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Rifter
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01 Apr 2011, 6:57 am

I was just recently diagnosed with AS.

Holy good god it was a relief to find out. I had never heard about it prior to a few weeks ago. I've been called a lot of things my entire life - stuck up, self-involved, a freak... you name it.

It was nice to finally find out that everything I had been through in life wasn't unique to me, that there was a name for it and that I wasn't the person everyone had always thought I was (even though I knew it all along).

I guess my question is... ok great... now what? Finding out I have something rather than I 'am' something has changed my view on what and who I am but it hasn't changed any of the issues that I still face.

Is there hope? Is there something I can do, a medication that has worked, some sort of therapy that can fix (or somewhat ease) this AS thing I have?

My whole life in order to fit in I've always created this fabricated version of myself. 'No, I can't hang out with you, I have to take care of my nephew' (I don't even know if I have a nephew, haven't spoken to my family in years) sort of lies I've told to make myself seem more socially acceptable without having any understanding of why I didn't want to be around anyone else and didn't care if I had close friends. I never knew what was wrong with me and didn't know what AS was and would just give miss-information rather than the truth to make myself seem normal.

Are people accepting of this AS thing? I have managed, over a long time period, to fake my emotional state and seemingly 'fit in.' I actually am the GM of a large first run movie theater which is a job I both love and despise at the same time. I love it when a movie comes out and I'm the only one in the theater lost in that moment for a few hours, despise it when I'm on the floor taking care of the business - but I fake it so well you'd never know. Sure, I seem very odd at times to the people who work for me but I am able to pull it off to the point where they don't (or at least I think they don't) suspect there is anything wrong with me - all the while I'm eaten up on the inside with the horrible guilt of not being who I really am and creating this vastly different visage for our customers and the people I work for and with.

I'm tired of it. I want to tell people - this is who I am, this is why I act the way I do and stop having to fake it. I'm 41 and the thought of changing careers at this point in my life scares the crap out of me. I'm not sure if there's anyone else out there who found out they had AS at such a late stage in life that has any advice but I'd thought I'd take a shot. Thanks.



mikeseagle
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01 Apr 2011, 7:59 am

Hi and Welcome to Wrong Planet :)

I'm 45 and recently came to the realization that I have AS.

It would be nice not to have 'fake' it, but I don't think that will happen with everyone I meet and have to interact with. Some people accept me for what I am and other people will still think me as being weird. So I will still have to fake it to fit in with those people so I can conduct my business and be social.

One nice thing about being here on Wrong Planet, you can be yourself. We understand what it is like and accept you. So feel free to participate in the forums as your normal self :)


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BTDT
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01 Apr 2011, 8:29 am

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

The diagnosis was really late for me--I figured it out first and my wife figured it had a label!

For me, Asperger's meant that there was a lot of stuff I didn't know I was suppose to learn to fit into society, so I didn't learn them into my late 30s and 40s. But, I'm really gifted at learning new stuff, so I just went ahead and learned whatever I though would be useful.



richie
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01 Apr 2011, 11:34 am

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AnonymousAnonymous
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01 Apr 2011, 1:49 pm

Welcome to Wrong Planet!


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01 Apr 2011, 8:57 pm

Welcome to WrongPlanet, Rifter.

As far as are people accepting of AS, I don't know as I'm not dx'ed and so don't mention it by name. But my guess is that most people still probably don't know what it is, and think that "autism" means a stereotypical image of a non-verbal kid rocking in the corner.



Rifter
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01 Apr 2011, 11:09 pm

Thanks for welcomes :D



ghostpawn
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03 Apr 2011, 1:13 am

Sounds more schizoid than AS to me.

Regardless, no reason to feel guilty about it.

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CockneyRebel
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04 Apr 2011, 12:43 pm

Welkome to WrongPlanet. :)

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LankyBrit
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04 Apr 2011, 5:14 pm

Rifter wrote:
I'm tired of it. I want to tell people - this is who I am, this is why I act the way I do and stop having to fake it. I'm 41 and the thought of changing careers at this point in my life scares the crap out of me. I'm not sure if there's anyone else out there who found out they had AS at such a late stage in life that has any advice but I'd thought I'd take a shot. Thanks.


41 here and diagnosed last week, so I'd answer with a resounding 'yup' there. Not sure I can offer too much advice as I'm still getting things straight in my own head, but I know exactly what you mean about wanting to tell everyone. I'm being careful about who I tell for now though, as I'm aware that I have a propensity for trusting too early and sharing too much.

Anyway, welcome to WP, and you're definitely not walking this path alone.


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