unintentionally give out. But other than that, I have learnt to put on an NT front, although it does stress me out sometimes and I do make some mistakes. But I can't really sit here dwelling on intolerance and ignorance all my life, as much as I hate being the only one with AS out of the whole of my family.

But NTs aren't all that socially perfect. I have an NT friend, but he fancies me so bad. I don't fancy him back (he's just not my type), so all I want to do is stay friends with him, and I have told him this. But he seems to think that I fancy him, and keeps on and on texting me, non-stop, asking me to arrange a night to be in his bed with him. I keep on telling him that I'm his friend, but I don't have the heart to tell him that I don't fancy him and don't want his sexual relationship, because he might take it personally and get hurt. He is the type of person to take things personally, which I have established with him in the past year that I have known him. Once I texted him saying that I have been hunting for jobs around the airport (since me and him work at the same place but only voluntary, so we're both looking for work), and he got really nasty with me and said, ''oh if you really don't want to be anywhere near me I will give up the voluntary work right now!!'' And I was like, what the hell?! I'm claiming job-seekers, I am supposed to be actively looking for work, and yet everything I do with my life is ''his fault'', when it is nothing to do with him. He must understand that I do have a life. And it's because of all this is why I don't want a relationship with him - I don't want to end up with someone who gets nasty at everything I do with my life. But anyway, back to the fancy thing - he hasn't seemed to picked up the signals from me that I don't fancy him and that I only want to be friends, and also I want a bit of space. I've been round his for a friendly chat, (nothing else), and I've been texting him only saying, ''how are you?'', and so I have not given out any signs that I want a romantic relationship with him at all - I just know I haven't. I may be an Aspie, but I do know what the difference is between friendship and love, and if I don't have any feelings for a man then I naturally don't show any. I don't mind being friends with him, and that is what I'm doing. He's friends with other women too, and they do the same to him as I do, which is go round his for tea and a chat, and text him now and again, but he doesn't seem to be asking them out or anything, and I know that because I know some of his women friends. But I think I'm the sensible one in all this, and he's just being a bit inconsiderate of my feelings, and he only wants me for one thing anyway, which is very selfish of him.....

And they say Aspies are the ones who come across as inconsiderate and selfish and not sensible! I think NTs can be just as bad - especially when it comes to relationships and desperation.

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daspie
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06 Apr 2011, 9:20 am

Joe90 wrote:

But NTs aren't all that socially perfect. I have an NT friend, but he fancies me so bad. I don't fancy him back (he's just not my type), so all I want to do is stay friends with him, and I have told him this. But he seems to think that I fancy him, and keeps on and on texting me, non-stop, asking me to arrange a night to be in his bed with him.

Since he knows you from quite some time and he is also NT he has picked up your difference and just see you as an easy woman. Try to cut-off your friendship with him in a slow pace.

Last edited by daspie on 06 Apr 2011, 11:42 pm, edited 1 time in total.

League_Girl
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06 Apr 2011, 2:25 pm

ElementalChaos wrote:

I'm an NT and have never mistreated or harmed an Aspie or autistic person ever in my life. In fact one of my friends has Aspergers.

There's two kinds of NTs, the douchebags and the caring and helpful types. I am the latter.

If you have ever been mean to someone who you thought was odd or rude and an outcast and seemed strange, chances are you may have been mean to one, even if you didn't realize they had it. But since you have a friend with it, you are less likely to be mean to one without even knowing it because you'd be considering they could have a disorder.

Beabe
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07 Apr 2011, 10:02 am

Honestly. I don't see an us and them. I just see people. No one is perfect mentally. Everyones brains are wired differently and everyone has different personalities. Just because people have autism or are NT it doesn't mean our personalities are set in stone and here is only black and white. Everyone is different and being different is the most common thing out there. Its not just us that are different from them or visa versa everybody is different. Thats what I believe anyway.

pascalflower
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07 Apr 2011, 10:24 am

MyWorld wrote:

I noticed that on WP there is a lot of NT bashing. There are, however, a lot of posts that are very supportive. Why are people so hostile towards NT's? I know you might have encountered some unpleasant people (who wasn't) along the way in your life, but your negativity is not gonna make you friends. I don't lump all NT's in group group as as*holes and b*****s and I have found some good people in my life. So why it there so much towards NT's as a whole group from some?

The easiest cognitive process is to see a bias, when one disagrees with it. The hardest cognitive process, is to see a bias when one accepts it wholeheartedly. You're not seeing anything unusual at all on WP, you're seeing society through other people's eyes. The same way of looking at things will be evident in just about any forum primarily of a minority viewpoint.

---- A bee sting, is still a bee sting,if it stings another bee.

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