Seeking Insight

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I'm a parent of a 10 year old child with High Functioning Autism (better known as ASD now). He was finally diagnosed 5 months ago. My biggest challenge with him is understanding his mood cycles. Two very distinctive personalities. Is this a common autistic trait? He will go through periods (2-3 weeks) where everything in life is a challenge! He becomes angry very easily and sometimes unsuspectedly. He will tantrum for an hour over what seems to be a minor problem with an easy solution. He fixates. Rock brain. Homework is a heart-ache and he reacts aggressively towards me. Homework, as in, 4 math questions with 100% support. It's a situation that comes and goes for as long as I can remember. It can last anywhere from a week to a month. When he's passed this phase, he's a pretty happy kid. Transitions are fine. He handles expectations, routines, disappointments, and stress relatively well. How I handle a specific situation varies the outcome when he's either "on" or "off". For example, I know he can handle a time-out (when need be) when he's "on" but know better then to try it when he's "off".

I recently came across a youtube clip of a young woman with Aspergers. She mentioned how she's able to "act normal" a lot of the time but that she experienced periods where she couldn't function at all .. that her "Aspie" traits came out in full force. She explained how she couldn't go to work during those times and how she'd screen her calls, ignore her family/friends, and basically isolate herself until the phase passed. Is this a pretty common thing?

I've had my son on medication for 2 years, which was nothing but a nightmare. He was aggressive more often than not, and he had unpleasant side effects as well (hyperfocussing, tics, weight loss, etc). He has been doing much better since he's been off medication. He was also put on meds to help with his social skills, thinking that since he was unfocussed, he was probably having a difficult time reading social cues. This was before his pediatrician realized he has Autism. Anyway, he also has food sensitivities as well. Milk sets him off! So does food colouring, msg, oranges .. and I'm in the process of testing other foods as well.

So my question to the adults with ASD:
1) Do you experience mood cycles similar to what I've mentioned?
2) Are you sensitive to meds, toxins, foods that affect your behaviour?

Any insight would be helpful.
I'm at a point where his school seems to think that my child is just angry at me because they don't see the aggression like I do.

Thanks Red!

Your mood swings you've experienced as a child, did they come and go similar to my son's? I'm not talking about daily mood swings or a crappy couple of days. I'm talking about a marked difference in behaviour that lasts at least 2 weeks (for the most part) and quite often for 3-4 weeks. Right now, we're on week 2. His functional self (his "normal" phase) lasts roughly the same amount of time but varies. Sometimes he'll do well for 2 weeks, other times it can last for 2 months. As much as food has played a role in a negative way, I can't say it's always been the trigger. There's a lot of inconsistencies that I'm not understanding yet. Or is this just Autism?

Interesting about your diet as well. I'm not at all surprised things hardened for you when you started eating "junk". I had a doctor tell me once that food has nothing to do with behaviour. Time for a new doctor!

Anyway, sorry to hear about your history. I can't imagine where my son would be if I kicked him out of our home. Even as a young adult. People with ASD need as much support as possible and I guess your parents didn't realize you have Aspergers? Sad.

Thanks for your feedback.

I used to say that I had two very distinct me's... I went so far as to name them... The keep it together, everything is fine me is named Arienne. The cannot take this s**t anymore, all hell is about to break loose me is Charlotte. This got me a rapid cycle bipolar diagnosis once and made another professional wonder if I had some kind of dissociative disorder. Nope. Turns out I was just trying to be functional past my limits and would snap when I could not take anymore. My storage bin for stimulation/people/activity/alotofstuff is small... when the bin is full I meltdown or shutdown if I do not empty it in time. I have always been this way... I can play 'sane' but not for too long, so it is best for me to not try and simply pace myself realistically.

I am very sensitive to meds. I have been put on several and pulled almost immediately because I get those less than 1% freak of nature side effects. I had an antipsychotic almost kill me... nothing fun about seizing up and having your muscles spasm so tight it shuts down your airways... but usually I just get violent on things that should improve my mood, or I get to feeling like bugs are crawling all over me, the spins, randomly passing out, yadda yadda yadda... funny thing is though I can eat 40 mg of Valium and all it does is making trips to the grocery store fine and dandy. Go figure.

I do not know if food impacts my mood or behavior... I am hypoglycemic, so if I do not keep up with small meals all day I get crabby and lightheaded and am prone to mild freak outs, but that is more lack of food,than it is food causing me issues. I am lactose intolerant and cannot digest animal proteins though. I do need to be mindful of my diet or I get sick to my stomach.

