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kittie
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14 May 2011, 9:04 pm

Odd question, but yeah, asking different people this gets surprisingly varied responses and I find it really interesting. :)



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14 May 2011, 9:09 pm

I think I always knew I liked women, I just repressed it for a while. First became aware of an attraction at 14 and came out at 16.


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Bloodheart
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14 May 2011, 9:17 pm

I liked girls - tada! :P

One of my first crushes was a girl called Christine in primary school when I was about 6 years old, and growing-up things didn't change - although I've always been more into men than women there has always been an attraction to women too, generally in my mind people have always been people so race, gender, sex, ethnicity, etc. hasn't been restrictive when it comes to attraction.

I didn't 'come out' until high school when I was 15 years old - had a crush on a girl called Charlotte who had beautiful petite hands, my friends kept subtly teasing me about it until I finally admitted I liked girls too, their response was "we already knew".


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Last edited by Bloodheart on 15 May 2011, 8:27 am, edited 1 time in total.

mori_pastel
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14 May 2011, 10:08 pm

I didn't figure out I liked girls until I was 19. Just another example of me being hopelessly unaware of my own feelings.

This story is really so stupid. I was at a play at my college. I had just kissed the second guy I'd ever kissed earlier in the week and there was just nothing to it. None of that magical fluffy stuff you see on TV. It felt just like pressing lips on lips. And I just sort of got the feeling that the problem wasn't the guy, it was all guys. I was considering that maybe I was just asexual. I was really obsessing over this.

So, I was at this play I had to see for class, obsessing over that stupid, gross kiss when all of the sudden this chick starts belly dancing on stage. My knee-jerk reaction was to look away, but suddenly there's this little voice in my head saying "No. You wanted to know, now look." So I looked.

That's how I knew. Dumbest way ever.



gailryder17
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14 May 2011, 10:32 pm

It was when I learned I have a crush on my best friend. At first I thought I was making it up, but then I became more aware of how attracted I was to her body. It wasn't purely that, because we were close friends who were in love with each other's personalities. Now, I'm intensely aware of my attraction. That's how I figured it out.



Descartes
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14 May 2011, 10:33 pm

I've always had a fondness for other guys, ever since I was in preschool. It wasn't until I was twelve years old when I really became aware of my attraction toward guys. When I was fourteen, I declared myself bisexual. When I was about fifteen or sixteen, I came to the conclusion that I was gay.


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hyperlexian
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14 May 2011, 11:58 pm

i had some crushes and attraction to girls in my early teens, and one experimental experience. but i put it aside because i had issues of self-loathing that ended up translating into a certain distaste for the female body. i got over it bit by bit...

and i became more open about it a few years ago. it sort of became stronger when i started to have intimate dreams about women.


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SammichEater
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15 May 2011, 12:45 am

I've never known what my sexuality is, so I just say I'm bi. Sometimes I'm attracted to women, sometimes I'm attracted to other men. Either way it doesn't really matter much to me.


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15 May 2011, 6:53 am

Well, I've always found the male body attractive, I just refused to admit it to myself. I just thought that I was jealous of these people for having good bodies, and if I ever got into that good shape my attraction would go away. I did have a few crushes on girls over the years, so I figured I was straight. But looking back I realize that the attraction was not remotely sexual and I think I was just fixating and amplifying these crushes because I expected myself to be straight. I used to feel really envious whenever I saw a guy who (I realize now) I kind of liked in a relationship. I thought that I was envious of this guy (who'd usually be very smart and motivated and a bit nerdy--in short, someone I'd like) for managing to get a girlfriend, but really I was envious of the girl for having a guy like that for a boyfriend. Anyway, a few months ago I sort of realized how I feel no attraction whatsoever for the female body, while I continued to find the male body attractive. I slowly came to accept the fact that I was gay.



Zen
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15 May 2011, 11:09 am

Because I was attracted to guys? :lol:
I never really went through any of the self-denial that a lot of people seem to. I tried to hide it from other people when I was in school, but that's because they didn't need more fuel for bullying. I've had crushes on males since kindergarten. When I hit puberty, I had fantasies about male celebrities. Knowing happened at the same time that I understood what it meant. I don't really remember how old I was. I just remember going to the library and reading encyclopedia entries and such about it. How's that for nerdy? :lol: The worst part is that one of the first things I read was from when homosexuality was considered a psychological disorder, so some of those ridiculous theories are forever stuck in my mind (even though I don't believe them).



dossa
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15 May 2011, 11:49 am

I always knew. I recall being a child and I had a crush on the big sister of a boy in my class. This was after I had a crush on a neighbor boy, and no one reacted poorly to that, so I told my mother about the girl I liked at some point. My mother tried to tell me that I did not really have a crush on her, rather I wanted to be like her. I tried to explain to her that she was wrong. I did not understand what her problem was. It confused me that people expected me to only like people of the opposite sex. It was as bizarre a concept to me as someone saying that I could not like someone because they had brown hair like I did.


