Social Anxiety? Help!

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I think I also may have social anxiety. Is this common with people on the spectrum? Is there help for it? Also, did you notice people seem to dislike you if you're nervous?

I find that I tend to THINK that people seem to dislike me when I'm nervous, but that's not always the case.

I don't know if it's common or not, but I would guess that it isn't uncommon, because one of the core pieces of ASDs is difficulty with aspects of socializing. If a person has difficulty in social situations, it seems logically more likely that said person would develop anxiety related to social situations because of feeling pressured, confused, overwhelmed, rejected, etc. (I just picked examples from my own experience that led to my social anxiety.....I don't actually know how most people--AS folk or not--experience social interaction emotionally....I'd be interested in others' responses!) Ongoing discomfort or bad experiences related to socializing seems like it could set the stage for anxiety.

There is help for it, there's therapy if you can access it, and self-help books. I don't much more than that because I've not managed to deal with my own social anxiety yet.

I would imagine that it's very common indeed, especially as people with Asperger's grow into adulthood. It's worth looking at some of the Social Anxiety boards, as they deal with that side of it.

The symptoms of Asperger's, OCD, depression and Social Anxiety frequently overlap so it's well worth looking into other disorders too.

I'm starting to feel as if I'm more anxious now than I used to be, because I used to be oblivious about how I appeared to people and now I'm aware of it but still can't really do anything about it, so I get anxious.

That's the thing - it feels a lot like "sitting duck" syndrome. We're ballaxed whatever we do.

I think I definitely have social anxiety. It's very difficult for me to talk to people. I feel very awkward and don't know what to say or how to react to what others have said. But I think it's mostly due to AS. I have trouble understanding the social dance and keeping up with the dance steps.

From what I understand, people with social anxiety are self conscious and worried about what others will think of them, and I am not either of those. If anything I'm worried that I will inadvertently insult someone, but that is not a vague fear but something that actually happens with me.

People with social anxiety are able to overcome their difficulty if they can control their fear and insecurity, but those of us with AS are not. We are only able to get better at it by learning better social skills so that we can somewhat better navigate interactions.

There's a few tools I use to deal with social anxiety. I try to picture a pool of stormy water, roiling and white-capped. I smooth out the water with my mind and find myself relaxing at the same time. If I lack clarity and my thoughts are muddled I try to picture the water as murky, then I imagine it becoming crystal clear, and I become become clear-headed with it.

Another thing that calms me down is playing "The Imperial March" from Star Wars in my head, I'm not sure why.

Another good thing to do is to realize that random people you don't know don't really care about you. They don't care if you look dorky, they don't care if you talk strange, they don't care at all. Just picture them thinking "Meh, whatever."

You can also gather all of your anxiety with your hands and stuff it in an imaginary bag. Then drop the bag behind you as you walk forward. The devil told Keanu Reeves to do this with his guilt in "The Devil's Advocate" but I find it works pretty good for anxiety too.

Lastly, in extreme cases a few drinks could help. I only do this once in a while to gather up the courage to talk to a girl I like.

In my case, the anxiety happens in business settings, because I have to care about what they think of me if I want to make any money. Random people on the street, I don't care what they think, so that doesn't make me very anxious. The worst part is that I am so much better at business interactions than I was 10 years ago because I've learned a lot about them, and I think I'm more anxious about it now, just because I'm more aware of how I seem to others. It's kind of annoying. Most of the time I'm glad to have an explanation for why I am the way that I am, but there are cases where it seems ignorance really was bliss.

I think there's a much deeper connection between ASD and social anxiety. There is even some emerging genetic links between autism and social anxiety disorder:

Autism, affective disorders, and social phobia

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/7485230