GIRLS: Would you date/marry a guy like me?

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take your pick
yes 8%  8%  [ 2 ]
maybe if you change a bit 29%  29%  [ 7 ]
no 63%  63%  [ 15 ]
Total votes : 24

CaptainTrips222
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17 May 2011, 10:33 pm

aldilacuna wrote:
Feminine like cupping my face, appreciating chick flicks as equally or more than action movies, appreciating romantic music, cute animals, cute plush toys and cute drawn 'creatures', wanting to lean my head on the shoulder/head of a girl I like, wanting to hug her, moaning my heart out (with probably a lower voice than a girl) when I touch myself if no one is in the house etc.


Hmmm....



ShutUpMeg
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18 May 2011, 8:23 pm

I'm not into feminine guys at all. Shy and nice guys are cool but sensitive & romantic guys creep me out with their...feelings. Everything else is a maybe except for you not wanting kids, which I want yesterday. So I'd have to say no.

Tomboy-Average; library/bookstore



hale_bopp
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18 May 2011, 11:02 pm

ShutUpMeg wrote:
I'm not into feminine guys at all. Shy and nice guys are cool but sensitive & romantic guys creep me out with their...feelings. Everything else is a maybe except for you not wanting kids, which I want yesterday. So I'd have to say no.

Tomboy-Average; library/bookstore


lol love your username.



ShutUpMeg
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19 May 2011, 9:31 pm

Quote:

lol love your username.


Thanks :)



Chronos
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19 May 2011, 11:06 pm

aldilacuna wrote:
If yes, can you describe yourself a little (e.g. tomboy, average or girly; library, bar, dance club, gym) so I can look for girls with similar traits and know where they hang out? If no, please drop me a 'no' if you don't mind. Thanks.

I am a shy, feminine guy who needs to be asked out. I am afraid of the dark and am disgusted of spiders but can get rid of them. I am a visual and musical person who is somewhat knowledgeable. I enjoy games and shows more than sports but can do sports at a decent (but not out-right impressive) level with you if you enjoy it a lot. I am about 5'6" to 6" tall. My body size is slander to average without too much muscles since I don't work out. I have good eye sight. I can take care of myself and am fairly tidy. I really think I have Asperger's and do not want kids.


Feminine how? Emotionally? Then no, I wouldn't date you. Physically? Depends how.
If you just happen to be one of those shorter ectomorphs with really thin wrists and delicate features, and your quietness and interests that lean towards cultured and intellectual rather than sports gives the illusion that you are feminine, then I wouldn't necessarily be opposed to dating you, but if you are actually womanly, as in you look like a woman or act like a woman, then no, I wouldn't date you.

If you are so shy that you are horribly passive however, and really do need to be asked out, then no, I wouldn't date you, and I would recommend you work on building your self confidence. As long as you are not hideous or have poor hygiene, women put more weight on personality than physique.



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19 May 2011, 11:21 pm

If by feminine man you mean will never stand up for your woman when others are being mean to her then NO.

Aspergers? YES.

Shy and need to be asked out? NO. Why? As a woman I'm tired of it. Men expect women to initiate when I was raised to believe that if a man likes you he will initiate. If he does not then he just doesn't like you.

I am tired of being the man in relationships. It goes against my nature and feminism really does not mean BE A MAN. It's sad that women feel like they have to be men to fit in now.

Slender? yummy.

You don't want kids? Okay.

You don't care about politics? BIG PLUS



Erisad
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19 May 2011, 11:29 pm

Not enough detail. I usually determine whether I'd go out with someone based on how we interact with one another. If there's no chemistry...then no. Not gonna force what ain't there.



leviathans
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21 May 2011, 11:23 pm

I also feel feminine like you! But I kill spiders without remorse :x and I'm tall and I have a pretty manly body.
I definitively want to be the girl in the relationship! I want to feel protected.

The girls comments for now are not very encouraging for guys like us... :(
I think the best girls for us would be bisexual queers.

