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Giftorcurse
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14 Apr 2011, 3:09 pm

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"Akira, you really need a new hobby."
"Shut the f**k up, Masaru! This s**t's better than GTA!"


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IdahoRose
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15 Apr 2011, 2:25 am

The only time I like babies is when they're in a dumpster. :wink:

Don't take it literally; it's just an extreme over-exaggeration of my lack of maternal instincts. :)



Tequila
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15 Apr 2011, 2:53 am

Just got a restraining order from a judge. I'm not allowed to be within 20 miles of a beautiful woman I've been stalking.

Not a bad outcome: in order for me to comply, I must know where she is all the time.



lostonearth35
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15 Dec 2018, 3:20 pm

A little boy asks, "Daddy, why is mommy so pale?"
The father says, "Shut up kid, and keep digging."



TW1ZTY
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15 Dec 2018, 3:32 pm

If a prostitute gets raped is that considered shoplifting? :P


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Deinonychus
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15 Dec 2018, 3:39 pm

Amelia Earhart didn’t make it.


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IstominFan
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15 Dec 2018, 9:54 pm

Why did Novak lose to Denis at the 2017 Australian Open?

He forgot to take his anti-Istomin shots.



EzraS
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15 Dec 2018, 10:27 pm

“I’m sorry” and “I apologize” mean the same thing. Except at a funeral.



IstominFan
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16 Dec 2018, 10:31 am

Why did Denis Istomin think his doctors were funny following his car accident?

They kept him in stitches! (Over 80 of them, to be precise!)



TW1ZTY
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16 Dec 2018, 10:48 am

"Money can't buy happiness"

"Sure it can. That's just a lie we tell poor people to keep them from rioting"


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Deinonychus
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16 Dec 2018, 10:55 am

TW1ZTY wrote:
"Money can't buy happiness"

"Sure it can. That's just a lie we tell poor people to keep them from rioting"


“Money can buy a waverunner” -Kenny Powers

“Waverunners make people happy” -KP


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IstominFan
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18 Dec 2018, 10:28 am

"Money can't buy health, but it can pay the doctor's bills."

P.J. O'Rourke, All The Trouble In The World (The last of his books that was really laugh out loud funny. The ones that came after were nearly all duds.



TW1ZTY
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18 Dec 2018, 10:32 am

What did one lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire?

"See you next month"


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Arganger
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18 Dec 2018, 10:59 am

Maybe we do need more anti vaxxers; I finely could know what it feels like to be alone.


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Diagnosed autistic level 2, ODD, anxiety, dyspraxic, essential tremors, depression (Doubted), CAPD, hyper mobility syndrome
Suspected; PTSD (Treated, as my counselor did notice), possible PCOS, PMDD, Learning disabilities (Sure of it, unknown what they are), possibly something wrong with immune system (Sick about as much as I'm not) Possible EDS- hyper mobility type (Will be getting tested, suggested by doctor) dysautonomia
My website;
www.autistichelpsyou.com


lostonearth35
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18 Dec 2018, 11:09 am

Three doctors were talking about what their favorite kinds of patients were.

The first doctor says, "My favorite patients are librarians because their organs are in alphabetical order."

The second doctor says, "My favorite patients are mathematicians because their organs are all numbered.

The third doctor says, "My favorite patients are politicians because they're brainless, heartless, gutless, have no backbone, and their heads and buttocks can be easily switched." :twisted: