The Tooth, the hole in the tooth, and nothing but the tooth.

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Personally, if I had a child and it refused to let its teeth be brushed, I would insist that it have its teeth brushed before a meal. That way the food would be there as a 'carrot' to act as an incentive. The deal would be that the brush had to be in the mouth for at least a minute. When the minute was up, I would feed my child. I know that this defeats the actual purpose of brushing, but the point is to get the child used to the process rather than the time the process would take place. Negotiating with children goes way too far these days.

It took us a couple of years to get my daughter to allow us to brush her teeth. I tried the vibrating brushes and changing tooth paste. We did find that it was a combination of the tooth paste and the brush "scratching" her teeth. They have brushes that have three sides and all he has to do is sort of bite it. This worked for us and then I started putting a tiny bit of tooth paste that had NO mint taste. Now I can use a regular kid toothbrush but it is still difficult for her, she lets me do it because I promise to brush her tongue at the end....for some reason she likes that .

Youngest had a well-visit yesterday, and the doctor confirmed that, yes, he has cavities. Thankfully, his dental appointment is only a few weeks away. I tried getting him to talk about the doctor visit when he got home, but all he wanted to do was point out the "boo boo" he got when he received a shot.

But, again, he's obviously picking up more than he seems....

That night, he found an electric toothbrush and brought it over to me. He wanted to brush my teeth, and then I redirected him to brushing the teeth of a pair of stuffed animals. And then, with some prompting, he let me brush his teeth for ten seconds or so.

Which is REALLY progress, trust me.

He insisted on adding toothpaste to the brush, so I grabbed his brother's Strawberry flavored "Tom's of Maine" paste and put a small dab on it. This did not go over well, and got many a "Yuck!" So we need to look into some other flavors. He may actually like mint; it's worth a shot.

The Tom's of Maine was a big bomb (not "the" bomb) at our house too. The "beginner" toothpaste they make for babies and very young children has no flouride and, I think, a milder taste. Have you tried that?
Good luck on that dentist appt. I'd be prepared to have to sedate him if they are going to try to fill the cavities. We had to give DS enough gas to relax him, not put him all the way out, in order to get Xrays done. Though thinking back on it I just should have told them forget it. Why are they so worried about dental Xrays for a 5 yo?

The beginner stuff is what we use, and Eldest *loves* it. The look on his face the day that I accidentally gave him some of my toothpaste (I use the Arm & Hammer "Baking Soda" stuff) is one that I shall never, ever forget.

I am expecting Youngest to need to go under when the teeth are filled. But the first visit is just to look him over, and he should be okay with that. He's gotten so much better about that sort of thing lately, it's remarkable.

Saw the dentist today, he's got 4 cavities. An OR visit has been scheduled, and oh! That shall be such a joy.

They gave him a toothbrush, and his mom tells me that he was trying to brush in the stroller on the way home, so maybe we'll see a breakthrough. If not, I'm going to have to pin him down and brush, which I am not looking forward to for a lot of reasons. I don't want to make it MORE traumatic for him (he still cries when he goes to the doctor, because he remembers the sorts of things they had to do when his GIRD was being diagnosed), but it needs to be done.

Right now, I'm on a quest for non-YUCK toothpaste.

A complication is that he is, like so many kids, a very picky eater. And one of the things that he eats reliably, Trader's Joe's "Cereal Bars", are particularly bad for his teeth. The GIRD got him a "Failure to thrive" diagnosis when he was an infant (long since outgrown), so his mom is really paranoid about his not eating and is thus less than pleased by the thought of eliminating the bloody things.

*sigh*

Be nice if something could be simple for a change.

With any luck, the toothbrush from the dentist will help get him over the hump. Our first trip to the "Tooth Doctor" did wonders for us. Not exactly sure why but it did. Actually, even if you can only get him to let you brush with just water on the brush, that would be a big step up from no brushing at all.

I just had to update, because this encapsulates Youngest so very much.

He refuses to brush, despite our best efforts. So last week, we bit the bullet: he sits in his mother's lap, facing her, and Mom brushes his teeth while I pin his limbs and hold his head still. He HATES this, struggling and crying, and has taken to hiding behind the bathroom door as soon as we finish reading our bedtime story.

