I don't think I'll ever get married

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CaptainTrips222
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17 May 2011, 10:00 pm

I've seen enough marriages fall apart, and heard enough horror stories, so why put myself through that? That, and so many guys cheat on their wives it makes me doubt my own innate fidelity. I'm starting to wonder if humans are even designed for permanent monogamy.



MXH
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17 May 2011, 10:09 pm

Because you cant do it doesnt mean humans were/werent designed for it. Im getting tired of people using that as an excuse to sleep around.



EgyptianCat
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17 May 2011, 10:13 pm

I'm too sensitive for this thread... I wonder why I reply and say this. I talk to myself a lot on the forums, don't I?
There are guys like me that do want a real marriage, I don't want s*x until after marriage.
I'd prefer love, and I have been waiting for the right girl for years~ (:



CaptainTrips222
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17 May 2011, 11:55 pm

MXH wrote:
Because you cant do it doesnt mean humans were/werent designed for it. Im getting tired of people using that as an excuse to sleep around.


What do you mean just because I can't do it. Half of all marriages end in divorce. And no, some people just are not designed for long term monogamy. If they want to screw around, that's up to them.



MXH
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18 May 2011, 2:19 am

CaptainTrips222 wrote:
MXH wrote:
Because you cant do it doesnt mean humans were/werent designed for it. Im getting tired of people using that as an excuse to sleep around.


What do you mean just because I can't do it. Half of all marriages end in divorce. And no, some people just are not designed for long term monogamy. If they want to screw around, that's up to them.

Half of marriages ending in divorce has more to do with the new age thought of instead of working to fix things its easier to just dump my partner. Socially speaking marriage is down the drain.

And again I shall repeat myself. Not designed for monogamy is not the same as not wanting to put the effort into it.



Solvejg
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18 May 2011, 3:50 am

MXH wrote:
CaptainTrips222 wrote:
MXH wrote:
Because you cant do it doesnt mean humans were/werent designed for it. Im getting tired of people using that as an excuse to sleep around.


What do you mean just because I can't do it. Half of all marriages end in divorce. And no, some people just are not designed for long term monogamy. If they want to screw around, that's up to them.

Half of marriages ending in divorce has more to do with the new age thought of instead of working to fix things its easier to just dump my partner. Socially speaking marriage is down the drain.

And again I shall repeat myself. Not designed for monogamy is not the same as not wanting to put the effort into it.


A lot of marriages end because of some type of abuse. I stuck out my marriage longer then i should have for my children and i didn't want the stigma of having failed.

If there is some abuse, any abuse the relationship should be able to cease without everyone saying that they should give it another go.


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CaptainTrips222
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18 May 2011, 3:56 am

MXH wrote:
CaptainTrips222 wrote:
MXH wrote:
Because you cant do it doesnt mean humans were/werent designed for it. Im getting tired of people using that as an excuse to sleep around.


What do you mean just because I can't do it. Half of all marriages end in divorce. And no, some people just are not designed for long term monogamy. If they want to screw around, that's up to them.

Half of marriages ending in divorce has more to do with the new age thought of instead of working to fix things its easier to just dump my partner. Socially speaking marriage is down the drain.

And again I shall repeat myself. Not designed for monogamy is not the same as not wanting to put the effort into it.


I suffered some abuse, so that might be why I never learned to trust or commit. In my case, it's both. Whether through conditioning or genetics, I'm not designed for long term monogamy and seeing as I cant put a woman through that, I wont make the effort.



Subotai
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18 May 2011, 3:58 am

Solvejg wrote:
MXH wrote:
CaptainTrips222 wrote:
MXH wrote:
Because you cant do it doesnt mean humans were/werent designed for it. Im getting tired of people using that as an excuse to sleep around.


What do you mean just because I can't do it. Half of all marriages end in divorce. And no, some people just are not designed for long term monogamy. If they want to screw around, that's up to them.

Half of marriages ending in divorce has more to do with the new age thought of instead of working to fix things its easier to just dump my partner. Socially speaking marriage is down the drain.

And again I shall repeat myself. Not designed for monogamy is not the same as not wanting to put the effort into it.


