THE ONE

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Discuss, ramble or otherwise talk about anything you think and/or feel about the concept of "the one".

The one, to me, is... a fantasy. The one who understands and embraces everything about my being, and I understanding and embrace everything about his/her's (Okay, I was originally going to say "Her", but I might need to keep my options open if the female half doesn't really exist in reality.). The one who is 'ultra compatible' in every way possible, and understands all of my jokes and discussions. The one is someone who you "recognize as the one" instantly, in an ideal world, but I'll accept "within a few months" in reality. The one is someone who knows what you're thinking, and you know what they're thinking, just by merely looking at them.

The one ... doesn't exist. The one is a fantasy. Even if the one does exist or there are a lot of individuals who are close to qualifying as "the one", they are far too impractical to find to be realistic. The one, despite all the endearing qualities above, is affected by the same real-life communication difficulties (voice and speech related) that affects everyone else. "The One" is affected by all the same variables involved in normal "relationship calculus" that's common to everyone else, and when the sum of all the variables becomes sufficiently low over time and other offerings are looking quite tempting, the one breaks up and leaves. The one is a pipe dream.

I'm pretty sure I met her and actually had sex with her several times, but she didn't allow me to pursue the relationship outside of the bedroom. She could have abstract conversations with me, she was affectionate, and she was hot. That's exactly the connection I want sans the manipulative b*tch/bisexual aspect!

We are all one. A unity.

I think of the One as the mathematical limit of all the various degrees of compatibility. We can asymptotically approach it, but never actually reach it.

For each person, there will be a person who represents the local maximum of compatibility. It is a foolish thing to look at this local maximum and reject it because it is not a global maximum. It's also foolish to ignore this person in the first place, being convinced that someone else represents the local maximum.

A stable relationship only exists when both people are each other's local maxima. One may think of them having reached a ground-state from which it is very hard to push each other apart.

In other words, you are nitrogen. Stop screwing around with other elements and find another nitrogen atom to pair with. The process of finding that other nitrogen may involve lots of explosions, but the pair-bond stability is worth it in the end.

There is no such thing as 'the one'. There may, at some point be *a* one that you want to be with, but barring circumstance and distance there are numerous potential matches out there for just about anyone.

Those that live in densely populated cities probably see several in passing every time we leave our house.

i have a naive believe that the one could be anybody who is spiritually evolved, i.e., if one is all about love, then the one could be just about anybody.

I feel I've met my One 8 years ago & I screwed it up in the end I believed in the idea of a one true love then & I doubt I'll ever find another One again unle3ss I can somehow get a date with Miranda Cosgrove. I think she would be most any guy's One thou. I'm NOT crazy enough to try

Well, not sure about "the" one, but right now she seems like the one that got away.

Actually at the pace and direction im going she might be the only one, the one and the one that got away.

I thought I met her, but she made ridiculous assumptions about me. I asked for relationship advice, but she saw it online and made it look I had a weak personality, and couldn't communicate directly with a partner, and was unmotivated. None of those were true. She was basing those things on the fact that she never asks for advice or needs emotional support, and anybody who doesn't do things exactly the way she does is weak, unmotivated, and unable to communicate.

She ended up marrying some guy based on her ridiculous ideas about relationships, and she ended up throwing her life away in the process. She got engaged to him after only 5 months of dating, and started making long-term plans with him only 2 weeks into the relationship.

I don't think anyone can know for sure if somebody is "the one" after just 2 weeks or 5 months. Sometimes we never know if they are.

I knew because of the way we connected. We had lots of weird things in common. If we would of been adopted & lived closer to each other; I would of suspected we might could of been genetic brother & sister. I do NOT mean that in a creepy way. She reminded me of a younger version of myself in a way if I would of been born a girl, didn't have vision issues & was raised in that environment. It was completely obvious to me that she was The One at the time

The one is a crock of s**t. Some mesh better than other but you can spend 60 years with a significant other and not have found "the one". If there was only "the one" what on earth do you think the odds are that people would meet them?

I prefer to think of the word "love" as a synonym for "tolerate". If a person tells you "I love you despite your faults/flaws" this is about as honest as it get. Now replace love with tolerate "I tolerate you despite your faults" makes equal sense! When you cease to tolerate a person the relationship is over. If you have the patience of a saint you may die first.

I tolerate the cashier talking to my tits. I tolerate random people on the street brushing up against me as they walk. I tolerate my neighbors.

These are all completely different to the way I feel about my husband. Sure, sometimes I tolerate his more annoying habits, but I do not tolerate *him*.

Love your neighbor as yourself Tea.

You could say you love your mom too, but I hope you don't love her like you do your husband. Love is used in different ways just like tolerance is used in different degrees.

I hope my neighbor enjoys heavy petting, then.

Yes, love is different for blood relatives than it is for a partner, but tolerate doesn't really have that variance in meaning.

tol·er·ate   
[tol-uh-reyt] Show IPA
–verb (used with object), -at·ed, -at·ing.
1.
to allow the existence, presence, practice, or act of without prohibition or hindrance; permit.
2.
to endure without repugnance; put up with: I can tolerate laziness, but not incompetence.
3.
Medicine/Medical . to endure or resist the action of (a drug, poison, etc.).
4.
Obsolete . to experience, undergo, or sustain, as pain or hardship.

I see nothing here that would suggest you have the definition of the word correct. If all you're doing is tolerating the presence of your partner, you probably shouldn't be with them.

Only a Sith deals in absolutes.

You can choose to be more or less tolerating of other beings. For example, a bee flies into your hourse you kill it. A neighbors child busts into your house (yes the door was unlocked by he wasn't invited in) you politely ask him to leave. A man in a ski mask pops in and you either call the police or reach for a weapon to defend your territory but probably not with the intent of killing the intruder. You are more tolerant of the child than the robber and more tolerant of the robber than the bee.

When I read Tolerant your partner here; I was thinking of something like the o'll Ball & Chain analogy. I never thought of her that way. She was the one who tolerated me; I might of been her ball & chain in the end because I had problems with her doing certain things(like drugs & alcohol) because I was afraid of something happening to her. I was very dependent & insecure & screwed-up