Us vs. Them: NT's vs Aspies/Auties
MyWorld
Deinonychus
Joined: 12 Nov 2008
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 320
Location: I'm in ur kitchenz, eatin ur foodz
I noticed that on WP there is a lot of NT bashing. There are, however, a lot of posts that are very supportive. Why are people so hostile towards NT's? I know you might have encountered some unpleasant people (who wasn't) along the way in your life, but your negativity is not gonna make you friends. I don't lump all NT's in group group as as*holes and b*****s and I have found some good people in my life. So why it there so much towards NT's as a whole group from some?
I am an NT as far as I know, however, I suspect that a lot of people with Autism or Asperger's have been misjudged by NTs and possibly discriminated against by them. As an NT who suffers from such severe social anxiety that I am in receipt of disability and am unable to work due my not being able to cope with the social aspects of working I, myself, have suffered much bullying and discrimination from people.
However I try to remain open minded and accepting and prefer to see people as different rather than dysfunctional, abnormal or wrong.
I do have moments where I think some people are sods though!
I don't think I bash the neurologicly typical people but I can understand why some people would. Some people have never met people with a smidge of kindness toward them (NT and Aspie/Autie alike) and I think this causes people to get really angry because they can see kindness shown to others and not to them.
We get rejected for not fitting socially and sometimes we are bullied, it is possible that resentment stems from seeing NT's appear to fine socially and appear happy (even though they could be faking every second that we see).
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I'm female but I have a boyfriend.
PM's welcome.
Well, this is, technically, a support group. People come here to vent and to simply be heard. Everything is not going to be positive and clean and complimentary... just as they wouldn't be on any number of NT boards.
People question why a women in an abusive relationship doesn't just leave her abuser. People just can;t put themselves in a womens mental headspace - the one where she has been conditioned, threatened, emotionally and physically battered to the point where she isn't even capable of making a decision for self preservation over what she is going through. The concept of that sort of mental dysfunction is so alien to people - they just can't wrap their brain around the possibility of that sort of thinking - that they actually get angry with that women for 'being stupid'.
Many aspies have led lives full of bullying, rejection, misunderstanding, verbal abuse, emotional abuse not only by family but by people they thought were 'friends', business collegues, random people on the street... 'Once bitten, twice shy' is apropo but really it is like being bitten for years on end by almost everyone you've ever met. It cn make you bitter and jaded and angry. In tolerance of injustice is one of aspie traits that many seem to share - and when it is applied to themselves, over and over again.. it could harden anyone's heart.
Not all Aspies have had such bleak experiences in their life - but many have. You'll find both here. People are open and honest about their experiences and it's amazing that they have a place to let those feelings be heard - and even confirmed by the like minded. That's something many have NEVER experienced in real life. Being positive and friendly sure hasn't helped me any. It has helped make me a doormat at times though... abusers can recognize a mark from miles away. More caution on my part when I was younger would have saved me worlds of humiliation, pain and rejection. I now, clearly fall in the 'jaded' category. I do not have much faith in us as a species - all neurology aside.
Take it all with a grain of salt. A thicker skin wouldn't hurt either. A generalized rant about 'NT's' is rarely personal and even those making such rants will tell you they wouldn't necessarily discriminate against a person until they gave them reason to do so. And if if someone irrationally hates all NT's - that's ok too. Opposition is necessary in order to clarify one's own perspective.
To each his own.
All I know are NTs, so I don't see it so much as "us vs. them" but rather "me vs. the world". To complain about NTs in general is the same to me as complaining about people in general (which I admit I sometimes do). I'm uncomfortable myself making generalizations on NTs specifically, because then I'm doing the exact same thing that I hate having done to me.
At first I really cringed and was angered by the generalization I read in some posts here, it sure seems like racism of a slightly different sort. We are all individuals after all. I don't think the Aspies and Auties here want people to generalize and put all people with ASDs into the same group. But then I came to realize something at least similar to the above and I don't take it personally.
I hope no one takes this in the wrong way, I ask it as a question I really want to know the answer to, not in a snarky way at all. Is it an Aspie/Autie trait to generalize one or maybe a few bad experiences to every future encounter?
I've just searched this threads title and while there are similar threads, I think they're sufficently different than this one. This thread seems to me to be about "why are we giving out about NT's so much?".
_________________
I'm female but I have a boyfriend.
PM's welcome.
I try to avoid lumping all NT's together, but in my experience there are 4 general types of people, and people are usually in more than one of them: the rude ones, the ignorant ones, the well meaning/nice ones and the intelligent ones. Many of the NTs that have bullied those of us with Aspergers or Autism belong to one or both of the first groups. I personally think that most of the Aspies who bash NT's don't mean to bash every NT, but those who belong to the first groups.
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Dance like no one is watching. Sing like no one is listening. Love like you've never been hurt and live like it's heaven on Earth. -Mark Twain
If life gives you lemons, make grape juice, sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it.
I think this is a human trait in general. If you have enough bad experiences you will start to assume that its simply the way things are. You may not even assume everyone is a bully, but still always be on alert because it seems like there are plenty of them and you don't know when the next one is coming along.
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When God made me He didn't use a mold. I'm FREEHAND baby!
The road to my hell is paved with your good intentions.
I've just searched this threads title and while there are similar threads, I think they're sufficently different than this one.
Yeah.
Anyways, I don't really understand why some people bash them on this site, either. I mean, I understand that many of us have been treated horribly and have been abused by them, but in the end, by reciprocating the harsh behavior and words, we're being the hypocritical ones.
I don't really "hate" any NTs; I strongly dislike some, but I strongly dislike several Aspies as well.
I hope no one takes this in the wrong way, I ask it as a question I really want to know the answer to, not in a snarky way at all. Is it an Aspie/Autie trait to generalize one or maybe a few bad experiences to every future encounter?
I believe it is. Reading through the posts it seems it can be a definite challenge for some.
In this case, I'm 'cliff noting' my observations of the posts here as well as my own experience. Generalizing is a bad habit of mine... I've always done this when I'm trying to make a point. Sorry. I quite honestly do not know how to not do this when expressing myself.
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