Suggestions for telling your child he has AS

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As parents how did you inform your children that they had AS? As Chris' differences grow more and more obvious we want to be able to discuss things openly with him. As it is now he is always accusing himself of being "stupid" because he is not able to do some of the things other kids his age can do. The other day I told him that he was not stupid but that he was different and that it was okay. The fact that we are all different is what makes the world more interesting. I (Katherine) really wanted to be able to discuss this with Chris and Steve after dinner but Steve was not sure how best we should approach it.

Any ideas, suggestions, personal experiences will be appreciated.

Katherine

Maybe buy him a book about AS. But make sure its a good one, preferably written for his age.

I told my son *immediately* after he was referred for diagnosis. He had just turned 8 years old. We had known for most of his life their was something 'different' and then we moved and a teacher who was 'switched on' said to us that she was 99% sure it was AS and she would get him referred. So I immediately read anything I could find and then I was also sure. I bought Sam a couple of books about AS for children, sat him down, and went through the books with him. I told him not to be scared but that me and his teacher thought he had something called Aspergers Syndrome. I explained that lots of very well known and successful people also had it, and that it meant that he had a special kind of intelligence.
Sam was relieved - he recognised himself in the books straight away. He was sad, too, but mainly relieved.
I think we owe it to our kids to put them in the picture as soon as we are sure.

Good Luck .

i think your child has to be ready for the news. depending on his age and maturity level. we told my son and it was so far above him and still is. you have to also be ready for his reaction. we told my son the basics and he comes to us every so often to ask us questions. but i truly understand the stupid thing.. my son did it before and still does it now. he says he feels stupid because he can't help his crazy behavior.. good luck.

I understand your reasoning, but think, people with as have an understanding impairment, he may never be ready for the news, but he still has a right to know. I was not told until i was 15, being diagnosed at 8 i went through 7 years of torture at the hands of classmates without knowing why, the child MUST be told as soon as possible, and AS MUST be explained as clearly as possible

Hear-Hear!! !! ^^

Children, with or without 'impairments', are individual people in their own right and *deserve* to know anything about themselves that might be in any way relevant to their lives. It is cruel to withold information about the child if it can help that child to understand themselves. Obviously very young children cannot fully appreciate the full implications but it's better that they be told so that they can come and ask for further information as and when they need it. I think it would be horrendous for a child to not be told and then hear adults discussing their 'problems' without involving the child directly. There are definite issues of parent-child trust at risk here.

as i said we told my son. a great deal of AS kids are high funtioning and very intelligent. my son is learning disabled and has difficult times understanding things i explain to him. i agree never hold this info back. all i was saying is that some kids don't have the ability to understand why he is who he is. we told my son soon after the diagnosis but I know he really did not get what I was telling him.. its been 2 years and he ask me questions here and there.. we watch a tv show called All My children. (its an American Soap.) and there is a character called Lilly who has ASD. We told Ryan that he has something very similar. he likes to watch Lilly now and feels he can relate to her.. it was easier for him to relate to her in some way rather than him understand why he is the way he is or better yet he can not understand why he does some of the things he does. when he is very impulsive and can not control his actions he tells people "sorry I got some problems and I get confused" at least he knows that much.. but he tries to use the PROBLEM card when he is bold with my mom and she just gives it to him... maybe he is smart like that.. lol...

^^ I hear what you're saying! .

Thanks for everyone's suggestions. Yes, we do think that he needs to be told sooner than later. We need to pick a time when the little ones are not around so we can dedicate that time to Chris only.

Katherine