Make an extremely dark joke.
One little boy stands up and offers: "If my best friend who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a runaway tractor comes along and knocks him dead, that would be a tragedy." "No," says Mr Trump, "that would be an accident."
A little girl raises her hand: "If a school bus carrying 50 children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy." "I'm afraid not," explains the exalted businessman. "That's what we would call a great loss."
The room goes silent. No other children volunteer. Mr Trump searches the room. "Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?" Finally at the back of the room, little Johnny raises his hand. In a quiet voice he says: "If a private jet carrying you was struck by a missile and blown to smithereens, that would be a tragedy." "Fantastic!" exclaims Mr Trump, "That's right. And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?" "Well," says the boy, "because it sure as hell wouldn't be a great loss and it probably wouldn't be an accident either."
Luv it!!
while on the subject....
Trump is an inspiration to a new generation of kids.
Kids used to be told ‘Believe in yourself, you can be anything when you grow up, you could be President’. The kids and the parents both knew that there was no chance of it actually happening.
Now, it’s a genuine possibility.
Trump's nothing like Hitler… there's no way he could write a book.
You can actually make your own Trump policies by going through the incinerator at the Daily Mail and picking through the dust for anything they thought might get them prosecuted.
Following endless negotiations with North and South Korea, Trump said that East and West Korea must be very peaceful as he never hears about them.
Say what you like about Trump, but he is doing more than anyone else in the world to get the US president impeached.
Trump is like a top shelf vodka...
Expensive, transparent, and wouldn't be here if not for Russia.
How is Trump's presidency like climate change?
Every day it gets worse and republicans try to deny it.
Trump is walking out of the White House and heading toward his limo, when a possible assassin steps forward and aims a gun.
A secret service agent, new on the job, shouts 'Mickey Mouse!'
This startles the would-be assassin and he is captured.
Later, the secret service agent's supervisor takes him aside and asks, 'What in the hell made you shout Mickey Mouse?'
Blushing, the agent replies, 'I got nervous. I meant to shout 'Donald, duck!'
_________________
BOLTZ 17/3 2012 - 12/11 2020
Beautiful, sweet, gentle, playful, loyal
simply the best and one of a kind
love you and miss you, dear boy
Stop the wolf kills! https://www.thepetitionsite.com/takeact ... 3091429765
One little boy stands up and offers: "If my best friend who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a runaway tractor comes along and knocks him dead, that would be a tragedy." "No," says Mr Trump, "that would be an accident."
A little girl raises her hand: "If a school bus carrying 50 children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy." "I'm afraid not," explains the exalted businessman. "That's what we would call a great loss."
The room goes silent. No other children volunteer. Mr Trump searches the room. "Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?" Finally at the back of the room, little Johnny raises his hand. In a quiet voice he says: "If a private jet carrying you was struck by a missile and blown to smithereens, that would be a tragedy." "Fantastic!" exclaims Mr Trump, "That's right. And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?" "Well," says the boy, "because it sure as hell wouldn't be a great loss and it probably wouldn't be an accident either."
Luv it!!
while on the subject....
Trump is an inspiration to a new generation of kids.
Kids used to be told ‘Believe in yourself, you can be anything when you grow up, you could be President’. The kids and the parents both knew that there was no chance of it actually happening.
Now, it’s a genuine possibility.
Trump's nothing like Hitler… there's no way he could write a book.
You can actually make your own Trump policies by going through the incinerator at the Daily Mail and picking through the dust for anything they thought might get them prosecuted.
Following endless negotiations with North and South Korea, Trump said that East and West Korea must be very peaceful as he never hears about them.
Say what you like about Trump, but he is doing more than anyone else in the world to get the US president impeached.
Trump is like a top shelf vodka...
Expensive, transparent, and wouldn't be here if not for Russia.
How is Trump's presidency like climate change?
Every day it gets worse and republicans try to deny it.
Trump is walking out of the White House and heading toward his limo, when a possible assassin steps forward and aims a gun.
A secret service agent, new on the job, shouts 'Mickey Mouse!'
This startles the would-be assassin and he is captured.
