Should I ask for a second opinion?

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I am pretty certain I have Asperger's. I got my doctor to refer me to a psychiatrist, who I saw in February. I talked to the psychiatrist for about an hour, but there was lots of stuff I forgot to mention because I was nervous. She kept telling me to look her in the eyes and to stop biting my nails and wringing my hands, which obviously I do because i'm nervous. I didn't think that was very helpful as it distracted from what we were talking about and made me feel a bit put-upon. At the end she said I definitely display many of the symptoms of Asperger's, but she would be reluctant to go ahead with an official diagnosis because she didn't know what good it would do me. She said I obviously seem to be getting on quite well in life and didn't think a diagnosis would do me any favours. For the record, I don't feel I am getting on that well in life, at least not compared to my 'peers' etc. I got the impression that the psychiatrist I saw didn't have much experience of ASD. I was thinking I could perhaps ask to see a clinical psychologist or something instead.

Obviously I do not want a diagnosis that is wrong. But I think it would help - if indeed I do have AS - for me to have a diagnosis because it would be like a milestone in my understanding of myself. If you see what I mean. And it would allow me to go forward with my learning about AS, and consequently myself, without feeling like an impostor (then again i've felt like an impostor in most situations my whole life, go figure...). Also, I am about to go back into higher education (having failed at my previous attempts) and I wonder if a diagnosis would mean improved access to extra support - whether financial or otherwise. Those are my reasons for why I think a diagnosis could be beneficial to me. But are they valid?

What do you think? Should I go ahead and ask for a second opinion or should I just leave it and try to get on as best I can in life without a diagnosis? Obviously I don't need a diagnosis to survive. But I do think it would be psychologically helpful for me. Anyway, your thoughts and opinions are appreciated.

Please excuse my over-use of the word 'obviously' in the above post.

I suspect she is right a diagnosis would in reality not change anything, it is useful in childhood to get some educational needs met but in adult life I don't think it brings much advantage.
I have no doubt she could get you assistance if you want it with managing your anxiety and social skills anyway.
At the end of the day it is only a name.

I have as yet never visited a shrink without remembering 1000 things I thought I should have mentioned afterwards, I have no doubt it is part of the produces and mainly irrelevant

If you think it will be useful then ask for an appointment with your regional autism coordinator for proper diagnosis. There are plenty of benefits to having a full diagnosis and I think its quite remiss of a qualified doctor to say yeah you probably have it but diagnosis is pointless. Who are they to know whether it is pointless or not.

As for higher education, an official diagnosis will help you access loads of useful supports who may help you stay to complete the course.

Write down why you want a diagnosis, include what it will mean for you and if necessary send that.

You dont need a second opinion as such, just someone to confirm whether or not you have the condition. The first opinion kinda confirms what you feel but just wont do so officially.

They work for you, if you pay your taxes, you pay their wages. Get your moneys worth!

I would have a hard time with a professional telling me to look them in the eye. My counselor once told me he was glad see me because he was tired of having to look at. people's faces.

I would hate to be instructed to make eye contact. I'd probably give it a try and stare way too long and my eyes would hurt very quickly, and I'd come out with a migraine, but I'd make the eye contact. And then I'd be mad.

Unless you need services, then I think what she told you is enough validation. That said, it's up to you.