RE: Kids w/ Classic Autism, PDD-NOS & Speech Delays

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HisMom
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02 Apr 2015, 3:41 pm

Washi wrote:
Eh ... I've had a a lot of issues through the last few months that I wanted to discuss on here but am too uncomfortable to post much anymore on account of changes that were made to the site.


I couldn't login for several days and the site told me upon my attempts that my account had been banned. I kept trying, regardless, and one fine day, I just could relogin, after all. Did you face that same issue ?

Anyway, I hope that you will feel comfortable enough to share soon. That's why this thread is here for !


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O villain, villain, smiling, damnèd villain!
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That one may smile, and smile, and be a villain.
At least I'm sure it may be so in "Denmark".

-- Hamlet, 1.5.113-116


Washi
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02 Apr 2015, 4:14 pm

No, or if it affected me I was inactive through it and never knew. I think the time limit on how long you have to edit posts is unacceptable. I didn't consent to having my real age made public, I think that's a violation of my privacy. Not sure if they adjusted it a little bit but I wore sunglasses to cope the first few times I saw the new color scheme, if they did it's still not great, it looks like it's shimmering to me. I know there are workarounds but I shouldn't need to use them on a site that's supposed to be for people who are more likely to have those sorts of issues. I reported a necropost and instead of asking the necroposter to start their own thread the moderator somehow managed to make two truncated copies of the thread - so there's three of them now.... I haven't noticed any improvements. I think my diagnosis may have been changed on my profile from "other autism spectrum disorder" to "Have Aspergers-Diagnosed" .... there are other things as well.



cyberdad
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03 Apr 2015, 7:59 pm

HisMom wrote:
Looks like the bookies were right this time around, Cyber Dad. Congratulations !

Although, I must say, I Haddinough of the sledging - and his boorish, drunken interview the day after ! Moral of the story - stay away from the media when you're ...er... "celebrating" ?

Anyway, I wish it hadn't ended. The last several weeks have been such a welcome distraction from the daily deal with autism.. nothing until the Summer now. ARGH !

What's up with everyone else here ? All well ?


Bookmakers are notoriously good at research :wink:

Haddin's antics seem a tad over the top. Unfortunately this seems to be a hallmark of Australian cricket teams (even winning teams) to sledge. It's a culture that started with Ian Chappell's Australian team back in the early 1970s.

I'm looking forward to the tennis!



HisMom
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04 Apr 2015, 12:46 am

cyberdad wrote:

Bookmakers are notoriously good at research :wink:

Haddin's antics seem a tad over the top. Unfortunately this seems to be a hallmark of Australian cricket teams (even winning teams) to sledge. It's a culture that started with Ian Chappell's Australian team back in the early 1970s.

I'm looking forward to the tennis!


I am unfortunately obsessed with cricket to the exclusion of everything else, so I have nothing to watch, or entertain myself with, until May.

A "tad" over the top ? Welllllll......

And, it's not just Haddin. There are many jerks in cricket these days. Haddin's antics just got noticed and condemned more. Cricket is, unfortunately, no longer a "gentleman's game", as there seem to be very few "gentlemen" left, in (or off) the field. At this rate, I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if cricket metamorphoses into a contact sport, 'ere long.

Ian Chappell is still as aggressive and as jerky as ever, even now as a commentator. His remarks irritated, annoyed and rankled... I can understand the patriotism and the feverish wish that his own national team would win, but there was no need for him to be so over-the-top. Martin Crowe and Michael Holding were so much more professional, mellow, and "fair" in their commentary.. but Ian just pissed me off.


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O villain, villain, smiling, damnèd villain!
My tables—meet it is I set it down
That one may smile, and smile, and be a villain.
At least I'm sure it may be so in "Denmark".

-- Hamlet, 1.5.113-116


cyberdad
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04 Apr 2015, 6:59 am

HisMom wrote:

I am unfortunately obsessed with cricket to the exclusion of everything else, so I have nothing to watch, or entertain myself with, until May.

A "tad" over the top ? Welllllll......

And, it's not just Haddin. There are many jerks in cricket these days. Haddin's antics just got noticed and condemned more. Cricket is, unfortunately, no longer a "gentleman's game", as there seem to be very few "gentlemen" left, in (or off) the field. At this rate, I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if cricket metamorphoses into a contact sport, 'ere long.