Later, the secret service agent's supervisor takes him aside and asks, 'What in the hell made you shout Mickey Mouse?'
Blushing, the agent replies, 'I got nervous. I meant to shout 'Donald, duck!'
The one about East and West Korea and the last one "Donald Duck!" Made me laugh so hard!
_________________
♡ The Hearts teach us to feel pleasure and pain.
◇ The Diamonds teach us to enjoy that we gain.
♧ The Clubs teach us to work the goals we aim.
♤ The Spades teach us to conquer all we claim.
lostonearth35
Veteran
Joined: 5 Jan 2010
Age: 50
Gender: Female
Posts: 11,898
Location: Lost on Earth, waddya think?
A man was very ill and laying on his deathbed while his wife sat next to him, grieving and doing what she could to make his last few hours comfortable. The husband then used what little strength he had left to say to her, "My dear beloved wife, there's something I've been keeping a secret from you, and I have to tell you before I die."
His wife said gently, "No, save your strength, you don't have to tell me anything, it's okay."
The husband said, "It's not okay. If I'm to leave this world in peace, I must tell you about the horrible deed I committed. My love, I... I've been having an affair with your sister... I'm very sorry I did such a terrible thing. Please forgive me."
His wife said softly, "It's all right, my dear. In fact, I already knew what you did. Which is why I poisoned you."
How dare you call me a psycho?! I'm gonna chop your head off and turn your skull into an ashtray for that!
_________________
♡ The Hearts teach us to feel pleasure and pain.
◇ The Diamonds teach us to enjoy that we gain.
♧ The Clubs teach us to work the goals we aim.
♤ The Spades teach us to conquer all we claim.
lostonearth35
Veteran
Joined: 5 Jan 2010
Age: 50
Gender: Female
Posts: 11,898
Location: Lost on Earth, waddya think?
funeralxempire
Veteran
Joined: 27 Oct 2014
Age: 39
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 25,504
Location: Right over your left shoulder
This is more just gross, but anyways...
What's the difference between a lentil and a chickpea?
I wouldn't pay $200 to have a lentil on my face.
_________________
Watching liberals try to solve societal problems without a systemic critique/class consciousness is like watching someone in the dark try to flip on the light switch, but they keep turning on the garbage disposal instead.
戦争ではなく戦争と戦う
What's the difference between babies and birds?
Babies don't fly when you throw them off buildings.
OMG, OMG, there is something really, really nasty on your neck! Ewwwwww!
oops.... no wait...
That's just your head!
A teacher wanted to teach her students about self-esteem, so she asked anyone who thought they were stupid to stand up. One kid stood up and the teacher was surprised. She didn’t think anyone would stand up so she asked him, “Why did you stand up?”
He answered, “I didn’t want to leave you standing up by yourself.”
I've finally decided to start eating vegan.
I've eaten a few of them now and I have to say, they aren't that tasty but I feel like I'm making a difference in the world already!
Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"
Whenever your ex says, "You'll never find someone like me," the answer to that is, "That's the point."
An old teacher asked her student, "If I say, 'I am beautiful,' which tense is that?" The student replied, "It is obviously past."
A husband says to his wife, "You know, our son got his brain from me." The wife replies, "I think he did. I still got mine with me!"
_________________
BOLTZ 17/3 2012 - 12/11 2020
Beautiful, sweet, gentle, playful, loyal
simply the best and one of a kind
love you and miss you, dear boy
Stop the wolf kills! https://www.thepetitionsite.com/takeact ... 3091429765
lostonearth35
Veteran
Joined: 5 Jan 2010
Age: 50
Gender: Female
Posts: 11,898
Location: Lost on Earth, waddya think?
Similar Topics | |
---|---|
US Border Control is a Joke |
14 Feb 2024, 3:47 pm |
If it wasn't a GI Jane joke... |
17 Feb 2024, 1:16 pm |
A Physicist Claims the Universe Has No Dark Matter & Is 27B |
29 Mar 2024, 5:13 pm |
How can i make new friends without failing (if possible) |
29 Feb 2024, 6:25 am |