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k96822
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07 Aug 2006, 8:11 pm

You know, sometimes I think I come on this site just to embarrass myself. But, today I came to an awful realization. I called technical support on the phone and talked to them and, as I was talking, I was using my natural voice, which is high. As I got more excited at them solving my problem (which I thought was going to be a nightmare), I got really high and expressive. So much so, I thought about what it must have sounded like, because the guy was laughing early in the conversation. I even asked him, "What are you laughing at?" in the best non-confrontational way I could.

Well, I brought out my headset and decided to reenact some of the conversation in the same tone and pitch. When I played it back, it sounded like a gay, transexual voice. I speak like that ALL THE TIME and I had NO idea. Nobody ever said anything! I thought that was sounding enthusiastic.

ARRGGGH!

My brother sounds like an idiot to me sometimes, forcing his voice really low that he sounds dopey. Now I know why. He doesn't want to sound like ME.

Yet, another one in a long, continuous string of embarrassments due to lack of insight. I'm both very depressed and very happy to have recognized this. Why must I always feel embarrassed? Well, I guess that is the trade-off for being an aspie.

This explains why a lot of people seem to think I'm gay when I'm not as well.



alex
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07 Aug 2006, 8:13 pm

You need a voice coach or you can try to lower it yourself. I've learned that people don't enjoy listening to a high pitched voice, especially from a guy.


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07 Aug 2006, 10:13 pm

I think I have the same sort of problem with my voice. for the past 4 years i've been working in 2 different call center, and alot of the people that i would get calls from would call me ma'am. at least 50% of the time this would happen. sometimes when i would call someone that doesn't know me, the same thing would happen.



Enigmatic_Oddity
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07 Aug 2006, 11:19 pm

I also have this problem. Whether I would go so far to say that I sounded like a transsexual, I don't know. Probably it does. Mostly it happens when I'm nervous.

I used to do public speaking and one thing I did (and still do in presentations today) is focus on the tone of my voice. When I'm doing a speech, my tone of voice is very low, uncharacteristically so - it even sounds foreign to my ears. I think it is more persuasive and assertive. Unfortunately when I'm just speaking with people this isn't something I think about.



DirtDawg
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08 Aug 2006, 12:55 am

This has always happened to me also. I have a fairly normal deepish voice, but when I get stressed or overexcited I tend to raise the tone. I have had some vocal training for amateur stage and I can do a very powerful 'butch' voice when I use my diaphragm, but I couldn't use that voice inside a building without people stopping in their tracks, with their eyes wide open.

I don't believe that people think I'm gay or anything when my voice goes up, more like they think there's something wrong with me, but the worst part is that I used to try to cover it up by staying in that voice as if I was 'doing a character' or something. People just stared. I have learned that it's just a part of me, and I like me, so screw it.


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Aeturnus
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08 Aug 2006, 2:51 am

I have heard my voice on early tapes from years and years ago, and I talked very fast with a nervous overtone to it. I won't say that it was high-pitched, but it was a bit loud. I was sort of stunned when I heard myself, because I never really paid that much attention to the way I spoke. I actually thought of myself as being weird for speaking like that, but since I have calmed down with my voice quite a bit. I have no idea why, but I guess maybe I am not so hyped up these days.

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larsenjw92286
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08 Aug 2006, 12:35 pm

I speak in an accidentally high voice sometimes.


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waterdogs
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14 Aug 2006, 7:42 pm

yeah this has happend to me, only when im really really exited though or copying someone else when they talk



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18 Aug 2006, 6:09 am

my voice is low now for good. But when it was breaking, my voice went squeaky every now and then regardless of the situation.



grendel
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28 Aug 2006, 4:21 am

I sometimes have my voice go very high when I get excited so nobody can understand it, I just have to stop and calm down. The opposite happens if I am really nervous. When I had to take speech 101 in college (public speaking) and I actually got up to speak my voice would drop about an octave and I gather it was hard to understand. It sounded very unnatural to me.
I don't know what is different about my voice, I guess becuase I hear it from the inside, but people have told me it's "distinctive" or "unique" (probably a nice way of saying something bad). I have had people recognize me merely on the basis of having talked to me on the phone, when they've never met me before (very disconcerting). When I used to work in a call center, callers would tell me that I sounded like an answering machine, and that is when I started trying to vary the tone of my voice a lot more. It sounds very odd when I listen to a recording of my voice, but other people say they feel the same way about their own voice recordings, so I can't figure out what it is. When I ask my parents they say it's because I lisp (not as much as when I was a kid), but I don't think that is all it is.



iamlucille
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28 Aug 2006, 11:21 am

actually, this has happened to me too! (i'm a girl by the way). a few years ago some lady mistook me for a toddler on the phone, and clearly questioned my intelligence. i got so pissed at her.

don't worry about it. i'm sure there are techniques where you can change your voice (if you want to that is). my sister had to do that, well actually she had the opposite problem from you. she's studying opera and she was speaking too low to the point where it was straining her voice, so she got a book and learned to speak in her upper register. i'm sure there are books out there for the opposite purpose! good luck if you feel the need to do anything about it.