Btw, I also moan really loudly :lol:

TheygoMew wrote:
If by feminine man you mean will never stand up for your woman when others are being mean to her then NO.


This has nothing to do with being feminine. I would expect any girl to stand up for their boyfriend! A feminine man would do the same. A feminine man likes to feel protected by his lover, but he will obviously stand up for his girlfriend/boyfriend.



littlelily613
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22 May 2011, 12:43 am

aldilacuna wrote:
If yes, can you describe yourself a little (e.g. tomboy, average or girly; library, bar, dance club, gym) so I can look for girls with similar traits and know where they hang out? If no, please drop me a 'no' if you don't mind. Thanks.

I am a shy, feminine guy who needs to be asked out. I am afraid of the dark and am disgusted of spiders but can get rid of them. I am a visual and musical person who is somewhat knowledgeable. I enjoy games and shows more than sports but can do sports at a decent (but not out-right impressive) level with you if you enjoy it a lot. I am about 5'6" to 6" tall. My body size is slander to average without too much muscles since I don't work out. I have good eye sight. I can take care of myself and am fairly tidy. I really think I have Asperger's and do not want kids.


I picked maybe if you change a bit, but I should explain that. First of all, I don't believe anyone in a relationship should have to change; it's just that everything sounded great until I arrived at the last statement. I want kids, and I do not think I would ever consider marrying someone who is certain they do not.

Other than that, I tend to go for shy guys because I do not like people who are the life of the party. They would, however, have to be able to be a bit more talkative than me to help keep conversation moving. Although, with the right guy, I like to think that wouldn't be a huge issue anyway.

When you say feminine...I guess it depends on what you mean by feminine. Lots of men are considered slightly feminine and they are man enough for me. If you are more feminine than I, then that might be an issue.

I don't care about someone's fears because I have plenty of my own that a guy would have to accept. Being afraid of the dark is one thing, but I would not sleep with the lights on every night, so I guess it depends on how afraid. Spiders could be an issue because I have arachnophobia. My future husband does not need to love spiders. He can even be scared of them...but not so scared that he cannot kill them for me because I know I can't do it. If we are both too scared, then our house would be crawling with spiders! LOL Everything else you mention (besides the no kids thing) sound like my type.

As for where you could find someone like me? I don't know if you would want someone like me...... I have severe HFA and am usually in my house. When I am out, I am in class or at work.



hale_bopp
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22 May 2011, 5:30 am

leviathans wrote:
I also feel feminine like you! But I kill spiders without remorse :x and I'm tall and I have a pretty manly body.
I definitively want to be the girl in the relationship! I want to feel protected.

The girls comments for now are not very encouraging for guys like us... :(
I think the best girls for us would be bisexual queers.

Btw, I also moan really loudly :lol:

TheygoMew wrote:
If by feminine man you mean will never stand up for your woman when others are being mean to her then NO.


This has nothing to do with being feminine. I would expect any girl to stand up for their boyfriend! A feminine man would do the same. A feminine man likes to feel protected by his lover, but he will obviously stand up for his girlfriend/boyfriend.


Your best bet is a lesbian (pointless to try) or a bossy girl who likes to boss men around and do their bidding (plenty of these out there).

In world of warcraft terms you would be the voidwalker to the warlock.



sunshower
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22 May 2011, 7:05 am

aldilacuna wrote:
If yes, can you describe yourself a little (e.g. tomboy, average or girly; library, bar, dance club, gym) so I can look for girls with similar traits and know where they hang out? If no, please drop me a 'no' if you don't mind. Thanks.

I am a shy, feminine guy who needs to be asked out. I am afraid of the dark and am disgusted of spiders but can get rid of them. I am a visual and musical person who is somewhat knowledgeable. I enjoy games and shows more than sports but can do sports at a decent (but not out-right impressive) level with you if you enjoy it a lot. I am about 5'6" to 6" tall. My body size is slander to average without too much muscles since I don't work out. I have good eye sight. I can take care of myself and am fairly tidy. I really think I have Asperger's and do not want kids.


