Why do women find confidence attractive?

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Tequila
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02 May 2011, 1:17 pm

Because many women are indecisive and want a man to 'lead' them until that man does something they don't want to do. Then they become decisive in say that "I don't want that".

I think that's it.



techstepgenr8tion
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02 May 2011, 2:47 pm

RightGalaxy wrote:
I wish I could explain it to you better. It not about physical braun like being a black belt or having a gun. It's more. I guess you can say it's feeling "good enough". If a man feels good enough about himself, then the woman reads that as he is good enough for her.

That's saying that if anyone had any period in their childhood where they were picked on that the world will take this judgment as the holy grail in terms of knowledge of what that person is and will do its best to ensure that they are marginalized - in any way possible - right through the end of their life. If its not something that someone can earn their way out of then, really, its an intended appraisal of their genetic self and its held with deliberate and steadfast desire to ignore any gains that they make past that point.

I kind of see the same thing but, at the same time, I think a better way of putting it - society hates what's different, additionally people have different genetic mannerisms and what will always be more important at stage one is physically 'looking' like you should be somebody (ie. the right facial features, gate, etc.) but if you perhaps are somebody but look like a nobody there's no jumping to stage two or three because people have decided at a rather basic level - with no desire to know you - that you're an inexorable loser.

Thankfully from what I can tell that seems to change for most people toward their late 20's and early 30's. For some people, obviously, the way society either labels/mislabels them on knee jerk reflex may very well put them in a place where 'perfect' will never be enough or at the very least they'll have to try hard enough that people will wonder, just by them doing what they feel they have to do, what's wrong with them.

I guess that's why I feel kind of saddened seeing guys or girls here beat themselves up. If the opposite sex *really* doesn't like you - there's no arguing or negotiating with human instinct or pettiness, it's a hard stop and it's as deaf as a tree stump. If you want to try with some well built strategy or framework it will simply sink right into the quicksand. Instinct is resilient to guile or merit, its ordered chaos. Rather than hating yourselves just understand that it's an exercise in futility, that the fairy tales you were fed about what humanity is were all bogus, and go on with your life.


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Erisad
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02 May 2011, 4:08 pm

Confidence is attractive in both sexes. I've been told many times that it's my lack of confidence that keeps men away from me. *shrug* So I don't have to be confident then? Okay, I'll fulfill your stereotypes and be a meek little kitten. :/



Tequila
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02 May 2011, 4:12 pm

A lot of guys want a meek girl to sleep with, and some guys (mainly unsavoury) want a women who is weak-willed so they can control and dominate her.



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02 May 2011, 6:02 pm

For the same reason men want an attractive looking women. It's just how things are.



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02 May 2011, 8:54 pm

I find confidence attractive in women - I like someone strong-minded, a challenge so to speak. Does this make me a woman?


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02 May 2011, 8:54 pm

RightGalaxy wrote:
oppositedirection wrote:
RightGalaxy wrote:
Confidence in a man means that he most likely has the ability to protect the woman.
So if a man could find another way to advertise his ability to protect women would a lack of confidence no longer be a problem? Could one substitute confidence with weight lifting and a passion for martial arts? I'm not convinced that's enough.


I wish I could explain it to you better. It not about physical braun like being a black belt or having a gun. It's more. I guess you can say it's feeling "good enough". If a man feels good enough about himself, then the woman reads that as he is good enough for her. Do you know what I mean? I have it in my head but to express that in a post or with real conversation is hard for me. If someone feels good enough about themself and they love you too, that means their love is selfless or not selfish. Selfish means the man intends to take rather than give. Lack of confidence implies that the gent is needy - that means he will take more than he gives. That's only my opinion. A relationship needs balance. I believe that women wanting confident men to be a mix of whatever kind of animal we humans once were and what we have become nowdays.


+1

Besides, it gets tiresome having to constantly reassure someone that they're a good enough human being.


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techstepgenr8tion
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02 May 2011, 9:33 pm

bucephalus wrote:
I find confidence attractive in women - I like someone strong-minded, a challenge so to speak. Does this make me a woman?

Probably means you're looking for an equal. That might make you kind of metro I suppose but what the heck, you're in good company.


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trojan51
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02 May 2011, 9:35 pm

For the same reason I find confidence in a woman attractive, i think confident women are hot :P



techstepgenr8tion
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02 May 2011, 9:47 pm

Same, a close friend and somewhat of a partner-in-crime mentioned recently that she likes talking to a guy who challenges her in positive ways, someone to grow with as well as to help her grow and I'm sure vice a verse, I couldn't have said it better myself.

I guess that may not necessarily always mean social confidence but confidence in some defined areas where you get to see your partner really shine? It's moving IMO.


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02 May 2011, 9:52 pm

Yeah confidence makes me much more attracted to the woman than if she wasnt confident. Confidence can make up for not having great looks in a woman by a large amount, unless she is like obese or mean or something like that.



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02 May 2011, 9:52 pm

Bethie wrote:
I don't know that this is a gender issue, per se.

I see guys all the time, including here, declaring that they want a woman who's confident, and not one who's insecure.

For me, that makes it seem hopeless.


Haha. Trust me, as a female, you have nothing to fear. The vast majority of females are insecure but yet, somehow, over 85% of all females historically have been in some kind of relationship as implied by the same percentage having given birth. And that's double the amount of males, historically, with descendants living today.



bucephalus
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02 May 2011, 9:56 pm

swbluto wrote:
Bethie wrote:
I don't know that this is a gender issue, per se.

I see guys all the time, including here, declaring that they want a woman who's confident, and not one who's insecure.

For me, that makes it seem hopeless.


Haha. Trust me, as a female, you have nothing to fear. The vast majority of females are insecure but yet, somehow, over 85% of all females historically have been in some kind of relationship as implied by the same percentage having given birth. And that's double the amount of males, historically, with descendants living today.


cheers, I feel much better now:S


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02 May 2011, 10:06 pm

Joker wrote:
Me mother always said you cant teach confidence :D


You can train and practice, though! :)



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02 May 2011, 10:08 pm

It's a good for a girl to be confident, but it's not something that necessarily attracts me to a girl.

To me, kindness and loyalty and respect are much more important. Yes, I'm your typical Middle Eastern dude,



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02 May 2011, 10:15 pm

MCalavera wrote:
It's a good for a girl to be confident, but it's not something that necessarily attracts me to a girl.

To me, kindness and loyalty and respect are much more important. Yes, I'm your typical Middle Eastern dude,


Well I kind expect those things as standard. I think that people who are truly confident tend to have kindness, loyalty and respect built in


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