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fredpat
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

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Joined: 3 Jun 2022
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Posts: 25
Location: California

11 Aug 2022, 1:21 am

For those autistic who identify themselves as gay or bi, there are some autistic traits that they should be aware of to understand themselves better.
In autism the social gender and sexuality identification is a challenge, since most likely autistic are rejected and no understood by same sex gender. They are not able to build group membership, and consider themselves different to their peers. The rejection in childhood years becomes urgency to acquire friendship that can be confuse as same sex preference. The admiration to same gender qualities men-to-men or woman-to-woman are acknowledged in neuro-tipicals, even though in autistic, this can be confuse to being gay or bi. Any same gender friendship experiences being unsuccessful due to social autistic challenge, can lead to feeling of urgency to posses the same gender friendship, it can be confuse to sexual preferences. As autistic you will find fascinating to have same gender friendship to level of intimacy to be best friends. Event though, this cannot be confuse as the gay or bi, when it can be only autism traits.



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Deinonychus
Deinonychus

Joined: 13 Sep 2020
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 359

14 Aug 2023, 2:42 pm

Since I finally realized that I felt sexual attraction towards people, I immediately knew that I could be attracted to men as much as women without ever questioning it. But I had to wait a very long time before I understood that most people were inherently monosexual, that is to say straight or homosexual and that not all of them were like me (I thought that all people were attracted to all genders but that they had to choose between a heterosexual romance or a homosexual romance).
I discovered the word "bisexuality" at the age of 23.
I thought gay meant "already have attraction to one person of your gender" but I had never understood that it meant "being exclusively attracted by people of your gender". The same goes for heterosexuality but for the fact of "being exclusively attracted to people of the opposite gender".
If I knew right away that I was attracted to all genders, I had a harder time understanding gender norms. I was too locked in my autistic world for that.



Clueless Girly
Emu Egg
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Joined: 5 Sep 2023
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 5
Location: Deep South

05 Sep 2023, 3:24 pm

I was bullied into being lesbian.

I was 15 and some butch girl came up to me and threatened to beat me up if I wouldn't be her girlfriend. She was very aggressive.

I just thought I was a lesbian until I was about 26 and realised I liked men and enjoyed the sex part too. I didn't like lesbian sex.


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spasmolytic
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

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Joined: 4 Sep 2023
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 52
Location: Tampa Bay, FL

05 Sep 2023, 7:49 pm

Honestly, I never had a reason to assume I wasn't. Heteronormativity never really infected my brain.



Panda_Paraglide
Emu Egg
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Joined: 10 Sep 2023
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 1
Location: Madrid

10 Sep 2023, 4:36 am

How I knew? Well, I guess that's just like asking how someone understood that they were awake. It has always just been who I am.



PerfectlyDarkTails
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Joined: 13 Mar 2012
Age: 36
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 797
Location: Wales

26 Nov 2023, 12:09 pm

I’ve had a thing for nothing in particular all my life, I’d liked to have a thing for other guys years later, complicated as being trans fem. Puberty was pathologically to be 5 years late. I’ve kept to a ‘open to all’ whenever that happens, identifying as Bi, despite have had only Aromantic Asexual experiences so far at 36 years of age


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"When you begin to realize your own existence and break out of the social norm, then others know you have completely lost your mind." -PerfectlyDarkTails

AS 168/200, NT: 20/ 200, AQ=45 EQ=15, SQ=78, IQ=135


jamie0.0
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

Joined: 29 Sep 2023
Age: 27
Gender: Male
Posts: 355
Location: melbourne, australia

30 Nov 2023, 5:33 am

I never really thought I was completly straight, ever since I could comprehend romance, I've always been attracted to boys.
If I had to put a timeframe on it, it was when I was 12, I had my first serious relationship with a girl that didn't last long, she was a lovely girl, but I just couldn't get close to her like you would expect to be close to a significant other our interests and views just didn't match.
After that I decided to strictly date other guys in hopes to find someone that I can be 100% open with.



yurguardianangel
Deinonychus
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Joined: 29 Jun 2017
Gender: Male
Posts: 322
Location: UK

01 Dec 2023, 9:07 am

Pansexual.
However I never been with a non-binary,transgender,gender fluid,etc person.
However I'm attracted to all genders,I don't care about the parts.I care about the person,personality,certain style/looks too. I'm very attracted as a preference to other alternative people/emo/goth/punk/skater,etc.


