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wblastyn
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21 Apr 2011, 7:02 pm

I can't help calling someone out if I think they've done something wrong/bad.

I feel like they should be brought to justice, or at least acknowledge they did something wrong and apologise.

However, when I do this it seems I become the one in the wrong, because I'm a "trouble maker", etc. People will defend the other person, even though they are wrong, and attack me (verbally).

It baffles me that people just let others get away with their bad behaviour, then they all get angry at the person who doesn't let them away with it. So they just keep on behaving that way and people wonder why our world is so screwed up.

E.g. a guy was yelling at someone online for "bitching" too much, so I pointed out their hypocrasy, since this guy constantly "b*****s" at other people and is really condescending. Yet when I did that *I* became the one in the wrong, for not letting things go. So apparantly it's ok for you to yell at people and be hypocritical! :x

I hate arguing and confrontation, so I end up feeling really guilty and apologising, even though I don't think I really did anything wrong... :cry:

Does anyone else ever encounter this problem?



tenzinsmom
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21 Apr 2011, 7:10 pm

This happens to me all the time...

Especially within my own family. :cry:


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raisedbyignorance
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21 Apr 2011, 11:24 pm

tenzinsmom wrote:
This happens to me all the time...

Especially within my own family. :cry:


Same here. I think my friends are even worst though, they'll just flat out deny they did anything wrong or point out why I deserved it.



League_Girl
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22 Apr 2011, 12:05 am

I used to be this way and now just lately I have been keeping my mouth shut because I am in no mood for drama. But it still bugs me when I see hypocrisy and other crap I hate. I have learned people don't like it when their flaws get pointed out so they attack because you hurt their pride. I've been there online.



ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo
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22 Apr 2011, 12:20 am

It just depends on what it is. If it's something dangerous or illegal, I don't let stuff like that slide.
If I am really fed up and someone is rude, like at a store, and is an employee, I call the store later and complain about the one who was rude.
Other times, I just ignore rudeness.
If someone complained to me about others bitching, I would listen for a while, then try to change the subject. If I saw it online, I probably wouldn't respond unless I knew the person they were saying bitched too much. Then, I might defend the person if I thought they were nice and all.



liveandletdie
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22 Apr 2011, 12:25 am

ya definately understand that..

was the cause or half of the conflict when I was a kid.

seemed as I got older I lost the fight to point out the wrongs after it seemed to not help at all...

people have also largely grown up, and I've cut people out so it's also not as noticable.


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CockneyRebel
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22 Apr 2011, 12:54 am

There was a time when I used to call people out. I don't do it anymore. It's not worth the time and the drama that's involved in doing that.


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League_Girl
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22 Apr 2011, 1:28 am

I actually found out at Babycenter that calling people out is considered a personal attack 8O

I don't know if that is universal or just a Babycenter rule.



Conspicuous
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22 Apr 2011, 2:38 am

I used to be one of the worst offenders of "calling people out" (and still have the urge to do so all the time). Eventually, after having the same experience as wblastyn time and time again, I learned to let some things go. It's still hard sometimes, though.

One of the big things I learned was to be tactful in how I call people out on things done wrong. Especially since I work as a manager, I can't just tell someone "You did that wrong" in front of customers, so I've got to get clever. You might take this bit of advice and adapt it to your online interactions.



YellowBanana
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22 Apr 2011, 3:05 am

wblastyn wrote:
I can't help calling someone out if I think they've done something wrong/bad.

I feel like they should be brought to justice, or at least acknowledge they did something wrong and apologise.

However, when I do this it seems I become the one in the wrong, because I'm a "trouble maker", etc. People will defend the other person, even though they are wrong, and attack me (verbally).

It baffles me that people just let others get away with their bad behaviour, then they all get angry at the person who doesn't let them away with it. So they just keep on behaving that way and people wonder why our world is so screwed up.

E.g. a guy was yelling at someone online for "bitching" too much, so I pointed out their hypocrasy, since this guy constantly "b*****s" at other people and is really condescending. Yet when I did that *I* became the one in the wrong, for not letting things go. So apparantly it's ok for you to yell at people and be hypocritical! :x

I hate arguing and confrontation, so I end up feeling really guilty and apologising, even though I don't think I really did anything wrong... :cry:

Does anyone else ever encounter this problem?


All the time.

I know that it ends up the same way every time, so I now try not to point out hypocrisy and things that people have done wrong.

But I really struggle with this - if I don't point these things out I keep thinking about them until they drive me nuts (round and round, over and over, back and forth, can't get any other thoughts in my head, you know the drill)...

So often I end up saying something either at a time which is inappropriate because everyone else has moved on, or saying something to an inappropriate person just to get these things out of my head.

Which ends up equally as bad, if not worse, than pointing them out in the first place.



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22 Apr 2011, 3:44 am

When someone has done something bad to me I never let them get ovewr it quickly, even if it was very minor, I'm still obsessing over something one of my therapists said to me about the knights hospitaller, even the slightest things can upset me for days and I just can't let go, I still get upset over childhood situations where I was insulted, I still remember vividly how a younger girl called me a fag*ot for no good reason, still gives me butterflys in my stomach, that was over 10 years ago now.


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