Afterward he demands a kiss from mom, and goes happily to bed.

Last night, his mother wasn't home at bedtime, so I figured we'd skip tooth-brushing. It's not a one person job.

But she arrives just as we're reading the bedtime book, and he goes right over to her. "Brush teeth!" he demands.

And then goes to hide behind the door as I get his brush.

And then cries and struggles as we brush.

Maybe it's the ritual, maybe he knows why we need to do it. But even if he doesn't like it, he needs to make sure we do it.

I'm sorry, I know this isn't any fun at all but I had to laugh when I read this . I sometimes think that DS has decided that the struggle is an inherent part of the process. Hopefully for you guys after some time you can cut the crying and struggling part out of the routine and just have the brushing teeth part of it. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you!

Can you possibly make tooth brushing fun? My wife has a tooth-brushing song that she sings to our son.

I have tried song, dance, applause, and bribery. For a few terrible seconds, I actually considered offering him a lollypop if he would brush his teeth...and then I realized the paradox inherent in that idea, and came to my senses.

It's hitting the level of ritual with him now. I get the toothbrush, and give it to his mom. He runs and hides behind the bathroom door, and then gives me a big grin and comes willingly into my arms as I pick up him up. He sits in her lap, cries while we brush, and then climbs down and gives her that big kiss.

We're going to start adjusting as we go on, hoping to phase out the objectionable bits.

His brother still seems to think that sticking the brush in his mouth while he reads is sufficient dental care; we need to ride herd on him to make sure he actually moves the brush around. In this, I suspect, he's much like myself at that age. I'd just prefer not to see his teeth be as bad as mine when he gets older.

I think you might be making too big of a deal about this.

I have had 16 (17 maybe) cavities in my life (mainly due to a combination of braces and British genetics), and it isn't that big of a deal. The cavities can be fixed in about 20 mins each by somebody who knows what they are doing, and at worse you'll wind up with a minor jaw ache which can be solved with aspirin and goes away after a few days.

Seriously, children get cavities all the time. And these aren't even his permanent teeth yet. There is no need to pin him down and torture the poor kid. Just get him some mouth wash, and accept that there will be a few cavities.

What about chewable toothbrushes? Do you know what I mean? They're like little fluffy balls that pop in the mouth and you just chew them. No scrubbing required.

I don't know if this will help, but does he understand that his teeth will be filled with 'owies' if he doesn't brush? Maybe you can explain that to him (either with pictures or the 'tooth doctor' telling him) and why he might want to brush.

Maybe you can try a baby brush (the ones with the real soft bristles) and see how that is. I'm guessing it sounds like is that it could be that the brush feels too harsh in his mouth, and that he fights it because it hurts. But that's just a guess.

My daughter had these issues and still does to a lesser extent. She would gag if we attempted to put a toothbrush into her mouth. This is one thing they worked on at OT-every appt would be a toothrushing exercise. When she went to the dentist she would refuse to open her mouth and have a meltdown if they attempted to open her mouth. Luckily my friend is a hygienist so she would attempt to place flouride on her teeth periodically. Well it finally happened at age 6 that there was a cavity that needed attention. We took her the dentist and it was a horrible experience where they ended up papoosing her to try to determine the extent of the cavity. We scheduled an appt to have her put under GA with a pediatric Anethesiologist and at that time we ended up capping 6 of her teeth because we knew her poor brushing and difficulty with dental visits. Even though this sounds extreme, it has turned out to be the best thing. She is getting better with the dentist now (because we found one that works with ASD kids and that made all the difference!) and those caps will eventually fall out with her teeth by age 10-11. So we prevented the decay by capping those teeth and now we are focusing on protecting the permanent teeth as they come in (she has literally pulled 8 of her teeth-the second they got loose she would push & pull them till they came out) and her 6 year molars will need to be sealed under GA probably at some point. They tried to seal the molars and she gagged too much so they stopped.

Also, she hates most all toothpaste too including the Tom's. The only one she likes is the Spongebob Colgate Bubble Fruit and she likes the blinking toothbrushes that tell you how long to brush. She focuses on the blinking while she swipes it across the teeth and I think it redirects her mind away from the gagging.