I've had 4 ex gfs,and 2 ex bfs.



NibiruMul
Pileated woodpecker
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Joined: 1 Dec 2023
Age: 32
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Posts: 177
Location: Long Island, New York

01 Dec 2023, 6:57 pm

I'm bisexual. I knew I was bisexual because I always found myself attracted to men, yet I still found myself attracted to women as well. It took quite a while for me to embrace my bisexuality. I didn't come out until I was 23, and even then, the only person in my family I've come out to was my mother. (She didn't have a problem with it.) I'm generally more open to coming out to people around my age and younger than older people because younger people tend to be more accepting of LGBT people.



Harmonie
Snowy Owl
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Joined: 14 Jan 2024
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 127

15 Jan 2024, 2:22 pm

I was attracted other girls as soon as I felt attraction (in middle school or thereabouts). But I certainly felt the pressure that I should like guys as well, because that's "normal".

As an adult, I am struggling with my sexuality. Both in whether or not I am actually bi and if I fit somewhere on the ace spectrum.

It's still uncertain to me if I actually like men, or if I just want to like men because that's what is expected. I'm deeply confused. I am trying to push myself toward trying a straight relationship someday. I just don't know if it's really me, and I might end up badly hurting some guy.

As for potentially be on the ace spectrum, well I have touch aversion... Or at least it fluxuates. I haven't had a physical romantic relationship in over 15 years. I do not even know if I could be in one now. I'm confused on this as well. However, seeing as touch aversion is more an autism thing than an ace thing, I'm beginning to see this in a new light.


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Diagnosed with ADHD, Strongly Suspecting I'm also Autistic


Fern
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Joined: 6 May 2011
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17 Jan 2024, 11:32 pm

Quote:
How Did You Know You Were Gay/Bi?

You'd think that enjoying making out with my female friends in middle school, then male friends in college, would have been a dead giveaway, but no. It took me till my 30's to admit to myself that I was bisexual / pansexual.



yurguardianangel
Deinonychus
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Joined: 29 Jun 2017
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Posts: 322
Location: UK

18 Jan 2024, 7:33 am

I feel much much more into guys lately.
Women don't do anything for me anymore.



colliegrace
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18 Jan 2024, 7:55 pm

I am primarily aroace. But in the grey area of those spectrums.

I developed feelings for one of my friends about 7 years ago. Those feelings haven't faded, in some ways they've become more intense. Demiromantic is probably the most fitting label, it means that I can develop romantic feelings after knowing someone for a long time or forming a deep friendship bond.

I am grey-ace, meaning in my case that I experience sexual attraction but don't want real-life sex. I find women sexually appealing, but don't want to actually have sex with anyone.

Sooo, yeah. Aroace lesbian.


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ASD, most likely have dyscalculia & BPD as well. Also dx'd ADHD-C, but don't think it's accurate.
RAADs: 104 | ASQ: 30 | Aspie Quiz: 116/200 (84% probability of being atypical)

Also diagnosed with: seasonal depression, anxiety, OCD


Punkrockfan
Blue Jay
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Joined: 17 Oct 2020
Age: 19
Gender: Female
Posts: 78
Location: Virginia, USA

27 Jan 2024, 4:16 am

Honestly, I think I may have had feelings for men and women on and off my whole life, but I really started questioning my sexuality in November 2020 and I really discovered I was bisexual last year in 2023.