You know, I was almost an ideal student when I was little. I got great grades and was a firm believer that school was for learning. To talk in class or go against the teacher was unthinkable. My teachers always had good things to say about me though my silence was always a concern. At home I was not always so great, but I think that is common for a lot of kids. I know my kids behave better for others than they do for me. Gotta love that, no?

I hope that was helpful.

Thanks Dossa!

Are you diagnosed with ASD then? I like your name idea. When my son was on meds, we had him in categories (without names though). 1) Baby Stage: sensitive, easy to cry, spoke with short sentences and half words 2) Silly Stage: lots of practical "jokes", laughs a lot, very hands-on silliness, barking 3) Teenage Stage: aggressive, swearing, hitting. Now, stage 1 & 2 are blended. The baby talk is not so obvious.

I am diagnosed with Aspergers (among other things...).

Heh. I like the teenage stage title. I have a few teenagers... that title puts a smirk on my head. They might argue with your description of the title, but really now, that would only make it more fitting and appropriate. Heh. Oh shame on me... I should not have a chuckle at the expense of my kids. They really are well behaved and wonderful 90% of the time.

Dossa, do you go through stages now? How do you empty that bin without overloading?

It has been awhile since I have gone on full blown 'Charlotte mode'. I still have shutdowns and meltdowns, but mostly shutdowns now... so I have not yet mastered the fine art of storage bin emptying. But for me being successful involves several things. I need to know my triggers first so I can avoid them or adjust in cases where I cannot avoid. Like, I know I cannot handle going out for too long, so I am mindful of my out of house time and I make sure to take the downtime I need to recover from going out before trying to go on to other tasks that might stress me out. I cannot handle things like the tv being on and someone watching a youtube video in the same room, so I keep my mp3 player handy so I can drown out the multiple sounds coming at me from multiple directions.

If I fail to recognize a trigger in time my next thing to do is be mindful of my body telling me I have too much going on. I would say I am mindful of my emotions, but I am not good at recognizing my own emotions or understanding them or being sure if I really have them... I digress... I have to use my body as a way to tell if I am getting stressed out... I pay mind to my heart rate (I can feel it) and check to see if I am shaky or if my head is hurting or my stomach hurts... If I can catch these things in time, I can put myself in something like a time out where I can go take a nap or do some calming activity and get alone time in... drawing works well for me, so do silly computer games.

Mostly I like to take preventative measures though and keep a schedule for myself and stay within my preset boundaries. I balance my down time and my active time in a way that works for me and that way I can 'empty out' sporadically throughout the day and I seem to function best when I keep to my schedules. My schedules I like to have done at least for the next week and they contain everything from 'take a shower' to 'eat lunch' to 'get groceries' to 'take a break' to 'check your email'. I avoid sudden changes in my schedule and ask the people in my life to give me advance notice of changes and things I will need to do so I am not thrown off and forced to take more proactive measures to keep myself in check. With small things I like a weeks notice (like a soccer game) with big things I like a few months (like going out of town to visit my mother).

I am talking a lot and I am not sure that I properly answered your question...

No, I think that's great. Are these techniques ones you were taught or something you taught yourself in order to manage? One day my son was so upset about a schedule change when community centre gave me wrong information. I had called them ahead of time to avoid this and well, oops by the receptionist. He was so angry and verbally aggressive during our walk home, I "knew" he'd blow once we got inside. Much to my surprise, when he got home, he picked up his Nintendo and hid in his closet!! He was quiet and preoccupied until he was over it. Great idea, I thought so we've painted his closet walls to something fun he liked, added a Thai chair to make his room comfortable and every now and again, he'll resort to it when he's angry. It was working for a while but I can't say he's used it at all in these past 2 (hard) weeks. Instead, he's been hiding under his bed blankets.. which isn't very effective because he just cries REALLY LOUD.

Anyway, I like how you operate.. right down to the email! I need lots of warnings too. I HATE unexpected visitors. Everyone knows not to drop by. Sometimes I'll have a friend who calls and asks if she can come over .. within the half hour. I can handle that better but I still hate it. I screen my messages now so I'm not put in that position. I'm sensitive to noises as well. I get very irritated if I'm trying to do something and I get interrupted. Boils me, actually. Repetitive sounds are hard for me. My son has this tendency to tap on the table, or make some constant verbal sound (barking, crowing) - it gets under my skin! Another quirk of mine is privacy. I don't have anything to hide but almost always, if I'm on the computer and someone walks in, I immediately shut my monitor. If they read over my shoulder, I'd get irritated which is why I've learned to shut it.. I could just be reading a damn spam mail.. doesn't matter though. I've told my partner about this site but I won't be telling her the name. It'll be kept to myself and not because I typing anything she's not already aware of. I'm just weird that way. I'm also tactile defensive. Hate grease on my hands.. which includes hand lotion. How I apply it on the back of my hands, is comical. Yep, I stay away from playdoh! I also hibernate at least once a month .. for a week or so. I need that solo time to regroup. Don't engage into lengthy conversations. I don't want to hear it. I'll make small talk so people don't feel left out but my partner gets upset because she feels I shut her out. My sister once compared me to the ocean's tide .. sometimes I'm in .. and sometimes I'm out!