Ian Chappell is still as aggressive and as jerky as ever, even now as a commentator. His remarks irritated, annoyed and rankled... I can understand the patriotism and the feverish wish that his own national team would win, but there was no need for him to be so over-the-top. Martin Crowe and Michael Holding were so much more professional, mellow, and "fair" in their commentary.. but Ian just pissed me off.


LOL! a cricket tragic! cool! you would have had lots in common with my old man :wink: (Australian colloquialism for my dear old dad). In his generation cricket was a gentleman's game where one followed the hallowed traditions of the Marylebone cricket club in the old country.

I'm afraid those days are long gone. Kerry Packer had much to do with this (making cricket into a commercial circus) along with his mate Ian Chappell and the late Tony Grieg. There's very few old traditions left in the English speaking world with widespread following. The ritual of the Ashes are one of the few left.



cyberdad
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04 Apr 2015, 7:02 am

HisMom wrote:
Ian Chappell is still as aggressive and as jerky as ever, even now as a commentator. His remarks irritated, annoyed and rankled... I can understand the patriotism and the feverish wish that his own national team would win, but there was no need for him to be so over-the-top. Martin Crowe and Michael Holding were so much more professional, mellow, and "fair" in their commentary.. but Ian just pissed me off.


LOL! the entire Australian world cup team in the late 1970s were a bunch of drunken hooligans. I cringe when I think of the likes of Max Walker, Lennie Pascoe and Gary Gilmour.They make Top Gear's Jeremy Clarkson seem like a proper toff!



HisMom
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04 Apr 2015, 1:04 pm

Your sarcasm aside, in labeling me a "cricket tragedy", I don't think traditions *alone* made the game a "gentlemen's game", but also personality traits.

An a@@hole like Chappell is an a@sshole, regardless of where you put him - on the field, in the commentator's box, or even in the toilet. He is just an abusive, aggressive jerk. Was it any wonder then that a thug like him would rapidly cause the game to become just another form of street-fighting ? In contrast, Michael Holding came across as a very dignified fellow, despite his obviously aggressive bowling attack on the field. I liked how he approached commentary with the same quiet self-assuredness that he approached his aggressive fast bowling with ("Whispering Death", :D :D).

I doubt that Holding or Big Bird or Andy Roberts or Walsh (my personal favourite of all time) would have ever resorted to sledging. I believe the practice is more likely to be engaged in by hyenas, rather than by lions. A thug is a thug, and a gentleman is a gentleman.

And, of course, this practice is widespread now because once one team indulges in verbal picketing of their opposition, the opposition wants to get their own back. So, I am not saying that *only* the Aussies were the thugs out there. I am fully aware of the verbal duels that erupted on the field between arch-rivals Bangladesh and India (where insults about each others' mothers and sisters were freely traded) and the way the Proteas' captain and the Black Caps' captain had to swear before their semi-final clash that they wouldn't indulge in anything similar to what transpired between them at Dhaka in 2011.

The fear of heavy fines don't seem to bother the bad-asses anymore, including widespread condemnation of bringing disrepute to the game. Just watch - by the time 2025 rolls around, it'll probably be very hard to figure out if you're watching cricket or American football. There'll be no more rule of "hands and mouths to self" or "quiet mouths" and "hands only for batting or bowling or fielding".

And I'll bet that Chappell's boys will be leading the pack there, too.

You're right in one respect -- I am a cricket tragedy, just like your old man.

Rant over. You may freely chirp in with your sarcasm commentary, CyberDad.


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O villain, villain, smiling, damnèd villain!
My tables—meet it is I set it down
That one may smile, and smile, and be a villain.
At least I'm sure it may be so in "Denmark".

-- Hamlet, 1.5.113-116


cyberdad
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05 Apr 2015, 6:29 pm

HisMom wrote:
Your sarcasm aside, in labeling me a "cricket tragedy", I don't think traditions *alone* made the game a "gentlemen's game", but also personality traits.

An a@@hole like Chappell is an a@sshole, regardless of where you put him - on the field, in the commentator's box, or even in the toilet. He is just an abusive, aggressive jerk. Was it any wonder then that a thug like him would rapidly cause the game to become just another form of street-fighting ? In contrast, Michael Holding came across as a very dignified fellow, despite his obviously aggressive bowling attack on the field. I liked how he approached commentary with the same quiet self-assuredness that he approached his aggressive fast bowling with ("Whispering Death", :D :D).

