Make an extremely dark joke.

Post Reply New Topic

(I can't get my head around the "Dark humour" idea so I may as well say a joke anyway!)

Why do elephants have wrinkles? They just don't fit on ironing boards.

Mummy mummy do you believe in vampires?
Shut up and drink your blood!


Mummy mummy can I lick the bowl?
No, pull the chain like everyone else.

Haha!

They said that toilet water was good for your face. Tried it but the lid fell on the back of my head.

If the "black box" is the one thing that never gets destroyed in a plane crash, why don't they just make a whole plane from the stuff used to make black boxes?

Passengers on an airplane were enjoying their flight until they heard an announcement from the captain. “Ladies and gentlemen, I am sorry to inform you that we have lost power to all of our engines and will shortly crash into the ocean,” he said.

The passengers were obviously very worried about the situation, but were somewhat comforted by the captain’s next announcement. “Ladies and gentlemen, we have prepared for such an emergency and we would now like you to rearrange your seating so that all the non swimmers are on the left side of the plane, and all the swimmers on the right,” he said.

The passengers complied with the request and two minutes later the captain made a belly landing in the ocean. “Ladies and gentlemen we have crashed into the ocean. All the swimmers on the right side of the plane, open your emergency exits and quickly swim away from the plane. For all of the non swimmers, thankyou for flying with us today,” the captain said.

Why did Novak think he was so hilarious?

Because he's the Djoker!

(Today is Novak Djokovic's 32nd birthday)

I know a dark joke! Yay!



What has four claws, wiskas and flies?



A dead cat.

^^ Like this, you mean?...

Creepy but appropriate to the previous joke


Mummy mummy do you believe in weirwolves?

Shut up and comb your face.

Kraftiekortie would love that one!

How do you make Dzokar Tsarnev stew?

In a pressure cooker!

Gwilym Evans said "Animal testing is so unfair. They all get nurvous and give the wrong answers".

How to you turn a duck into a soul singer??
Leave it in the oven until it's Bill Withers

Mattel have announced first dibs on Rolf Harris's ashes.
They're going to turn him into a commemorative Ken doll so little girls can play with him instead.

What's the difference between Freddie Mercury and Princess Diana???
Only one of them ever got to be Queen