Do you find it hard to just be yourself?

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I read somewhere that people with Asperger's syndrome often have trouble just being themselves. They slip into roles whenever they are with other people or slip into a certain role to stay unnoticed etc...

I was wondering if any of you have this trait.

I'd say I definitely have it. Infact I don't even know how who I really am anymore because I've slipped into so many roles.
I often slip into them without even really noticing it.

I can find it hard to be myself when in company. I tend to be myself online though. Either way it never seems to fair well for me lol.

Yes. I tend to act how others act. When I was a kid, I did school behavior and when I be at home, I was myself. Online my behavior changes on every forum because of how things are there. People have thought I was fake for this because they don't understand WP behavior, I2 behavior, AFF behavior and so on. Plus if a forum is less active, I post less and make less threads and go there less. I will not go to a forum and post something there I would normally post on an autism forum. It be like me posting a pregnancy problem here than at Babycenter in the birth club or in the pregnancy group. So that is why my behavior changes on each forum.

But I don't let it bother me because I have always been this way. Sometimes I wonder who am I. I guess who I am is someone at home but at work I am different or when I am elsewhere.

If I don't follow the trend others are doing, then I guess that is a sign I am being myself, same as if I don't like what others are doing so I don't do it myself, I guess I am being myself.

When we first moved to Montana, I was having all these different personalities because I was acting like this group of kids and then this other group of kids and then another group of kids the teachers couldn't keep track of my behavior because I was all over. I don't even remember that because mom told me about it.

I find it quite easy to be myself. I bring being yourself to a new level. That's just me, though.

@League_Girl: That pretty much describes what I have as well. Thanks a lot for that post!

Thanks to the others as well. I hope I get a few more posts though...

No because I don't know how to be anyone else....

I'm only ever myself when I'm home on my own. I live on my own, fortunately, so it makes it easier.
As soon as I leave the house, I'm acting. As soon as I get to work I'm acting until the minute I leave. And then get home exhausted from pretending too much.
I can't even manage to be myself when I visit family- I have to "tone down" my aspie-ness a bit, and if I'm there too long, I end up having a meltdown from pretending and not having a release.

I'll tell you something, though: since being diagnosed and telling a couple of people at work, I actually act far more like me when I'm at work now, because it's understood and accepted! Yay!

I've felt like I've been going through and identity crisis...since I don't know when. I tried to figure out why this was- one explanation I came up with was, when everyone else was going through there identity crisis stage as a teen I was dealing with the mania and depression that is bipolar disorder. I figured I just missed a normal stage... Asperger's would explain so much. ... My last boyfriend, who was supportive and engaged when I opened up about bipolar actually made a comment about me having different personalities (that it would be too much) and I said, No, I don't have that. I tried to explain that when I'm with some people I seem to connect more than others and can open up and be myself more -he didn't get it. I asked him if he ever felt like that and he said no- he was always himself...

Sometimes I feel like a chameleon and adapt, but usually I kind of just shut down-don't contribute...I would if I could, but nothing comes to mind...

I find it hard to be "myself". I'm not even sure what "myself" is. I have bipolar disorder, and the difference in my behavior with either mania or depression is big. I have a manic or depressive episode much more often than I am just normal.

I think I'd find it hard to *not* just be myself. Okay, I do conceal certain parts of myself at times, but I don't play a role or put on a face of being like someone else; I just reveal some parts of myself and not others. What I show is still me, just a particular selection of me. I don't think I could artificially play a role.

(This is probably partly due to growing up in an environment that was very accepting of nonconformity.)

I'm not even sure what being myself would be. I always seem to act differently depending on who I am with at the time...

I find it hard to be anything but

Well said, both of you. Same here. In public, I am very much like a chameleon. I unconsciously adapt my projected "self" to match its surroundings. But often I find myself drawing a blank and don't seem to have much of a "self" to express.

"Being myself" happens when I am totally alone, without the prospect of any social interaction... which is hardly ever.

Years ago, I lived on my own, and there were times when I could go home to my apartment, lock the door, and be completely myself. No one was there waiting for me. No one was coming over. No phone calls to make or emails to answer. There were no engagements or expectations for socialization at all. Then I could be myself.

In a way, that is sad. Total isolation. But after years of continuously trying and failing at the alternative (being social and living around other people), I can say that I do miss the days when I could really be myself...

Yes, I can relate. I'm not sure what my real personality is like and I'm constantly questioning myself and others. Maybe it has to do with problems in "theory of self" as argued in this somewhat interesting paper:

"Theory of Mind and the self"

http://www.cogsci.ucsd.edu/~pineda/COGS ... /Happe.pdf

Yes.

I'm a million miles from myself. I feel like I slipped out of orbit and there's no way back