Anyway .. just poking fun at my quirks. Maybe I'm on the spectrum somewhere, myself lol

Cheers Dossa, I can relate to almost all of what you've been saying and would have to say I am more or less the same in some respects except with a few different coping methods.
You are so much more articulate than me

peace j

bump

It sounds like he may have a trigger of some sort.

My daughter's was dips in blood sugar. Not clinically significant dips but the normal 'I'm getting hungry' dips. Once we figured that out and headed those off, she's been much better. She doesn't seem to have any food triggers but those are common.

After school was ALWAYS meltdown time - a full day of holding it all in and trying her hardest - getting home is meltdown time. The snacks help a bit, giving her the room she needs to decompress helps. She thrives of routines and we set them up in the main structure part of her day but I make regular opportunities to change things up a bit. It is usually something small - like would you go get ice cream? (that's always dropeverythingYES!) But I'll also pick her up at he busstop and run to the post office - off our usual route. It's taken 8 months but she takes these changes in the routine in stride now.

When she gets and stays moody for more than a day, it's usually growth spurt time. I'm fearing puberty... If she is anything like her mom, she's gonna have a difficult time with hormone changes. I don't walk on eggshells but I do give her extra understanding and a bit more slack at these times.

The closet was a great solution - he found his own redirection strategy. Dark, confined - sensory overload eliminated - video game to redirect thoughts. Brilliant in its simplicity. Talk about that during a calm moment - discuss it as his anger fix plan - his routine when he's overloaded..

Anxiety is also a common reason for recurrent moodiness. I experience 'social overload' periodically too - I've worked at long enough and I just need a days/weeks long time out.

My 3 NT brothers all had phases like that at around age ten. Remember normal puberty is kicking in too and its a confusing time for anyone. Homework meltdowns aren't exclusive to ASD kids!

As an adult I find I have phases and I think it was the same as a child but I really don't have a great memory of my childhood anymore. Mostly it was put down to hormones tho and ignored.

thanks everyone! i've often wondered about a growth spurt and how much of it affects his mood. the last time he had this cycle was back in Nov/Dec. Right now, he's on week 3 and today was HORRIBLE! Transition was particularly the problem .. leaving the library afterschool and then the walk home was a spectacle.

I have certain rules and for good reasons. this is the rule that set him off today:
* if a problem arises after school, we discuss the issue(s) at home. discussing them en route (we walk) is only a recipe for disaster. it becomes an unsafe situation as he's likely to punch, kick, or take off.

of course, he only does this when he's "off" but this rule applies for all times. well today, he didn't like this rule. he knew we had a situation (not following the rules with shutting down computer at library). he wanted to know right then and there (during our walk) what I was going to talk with him about. I didnt tell him I was going to talk with him, but knowing our routine, he knew (in his opinion) he was in trouble. anytime an adult talks with him about a situation, he thinks he's in trouble.

anyway, i told him not to worry about it. he wasnt in trouble. we could talk about other fun things. i tried redirecting him but to no success. behaviours got out of control in which he ended up getting hurt when I tried blocking my FACE from his punching attempt. he has yet to punch me like that but i never know when he's going to be brave enough to do so.

as for the homework situation, i realized that it's usually around math only. we came up with a plan to review his math questions ahead of time, that way during homework time, there's no "surprises". i think he was tantruming because he has been given random math questions daily instead of something consistent and maybe to do with what he worked in class. i think that's a biggie.. and the A-HA moment came to me this morning. we talked about that plan and he seemed pretty good about it. despite our rough trip home from school, he did practice that plan and finished his homework without any issues.

today though, i just wanted to die. he reacted in a bad way when a teacher from his school was observing from a coffee shop. im sure she's going to assume home life is psychotic since he does rather well at school. (sigh) won't be sleeping well tonight! (again)

back to the growth spurt, my son has been like this for as long as i can remember .. the mood cycles. it's not a daily roller coaster ride. it comes and stays for weeks and then leaves again for weeks/months. i don't think it has anything to do with his age, although i do worry whats going to come my way BECAUSE of the hormones. great. something to look forward to.