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Cornflake
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15 May 2011, 12:52 pm

It's just one of those things I've always known, well before puberty, and it's never been a problem or something for worry or doubt.
Like Zen, the worst it got for me was on discovering it was (then) considered a psychological disorder but even back then I remember thinking this was pretty ridiculous and based on far too narrow a view of sexuality.

I've never found the female body to be sexually attractive in any way at all, but there's a certain 'generic' beauty to be found in many things and on that level, I'd include females (and a recent example which springs to mind is Pippa, Kate Middleton's sister, as she appeared in the recent wedding. Just stunningly beautiful). Otherwise; not so much as even a hint of a crush on a girl.
I have had a few girl friends in the past but they were just interesting/fun because of what they did or said like any friend would be.
But males? Ah well, that's entirely different. There are just so many immediately attractive aspects working on so many different levels, it's difficult to list them.
And crushes on guys? Oh dear God they're endless and endlessly amusing. :lol:

I've deliberately kept quiet about it in the past because it was clear that in various situations, others knowing would have definitely made things very difficult and it would have been wholly counter-productive to mention it.
These days I don't run around blowing a trumpet about it, or even feel the need to tell people - but if they do ask, then I'll tell. 8)


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puddingmouse
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15 May 2011, 1:39 pm

It seemed strange since early childhood to talk of only falling in love with the opposite gender. I sensed there was something odd about me in that regard from a very young age but I didn't know what it was exactly. I saw the word 'bisexual' in a dictionary, or an encyclopaedia (I can't remember which) when I was 13. I figured that was probably what I am but I didn't feel the need to tell anyone. I thought 99.9999% of people were straight anyway, so I didn't expect to ever be able to have a girlfriend (I still feel that way sometimes, today). I didn't even really know that some people might have a problem with it. I thought of it more as some kind of genetic abnormality, like my being left-handed. I also thought that it must be super-rare because I didn't know anyone else who had it. Yes, I know that sounds incredibly sheltered for a kid growing up in the third gayest city in the world, but bear with me, I was very nerdy :lol:

Homophobia as a reality didn't really hit home until I was 15 and I realised that some of my family were gay and that was why some other family members shunned them. Some of my friends at school also came out. I also realised that my (then) religion wasn't happy with it. I went back and forth between atheism and religion for quite a number of years. I find no matter what religion I investigate (I'm not going pagan because that's what all the other bi girls do :lol:), it has a problem with me and who I am on a fundamental level. So, I've come to the conclusion that religions feed on self-hatred.

I was very gay at 15. I was always perving on women. I mean like really bad straight teenage male style perving. I'm almost embarrassed by it now, though part of me wishes I still had that uninhibited lust and curiosity. Despite my lustfulness, I was determined to not let my family and other potential homophobes know. I experimented when I got a bit older and left home for uni. I've had a couple of boyfriends and live with the second one currently. I'm still a real queer one, me.


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AstroGeek
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15 May 2011, 5:52 pm

puddingmouse wrote:
I also realised that my (then) religion wasn't happy with it. I went back and forth between atheism and religion for quite a number of years. I find no matter what religion I investigate (I'm not going pagan because that's what all the other bi girls do :lol:), it has a problem with me and who I am on a fundamental level. So, I've come to the conclusion that religions feed on self-hatred.

Unitarianism? Not that I have a problem with someone lacking religion (I'm an atheist myself), but just thought I'd through that out there.



StoneRobot
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16 May 2011, 8:02 pm

I was in denial for a few years, I have to tell you. Firstly, I'm transgender and mostly attracted to guys, so I assumed I was just a straight girl. Secondly, I was mostly asexual (funny story how I fixed that, but I'm not allowed to repeat it in polite society), so it was easy to confuse any attraction I might have had toward women for a general appreciation of their aesthetic beauty. I even took an online quiz, and it said that I was straighter than most straight women. Of course, the reason that I took that quiz was because I found myself feeling strangely... drawn... to boobies. It's a fact; I am partial to breasts. (Also hair and faces, but those aren't traditionally woman-specific.)

I denied it until I gained a sex drive. Shortly after that I realized that there were actually a lot of women that I had been attracted to over the years and had just been ignoring it. So I came out to a couple of close family members (as well as the Internets) as bisexual. Then I learned that my attraction is an unpredictable beastie that is easily manipulated (I can actually program myself to become attracted to more things if I want) and not really restricted by gender boundaries and so I re-came out as pansexual.



the_curmudge
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18 May 2011, 8:35 pm

I always knew exactly who I was. I also felt it was better to keep it hidden while my life was under control of my parents and other authority figures. I went through the motions of the straight relationships that were expected of me, but always with a sense of just biding my time.