No Gender
I'm a young gay male and I feel fine being that way, but I had a conversation not long ago with my sister in which I claimed that I didn't really identify with any gender, and she said she felt the same way. If I woke up tomorrow in a female body, I can't imagine it being too much of a shock. As a matter of fact, sometimes I wish I was a straight female, since it would be a lot easier finding a boyfriend that way.
hellomynameis
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: 14 Oct 2010
Age: 27
Gender: Female
Posts: 41
Location: Maryland, USA
I don't feel I have a gender either. Technically I'm a girl, but I've never felt comfortable with makeup or tight clothes or any other 'girly' stereotypes. At the same time, I don't feel male in the sense that I don't feel masculine and 'manly' and have to prove myself to other people. I don't know, I just wear what feels comfortable and act how I feel.
It might also be worth mention that I'm asexual as well. Somebody should do a study on that.
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?Don?t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.? Howard Thurman
I'm also asexual, although I am not necessarily aromantic.
I have described myself as lesbian, although I am not really sure that fits.
This describes me almost perfectly! I don't know necessarily what you mean by "asexual" as it pertains to you, but I find that while I'm very interested in sex, I don't really crave it. I recently realized that I'm a lesbian, but it took me till age 22 to figure it out and I'm still not really sure what that means to me. I used to have sex with boys, and it was sort of fun, but I never really felt turned on and was just pretty uncomfortable and guarded and there was nothing I really wanted to do. I'm more interested when I'm with girls.
this is exactly the way I feel. Just exactly. I'm born a female but I do not dress or behave like either of them, any loads of people cannot tell if I'm a boy or a girl unltill I begin to speak (i have quite a high pitched voice sadly). Im attracted to both sexes, altough more to males than to females, I do have sex on rare occasions, and I do like it, but my mind it not focussed on it 24/7. It is more enjoyable for me to just watch beautifull people from a distance without any contact, to think about them etc. That's good enough for me most of the time.
I wouldn't be able to describe what I am, perhaps a bit more like a guy mentally, but usually it's very much inbetween.
I was born a male, but I do not feel male or female. My romantic orientation is biromantic but I am mostly asexual. I have an extremely low libido (perhaps even none) but I do have a slightly higher libido in relationships. I prefer to be referred to by name, rather than gender specific pronouns, but I'm okay with the pronouns. As for actual sexual experience... Well let's just say I prefer sexless relationships if possible. I will masterbate maybe once or twice a year though. I view that as a stress reliever rather than pleasuring myself however. I dislike the feeling of it quite honestly.
I'm not sure how to describe myself as I haven't an extensive knowledge on the terminology so I might be wrong with some words' usage. But that should be readable I hope.
I am the exact same way. I identify as nongendered and neutrois (meaning I'm transsexual, but instead of feeling like my body is wrong because it is the opposite sex than I feel like I am inside, my body feels wrong because I feel like I should have no sex at all.) I'm also asexual.
Also, this, exactly. I've never felt like I was quite a human being, either, and I hate being treated like a gendered, dating, marriage-and-children-wanting member of human society while all I really want to do is make and produce music.
Wow, it's nice to see so many people who feel the same as I do.
I was born in a male body and don't really have any androgynous characteristics. I'd be open to pushing that a little bit but I'd rather not have to deal with questions from people about this or that. So I just leave it be.
I've dated mostly women but also some men. I'm perfectly bisexual in theory, but in practice tend more towards heterosexuality. The reason is that straight women are more prevalent in society than gay or bisexual men, and that the latter also tend to have personality traits that I don't find terribly attractive. That's just my limited experience, though.
I'm asexual but can get excited about pleasing a partner, which is either an act or else I'm not entirely asexual. I do have biological urges that I have to take care of more frequently than I'd prefer. I would LOVE to find a way to shut that aspect of my body off. I always feel foggier mentally after an orgasm and so to just not require those would be welcome. I suppose that there is the issue of prostate health, though, so perhaps I shouldn't complain too much.
Melpomene
Raven
Joined: 5 Aug 2011
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 119
Location: Veldhoven, The Netherlands
Wow, this is fascinating. I didn't know so many people here felt this way! I am biologically female, but inside my head, I feel neither male nor female. I'm also not at all attached to my gender: if I'd wake up biologically male tomorrow, fine by me! I embrace characteristics of both genders in the way I dress, act and think. It's only recently that people have started remarking that for all of my feminine looks, I don't act like a woman at all. Friends say I 'think like a man', which I suppose to mean that I am forward about things instead of pussyfooting around them. A lot of gender identity relies on stereotypes, I believe, and as soon as you shun those, you become 'odd'. It's not even about make-up or the way you dress sometimes, but the role you play in society as a whole. I, for instance, don't want children, and a lot of people ask me whether I would feel 'fulfilled as a woman' if I didn't, or if I don't consider it my 'duty as a woman' to reproduce. The mind baffles. I don't even consider my gender role most of the time and find it very odd that other people should concern themselves with it at all.