I doubt that Holding or Big Bird or Andy Roberts or Walsh (my personal favourite of all time) would have ever resorted to sledging. I believe the practice is more likely to be engaged in by hyenas, rather than by lions. A thug is a thug, and a gentleman is a gentleman.

And, of course, this practice is widespread now because once one team indulges in verbal picketing of their opposition, the opposition wants to get their own back. So, I am not saying that *only* the Aussies were the thugs out there. I am fully aware of the verbal duels that erupted on the field between arch-rivals Bangladesh and India (where insults about each others' mothers and sisters were freely traded) and the way the Proteas' captain and the Black Caps' captain had to swear before their semi-final clash that they wouldn't indulge in anything similar to what transpired between them at Dhaka in 2011.

The fear of heavy fines don't seem to bother the bad-asses anymore, including widespread condemnation of bringing disrepute to the game. Just watch - by the time 2025 rolls around, it'll probably be very hard to figure out if you're watching cricket or American football. There'll be no more rule of "hands and mouths to self" or "quiet mouths" and "hands only for batting or bowling or fielding".

And I'll bet that Chappell's boys will be leading the pack there, too.

You're right in one respect -- I am a cricket tragedy, just like your old man.

Rant over. You may freely chirp in with your sarcasm commentary, CyberDad.


My comment over being a cricket tragic was mean't in cheerful jest. I spent many hours of my life watching the game. Nowadays I don't have that luxury due to other commitments.



HisMom
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07 Apr 2015, 11:57 pm

cyberdad wrote:
My comment over being a cricket tragic was mean't in cheerful jest. I spent many hours of my life watching the game. Nowadays I don't have that luxury due to other commitments.



Yes, I know you were just jesting.. was just in a real bad mood that day. Sorry !

Now that WC fever is gone, I have to find something else to occupy my time. And I have in the form of a new found obsession over his self-help skills (or lack thereof).

How are your daughter's self-help skills ? Also, do you do any in-home ABA with her ? Or have you done any in the past ?


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O villain, villain, smiling, damnèd villain!
My tables—meet it is I set it down
That one may smile, and smile, and be a villain.
At least I'm sure it may be so in "Denmark".

-- Hamlet, 1.5.113-116


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12 Apr 2015, 9:39 am

Posting this here as well, in case it is helpful - a visual/icon database of nouns: https://thenounproject.com/



cyberdad
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04 Jun 2015, 6:28 am

HisMom wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
My comment over being a cricket tragic was mean't in cheerful jest. I spent many hours of my life watching the game. Nowadays I don't have that luxury due to other commitments.



Yes, I know you were just jesting.. was just in a real bad mood that day. Sorry !

Now that WC fever is gone, I have to find something else to occupy my time. And I have in the form of a new found obsession over his self-help skills (or lack thereof).

How are your daughter's self-help skills ? Also, do you do any in-home ABA with her ? Or have you done any in the past ?


Her social well being skills need work definitely. Work in progress. Also working on her reading comprehension.



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29 Jul 2015, 1:30 pm

Does anyone else feel temptation to give your kid (your speech delayed kid) whatever they ask for when they ASK?

I am struggling with this because my 13 year old has been asking (mostly VERBALLY!! !) for things a lot lately (this is new for us), which is obviously great. But sometimes I shouldn't or can't give him what he asks for, and then I worry that if I don't, he'll think this talking business doesn't work, and stop doing it. I want him to know that talking is good, so I feel like I have to reward any talking by giving him what he asked for. Is that crazy? Does anyone else feel this way? How do you find a happy medium and stop worrying so much?!?!?!


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01 Aug 2015, 4:45 am

WelcomeToHolland wrote:
Does anyone else feel temptation to give your kid (your speech delayed kid) whatever they ask for when they ASK?

I am struggling with this because my 13 year old has been asking (mostly VERBALLY!! !) for things a lot lately (this is new for us), which is obviously great. But sometimes I shouldn't or can't give him what he asks for, and then I worry that if I don't, he'll think this talking business doesn't work, and stop doing it. I want him to know that talking is good, so I feel like I have to reward any talking by giving him what he asked for. Is that crazy? Does anyone else feel this way? How do you find a happy medium and stop worrying so much?!?!?!