A lot of marriages end because of some type of abuse. I stuck out my marriage longer then i should have for my children and i didn't want the stigma of having failed.

If there is some abuse, any abuse the relationship should be able to cease without everyone saying that they should give it another go.


So true, and in the past divorce was much less socially acceptable so often people would just silently accept their situations.



deadeyexx
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18 May 2011, 4:25 pm

CaptainTrips222 wrote:
I'm starting to wonder if humans are even designed for permanent monogamy.


I don't believe we were. The only purpose for marriage is to create a functional family unit for raising children.

It's silly to base something so legally binding on emotions.



Laz
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18 May 2011, 4:56 pm

Being the child of a divorced couple. I don't think it filled me with a terribly positive first impression of marriage. I would only "use" such an arrangement if it were for the purposes of migration. I'm currently in the process of watching a friend of mine preparing for his marriage in november and being privy to the whole process I'm just being put off more and more by the idea it isn't helping :lol:


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CaptainTrips222
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19 May 2011, 6:13 am

deadeyexx wrote:
CaptainTrips222 wrote:
I'm starting to wonder if humans are even designed for permanent monogamy.


I don't believe we were. The only purpose for marriage is to create a functional family unit for raising children.

It's silly to base something so legally binding on emotions.


Yeah. I think marriage probably came about as a result of convenience. I refuse to bind myself to an institution that has resulted in so much frustration and misery for so many. And children just don't disappear after a divorce. Money, time, emotions, why bother with it.



LikeGreenAndBlue
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20 May 2011, 9:32 am

I don't think I will ever get married either. A girl will have to be crazy to want a relationship with me right now as I am unemployed, I can't drive a car like (most) normal people do and have other health and obesity problems.

All I can do is to stay positive though because there is always hope.



Last edited by LikeGreenAndBlue on 20 May 2011, 6:13 pm, edited 3 times in total.

Tequila
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20 May 2011, 9:39 am

CaptainTrips222 wrote:
I've seen enough marriages fall apart, and heard enough horror stories, so why put myself through that? That, and so many guys cheat on their wives it makes me doubt my own innate fidelity. I'm starting to wonder if humans are even designed for permanent monogamy.


What kind of relationship do you want in your life? Marriage, singledom with many female friends, living together, singleness, casual sex? There are lots of options. I think a lot of us will probably just end up swinging from one to the other and back again as our circumstances change.



AngelKnight
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21 May 2011, 12:06 am

CaptainTrips222 wrote:
I've seen enough marriages fall apart, and heard enough horror stories, so why put myself through that? That, and so many guys cheat on their wives it makes me doubt my own innate fidelity. I'm starting to wonder if humans are even designed for permanent monogamy.


@CaptainTrips222, it may be more productive to be concerned with whether *you* are designed for permanent monogamy; let each member of the rest of the human race be responsible for him-, her- or themself :D

There's probably a spectrum of different personalities and situations. For example, a person may be faithful in one relationship with a given setting, and may not be in the faithful relationship with the same significant other in a different setting.

With regard to bad marriages, I'd be more content if more of the inappropriately-sustained ones broke up early. Sometimes the devil you know is not better than the devils you haven't met yet.



Brianruns10
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21 May 2011, 12:14 am

Whether I want to get married or not is irrelevant. I just have a feeling, deep down in my heart, that it will never happen. I've filmed enough weddings, and seen enough couples to know that that kind of love is utterly alien to me, and I haven't the slightest idea of how, where, who could ever love me enough agree to spend their life with me (god, and see me naked...who'd wanna see that? I can't even bear to look at me, yeesh!).



ValentineWiggin
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21 May 2011, 5:55 am

CaptainTrips222 wrote:
I've seen enough marriages fall apart, and heard enough horror stories, so why put myself through that? That, and so many guys cheat on their wives it makes me doubt my own innate fidelity. I'm starting to wonder if humans are even designed for permanent monogamy.


My parents' 30th anniversary is on Monday.

Humans weren't "designed" at all,
and monogamy vs. polygamy is a false dichotomy- both have been favored strategies depending on the environment...
not that what serves an evolutionary imperative should serve as a basis for your life, as opposed to what makes you HAPPY.