This would apply to me aswell. I don't feel like a man eventhough I'm perfectly content with my anatomy, I wouldn't mind if I suddenly found myself having a female body. In some ways it would be liberating, I imagine, but I'm fine either way.
I don't really understand people's obsession with presenting or not presenting as their biological sex, they might aswell try to hide their eye or hair colour. It's so insignificant to me that both sides tend to aggravate me when they keep pushing their particular view on gender.
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Chances are, if you're offended by something I said, it was an attempt at humour.
I do sometimes feel as though I don't belong to a gender. I feel as though I shouldn't have a male body, but also not necessarily fitting for a female one either. I feel somewhere in the middle, not strictly pertaining to either gender but rather being a rather unique and eccentric character that doesn't dedicate to being either a male or female.
That said however, I DO want to explore sex. I simply crave it and I want to see the things I can do with sex as a person who doesn't feel that I belong to a particular gender.
notinabox43
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: 18 Aug 2011
Age: 61
Gender: Female
Posts: 69
Location: Australia
I am a woman married to a man. I am attracted to women, but only came out a few years ago. Since then I discovered quite a transgender desire in me. I've never felt feminine. I would happily cut off my breasts tomorrow if they weren't the only breasts I get to touch.! I don't feel like a man either except during sex. I say I feel transgender but maybe I just feel not female.
I dont have much sex with my husband for obvious reasons, but also because I struggle letting him touch me. And all the bodily fluids!
_________________
Shine on you crazy diamond! - Pink Floyd
I feel this way honestly. I don't really identify with the stereotypical male gender roles, but I don't really feel female either. I live as a male because I look the part (and because the clothes are a bit more comfortable), but if I woke up tomorrow with a vagina, I wouldn't be too terribly angry about it.
for me, it's much more the person than the gender. Most often it's someone with short darkish hair and a sharp nose. What's between the ears is more important than between the legs. Or gender ambiguity. Girlish men, or boyish women. I don't have the same option myself, being physically quite obviously male. I guess I think of myself as male, but lots of social cues kinda slip by me, so I'm often clueless about what someone else is thinking. I identify as queer in the queer community. And in a pack of straights I get by not saying anything, but I feel a bit uncomfortable sometimes that I'm not being honest. I do NOT feel guilty about avoiding getting bashed.
Yep, definitely genderqueer here. Mostly androgynous identified, but I don't feel that exactly fits. I don't think I present as visually androgynous (see moustaches at left), but I just have never felt macho enough to "be a man." I don't have a lot of power-strength, but I do have rather a lot of endurance, which is a decidedly feminine characteristic.
Have never been attracted to any sort of physical characteristics, be they gender expressions, body types, hair/eye color etc ... even intelligence I do not find quite so attractive as personality and attitudes.
That being said, I have male plumbing, have dated more women than men, and was married to a woman for 10 years (who was genderqueer also, more masculine than I.) (S)he had major possessive / jealousy / dominance issues over me which became intolerably painful after the first 5 years. I'm quite happily single now. Just me and my kitten, and that'suits me perfectly.
It seems that more than anything I'm attracted to a mix of gentleness and adventerousness. Which means I'm kind of attracted to everyone and no one. Plus, sex having isn't very important to me so much as small physical affection: hugs, cuddling, holding hands or having a hand run through my hair.
Playing into the gender stereotypes, men tend to be be too agressive for me, and women too timid. So most of the people I have dated have been bisexual women who present in a mostly masculine way: jeans, short hair, brassy & forward attitude. Or effeminite men... but I tend to dislike how genderqueer NTs have a tendency to by monomaniacally obsessed with gender issues. It is likely that I won't be able to find an "ideal mate", and that I'm ok with that. There's lots more interesting things to think about and devote time to than thinking about sex all the time.
I wear skirt & some faux fur on my hood, and I walk with a light step like I'm always dancing, usually my voice comes out high and light unless I'm explaining something when it drops into a low monotone. I have a lot of sensitive touch issues with clothing, and the freedom of movement afforded by the skirt, a supposedly feminine garment, is a godsend. Much better than pants.
jeez that was long. sorry
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