The only crazy is if you don't go overboard with giving him whatever his heart seeks when he asks for them verbally. Are you kidding me, girl ? IF HE VERBALLY ASKS YOU FOR THE MOON, THEN HE GETS THE DAMNED MOON.

Having done Verbal Behaviour for several years, I have learned that catering to their (de)mands is the critical first step in encouraging / motivating them to speak, and to developing their expressive language abilities. When they learn that great things happen when they use their words, they are more likely to use said words for other things - like tacting, and conversations - thereby further expanding their language skills and communication abilities.

Reward, reward, reward every time he uses speech functionally. Then reward some more. Give it a 5 second break, then reward again. You get my drift ? At long last, you are hearing your child's voice. So, make it your business to just focus on hearing that little voice more and more and more.

Don't let anyone (least of all, your own self) worry about "discipline" or some such archaic concept with your child at this critical point of time. Don't feel pressured to use "normal" parenting tactics and don't feel like you have to say "NO" to your kid at any time. You have NO business saying "NO" if he uses functional language, and the need of the hour is for you to transform yourself into his "Yes Woman". Our kids need cheer-leaders, not disciplinarians. The only "happy medium" is to keep him happy and motivated to talk. Damn everything else (at least for the time being). You can worry about other things when he is talking so much that you just want him to shut up for about 3 seconds or so.

Right now, just go for it ! If you hear him use speech, then you transform yourself into the biggest cheer-leading squad the world has ever known.

And, congratulations ! Talking to you and reading about how your son is showing great progress with his language every single day gives me hope. Precious hope that has woefully be in short supply recently in my neck of the woods. So, thank you for posting this. Muchly and gratefully appreciated.


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O villain, villain, smiling, damnèd villain!
My tables—meet it is I set it down
That one may smile, and smile, and be a villain.
At least I'm sure it may be so in "Denmark".

-- Hamlet, 1.5.113-116


cyberdad
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01 Aug 2015, 5:54 am

WelcomeToHolland wrote:
Does anyone else feel temptation to give your kid (your speech delayed kid) whatever they ask for when they ASK?

I am struggling with this because my 13 year old has been asking (mostly VERBALLY!! !) for things a lot lately (this is new for us), which is obviously great. But sometimes I shouldn't or can't give him what he asks for, and then I worry that if I don't, he'll think this talking business doesn't work, and stop doing it. I want him to know that talking is good, so I feel like I have to reward any talking by giving him what he asked for. Is that crazy? Does anyone else feel this way? How do you find a happy medium and stop worrying so much?!?!?!


Yeah I agree with Hismom, positive reinforcement is a great incentive for your son to ask questions even if its just asking for things. Of course within limits.



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01 Aug 2015, 12:50 pm

cyberdad wrote:
Of course within limits.


I think this is key. Maybe you could post specific requests that worry you, and we could respond individually? It's kind of hard to say without knowing: you have to think about the possible negative impact of each individual request.

For a crazy example, if he asks to blow up the car...you would have to say no, right?

But if he wants ice cream for dinner, or to wear socks on his hands, or to listen to the same annoying song over and over; stuff like that - I think the benefit of helping him understand cause and effect is more important, right? I think the rules about limits that we'd set for verbal or NT kids don't really apply unless there are health or safety issues, or it's a boundary that causes distress to someone else (like, if whatever it is keeps you up all night for most nights: at some point you have to look out for your own needs.)



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01 Aug 2015, 1:49 pm

While I know and respect where momsparky and CD are coming from, it is my humble opinion that things like "discipline" and "limits" should take a backseat if they will deter a non-verbal child from being motivated to use speech.

I feel that this is a matter of priorities - while most parents with neurotypical children do discipline and impose limits routinely while parenting their offspring, I don't believe that those "norms" apply to a child who is not NT.

My son is completely non-verbal, and yes, he has limits and knows that he cannot have everything that he brings me or points to.

BUT... BUT, when the blessed day that he discovers his voice comes around, and the blessed moment he actually uses that voice dawns, all discipline and limits (with the exception of any that will endanger his life & safety and those of others around him) will go out the door. And they will stay gone for as long as it takes him to become a fluent and fluid speaker. That's me and my priorities.

YMMV.

Good luck !


_________________
O villain, villain, smiling, damnèd villain!
My tables—meet it is I set it down
That one may smile, and smile, and be a villain.
At least I'm sure it may be so in "Denmark".

-- Hamlet, 1.5.113-116