It would be close to impossible to tell without meeting you. I would never date someone that I hadn't gotten to know and developed an attraction for IRL. There are too many different factors to take into account.

I'm assuming you're doing this partly as a social research project (to get an idea about what type of girls are interested in what type of guys, what your chances are with different types of girls, etc) so I will answer as best I can for knowledge acquisition purposes and social learning.

If you mean "shy" in the sense that you're introverted and not necessarily loud, that wouldn't be a turn off for me. If you mean "shy" as in weak willed, or unconfident, then I wouldn't date you. I am a very strong willed person and I need somebody who could match me and keep me in check - plus I get impatient with weak willed people in a relationship or dating context. As I am a strong willed person I am not afraid to be the initiator to ask out somebody I like, and have done so on several occasions, so not being the initiator wouldn't be a problem. Feminine would probably be a plus in my eyes, in terms of being cleanly, sensitive, conscious of appearance, and cultured, as long as it was combined with being strong willed. This combination is ideal to me - feminine yet hard in the way I am hard. Maturity and emotionally deep is also a plus, and high intelligence is a must. The combination of factors that I find attractive is complex, thus I rarely meet guys I feel attracted to.

I'd say I can be both tomboy and girly depending on my mood which is fairly complex and shifts a lot. As far as hanging out - I'm a huge book and academic learning person, so a library would be the place to be, but I am also a musician and art fan, so basically any place of culture, or a park because I like the outdoors and get creative inspiration from nature.

My advice to you is to work on your communication skills IRL, and work on meeting as many interesting people as possible - the more people you meet, the more practice you get, and the better idea you have of your own strong points and weak points as well as what you're looking for in a partner. In my opinion (this is my opinion, which I know many people disagree with) looking for a partner online is a waste of time. You are unlikely to find a truly complex, deep, satisfying, intellectual partnership by placing a message such as what you have posted (listing mostly arbitrary facts about yourself that say very little on a deeper or more individual level) unless you get very lucky, and hit the jackpot.


_________________
Into the dark...


aldilacuna
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22 May 2011, 8:41 am

Thanks for the replies so far, but I just want to clear a few things up.

I made this topic not to see if I can get into a relationship with someone online but just to get a rough idea as to how many girls out of, say, 100 would find me relationship material, so I can have a slightly better idea of my chances in finding someone who'd like me IRL and where I can find her.

I don't like being alone in the dark (as long as the one keeping me company is not a ghost, thief, rapist or serial killer) in quiet unfamiliar outdoor areas, in a quiet building that has its lights off and I need to walk through or get out of it, or in the living room of a big home when nobody else is around at night.

I somewhat cringe at spiders, but I can flush them down the toilet after finding the right tools to get at them.

Please also read my other posts in this thread (this is the forth). Thanks.



Jonsi
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22 May 2011, 9:08 am

I wouldn't date you even if I was a woman. You lost me when you created a thread like this. :P



ToadOfSteel
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22 May 2011, 9:16 am

Here's a question concerning shyness and personality: what about someone like me? If I have the trust and confidence of those around me, I can be quite an effective leader without much of a problem, and without being too much of a hard-ass either. But in unfamiliar situations I can't do anything. I can carry on conversations with friends for hours, but I can't say hi to a stranger even if you paid me a million bucks...



Jonsi
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22 May 2011, 9:24 am

ToadOfSteel wrote:
Here's a question concerning shyness and personality: what about someone like me? If I have the trust and confidence of those around me, I can be quite an effective leader without much of a problem, and without being too much of a hard-ass either. But in unfamiliar situations I can't do anything. I can carry on conversations with friends for hours, but I can't say hi to a stranger even if you paid me a million bucks...
Unless you learn how to gain the trust and confidence of a stranger, you're screwed. Who knows though. People are as various as the mysteries of existence. Which includes women. Some might like that.