I Quit

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Nim, you are quite possibly right, the girls could be sending out multiple invitations with the design of improving their own results.



ItalianStallion, keep that advice in mind, sexual or emotional 'neediness' is like nuclear radiation, girls interpret it as dangerous and will run from you. Keeping things 'light' is always the best place to start and the best foundation to build upon.

I think part of the difficulty in hiding it comes from the Aspie "pathological honesty" - it feels deceptive. But I don't think it actually is deceptive......I think it's fine to feel desperate as long as you don't act desperate......that probably sometimes involves a rather false presentation of self, you know how NTs are when they say "no, I really don't mind" because if they were too open and honest about their feelings, that would be seen as pressure to give them what they wanted.

I am now thirty and I would never see any sort of "silver lining" in a situation like this. Rather, disgust and hatred. Humanity truly is a disgusting species. The vast majority of it deserves nothing more than to be decimated.

I also find it a bit noteworthy that you (the original poster) were on the path of doing the same thing. It's deceptive behaviour to broaden with "just" one more potential person.

Disgust and hatred???? Who would you be disgusted with and hating? I thought Dinosaw brought up some really good points. "Friend of a friend" is a pretty common way for people to meet and that's just one of tha many fine advantages he brings up.

He lists as advantages:

1)the potential for "friend of a friend" introductions. Hi Jessica, this is my friend Dinosaw. He's a really great guy. Want to join us for coffee? Wouldn't you like to hear that?

2)"reference" potential, being friends with women is evidence to other women that you have likeable qualities

3)socialization experience- talking to a female friend can help with knowing "what to say" on a date or to woman you hope to date

4)boost to your own reputation- a re-phrasing of point (2) really, but in any case, a female friend gives you the reputation of likeability

5)women make great friends

What is there to hate?

Too much to list.

Random thoughts for the OP:

A: Young girls can be extremely mercurial. They can shift their affections very quickly and if you blink you won't notice that you've been replaced. My gf has horrible stories of doing this when she was young.

B. "Alls fair in love an war". Unfortunately it's true. There comes a point where the music stops and if someone else is sitting in "your" chair, tough. Apologies for comparing women to chairs.

C: Not every attached (or otherwise) woman who flirts with you will have the foresight to map out her boundaries.. Many just enjoy the attention, drift and see what happens. Don't mistake flirtation for intent. No promises are invovled.

Just some random things Ive learned. Often with some pain.

To the OP, I say, good for your for thinking about quitting this BS game that is dating. Don't waste your time pursuing effing women. It's a waste. We practically make a profession out of it, yet get nothing for it...no money, tons of rejection and humiliation and emasculation, all for this brass rings tangled in front of our noses and yanked away.

It's a game I don't care to play anymore, and what I'm doing is what I suggest you do:

Find something else to fill your life. Figure out (if you haven't already) what your true calling is, and go after it. Be the best at it. That's what matters.

Think anyone will care when you're dead and gone that you had a relationship, that you found love? Hell no. No one remembers that s**t, because it doesn't matter once the two people concerned are worm food. Because relationships are a dime a dozen...a dime a billion. It's simple procreation. Leave that to the rest of the breeding stock.

I think we were made the way we are because we were meant to rise above the average blokes, and to serve the world in a different way, through science, the creative arts, whatever.

My life is devoted to my work, and every time I feel a pang of longing for some girl I see, I just remind myself it's simple chemical and biological impulses, and she isn't worth wasting time when I've got so much to accomplish that demand all my energy and focus.

And you maybe surprised that in focusing on other stuff, you'll suddenly become more desirable. Woman, whether they will admit it or not, are attracted to the alphas of the species. Initially this appears to be the muscle bound douche-bags which have been the bane of our existence...the means guys to us nice guys. Eventually though, those guys are revealed for what they are, and women, as they sense their growing age and declining looks, will suddenly look for a different alpha...one who can provide, who offers money, and carries the prestige of being the best at his profession.

Be the best, the most successful you can be, and women will eventually want you, and then YOU can be the choosy, the capricious, the unobtainable one! Ha, ah, ha!

And if by some chance you don't find anyone, do live your life alone, at least it was a life full of accomplishment. How many people who found true love can say they mattered a damn in life? Because when you find true love, you're contented, pacified, your urge to break out of your comfort zone is gone. And it is all so inconsequential, while real accomplishments will outlast.

To borrow from ETA Hoffmann's play, I say let your muse be your love, find your truly calling, and make that your life, and forget all this nonsense of dating and finding a woman. They're not worth it.

Good luck, and stay strong!

Oh my god.

Dude, wait until some girl seems to really connect with you and love you and then gradually she completely forgets who you are and replaces her concept of who you are with that of random people you've never met before saying you give up.

It gets MUCH worse. You're just getting started.

I think hale_bopp texted us her thoughts before she hit that deer... ;[