Does it matter?

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If you have poor communication skills and do not really know how to interact with somebody meaningfully does that make it impossible to establish a relationship in the dating world?


I have heard aspie guys say they will never have a relationship because they do not know how to carry a conversation

By the way i have moderate or seveare aspergers so that means i have no social skills.

I wouldn't say impossible, but very, VERY unlikely.

I don't know how poor my communication skills are really but my brother says "i cannot really talk to anyone" and that "My communication skills are forced and not natural."

Are poor social skills something you can work on and improve with training?

On the bright side i met an doctor of mine and she was VERY impressed by how much my communication skills had improved and told me so to my face so maybe its not all so bad.

Yes, you can meet someone! I know it is hard for people with AS but the truth is it is hard for everyone. The biggest problem most people face is when they give up hope. If you don't have hope you don't have anything. Good luck!

I think as you get older you have more experience identifying cues and what behaviour to show. I've often read that AS gets milder as you get older but I'd argue that we've just learnt more and know how to use it. I think being female helps though as we can always just shut up and people accept that. In that respect I think men have it harder but I'm not sure...

I suppouse some people have different views on this. Some say its very much possible to establish a relationship if you have AS others say its impossible. Interesting to get peoples differing point of views on this.

Too be honest though i think it will be that extra hard for me becuase i can find it hard to function and i defenintly have more than just mild AS

Really AS gets milder with age? So does that i will be able to function better the older i get?

The literature seems to suggest that but studies on adults are few and far between. My personal belief is that it doesn't get milder but appears milder because we've got a bigger bank of approriate cues we can use in similar situations.

I just don't see how AS could get milder. It's not as if we can suddenly start growing the necessary neurons so we can onlt really change our behaviour I think.

Even people with more severe ASDs can sometimes have successful relationships. It's just that A, it's hard for everyone, B, people with ASDs have a harder time picking up the necessary skills, and C, when you have a pervasive development disorder which damages you socially and you know it, it's quite easy to give up. It could be that broader self esteem issues are a big part of the problem.

It would be nice as well if we could learn the ability to switch off our minds and not think so much all the time

Part of the brain which controls 'thought' is impaired in an autistic persons brain. NT's can just go on auto pilot and not think too much which is one of the reasons why life is easier for them.