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autisticstar
Snowy Owl
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Joined: 30 Jul 2007
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Posts: 125

12 May 2011, 8:15 am

I am in a situation in which I am wondering if the other person is not really interested in being my friend. Whenever I contact her via Facebook she never responds when I post on her wall. I sent her an Easter card and she did not thank me or acknowledge the card when all the other people I sent cards to acknowledged it. I see that she posts regularly on Facebook and comments on others posts all the time. We are in a Toastmasters club together and I notice that she only calls me to ask me if I am going to Toastmasters and if we are going out to dinner together afterwards. On a few occasions I have invited her to join me and my husband for dinner afterwards.

The other day she called me only to tell me that she had no bus money or ATM card on her and asked if my husband and I would pick her up. Well, I understand, things happen. Since I was taking the bus that stopped in front of where she was I met her at the bus stop and gave her some bus money. She did verbally say thank you but she has still continued to ignore my postings on Facebook while at the same time commenting on others and posting on others. I was happy to be able to help her out but it really feels like a one-sided friendship. Should I confront her about it or simply stop contacting her and see if she contacts me about it? I got married about six months ago and I really did not want that to cause a friendship to end. I am just so sad and I don't know what to do. This person by the way is not on the Autism spectrum.



Miyah
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12 May 2011, 12:30 pm

I really think that contacting and politely confronting her would be a good way to go. I would do it by calling her up and leaving a message and then seeing if the two of you could meet somewhere private to speak. I would also leave her a message on facebook and ask her why she is treating you this way? That way that will let her know that the ball is in her court and it will be up to her to contact you in return. However, if she keeps using you like this and treating this way, just drop her.



NeverFitsIn
Tufted Titmouse
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12 May 2011, 4:21 pm

She may not be intentionally ignoring you and may simply not had anything to say on your fb posts. If she is having diner or going to together with you on a regular basis, she may feel she has socialized with you more than some of her folks on fb. But, I would definitely ask her about it, casually, to confirm.

Trust your gut feeling, but act from the perspective of the best possible motivations on the other person's part, at least at first. A couple of conversations should hopefully clear it up, one way or another. I always try to wait for the other person to confirm my worst fears/suspicions before I start the bridge-burning.

The bus fare thing if it is a one-time deal shouldn't be a big deal, but if it happens with any regularity, and you continue to feel ignored, I would consider that kind of behavior a red flag.



namaste
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16 May 2011, 1:10 pm

if someone ignores you on facebook that means they are not interested in you,
i know couple of people who have not added me on facebook even after sending them add request
they never respond to my updates or new photos even though they were my childhood friends
and we lived in same building
this lukewarm response indicates that they have moved on and no longer interested in me.


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