how do people feel about going Dutch,

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Similarly to jrjones9933, I usually pay the first time, and if she offers to split the bill, I insist on her covering next time. This provides another opportunity to spend time with each other.

ok, so... i like to alternate paying for the bill (or pay for myself or whoever invites pays), i prefer to ask men out on dates, i like effeminate men and i find fart jokes funny. i guess it's time i cashed in and got my status card as an honorary male.

I'm usually okay with going dutch but if the man asked me out, he should be the one paying. Just saying.

A woman might not find it so hot if the guy overcooks dinner, burns the appetizer and leaves a gnarly grease stain above the stove where he forgot he left some olive oil heating up. Guys who can't cook: don't try; there are easier sexy things to do to impress a girl. Guys who aren't sure: cook a 2 person meal for yourself once to make sure you can do it without a great deal of effort first.

The last thing I prepared foodwise with heat was microwave popcorn. I left it in for 2 minutes 12 seconds just like the instructions said. Around 1 minute 40 seconds in, the bag caught fire

@Erisad, aiieee.... good luck with the wisdom teeth. Some day my 3rd and 4th molars will have to come out, but hopefully not for a good long time.

Awww, it's okay. Anyone can learn how to cook. It just takes practice, that's all. And when you master the skill, the ladies will love you for it.

Yeeeah. I'm getting all four out, all partially impacted too. Oh joy. At least I'll have it done and overwith.

I have split the bill a few times but I prefer to pay

I approve.

Very, very true- my grandmother always said "If you can read, you can cook", meaning anyone with a recipe in-hand can manage it-
and the internet's the biggest cookbook in the whole world.

I believe that he forgot to mention the most important aspect of being a "male" because it wasnt related to this post which consists on constantly complaining about how girls have it so much easier so I dont think that they start processing the papers for the card until you can prove them that you are bitter towards women 24/7.(
IN CASE ANYONE DIDNT NOTICE THIS IS SARCASM)

Back on topic I usually offer to pay if Im the one that asked for the date and if they are reluctant to let me pay I have no problem going dutch.

I had my issues in the past when I was invited by woman(that was the one that made the arrangements) but Ive been growing out of it thanks to coffee breaks, odd time tables at uni and bumping into a female acquaintance that was looking for someone to have coffee with and didnt accept I dont have any money as an "excuse".

being dutch myself; going dutch is a natural state for me
if i'm going in a date, i would take the initiative of paying the full bill, regardless of if i was the asker or the asked, but i'd do so quite slowly, to give the girl plenty of time to react into saying they will pay for their part, most of the girls i know would do that, i'd just show that i'm willing to pay the full bill, at least on the first date

i do not go on "dates".
i do not eat in restaurants (however, i will buy food from them to speed home with and eat).
sometimes i used to eat in a pub after work.

on the occasions that i have eaten in a formal setting with girls that eventually became my girlfriends,
it has always been just a casual meeting.

when i worked in an office, some girls (never more than one at a time) liked to talk to me, and if the subject came up as to what i intended to eat that night, i may say .....actually i will script one example of what i remember from a particular person to illustrate the general dynamic.

girl: so...what are you having for dinner tonight?
me: i am going to the tavern and having "oyster's mornay".
girl: mmmmm sounds yummy.
me: they certainly are well worth the wait.
girl: you're making me hungry. where is this place?
me: the "great northern hotel" in chatswood.
girl: would you mind if i came along some time to try them out?
me: it is a free world.

soon after, she came to the "northern", and she had dinner with me and we payed our respective bills.

i did not perceive her to be a "date" because she was independently sampling the cuisine simultaneous to my own regular attendance.

the next time she wanted to come, she did not have the money, so i told her i would buy her dinner so that she could come. (i earned a lot and it was not a problem for me to pay).

i will pay for someone else's dinner if they can not pay for it themselves if i like their company. male or female.

i do not feel obliged to pay the bill for people because it is my "role" to do so. i will pay if they can not pay, and whatever the bill is for a night out is not a drain on my finances anyway.

if they can pay then they pay. most people i have met who liked me (and who i also like), do not have much money, so i am usually the one who pays.

i have never been in a circumstance where i have ordered food and then eaten it and then discovered that i have insufficient funds to pay for it, so there has been no time that i have not paid for my own meal.

i have a hard time understanding why it matters if i pay for them or they pay for themselves.

Last edited by b9 on 20 May 2011, 9:36 am, edited 1 time in total.

I want to go Dutch. Don't have the money though.

i think that sometimes people figure it is the first step to building a relationship. so that somehow the man paying for the woman starts off the connection with the man showing he can "take care" of the woman.

i went out with one man who really liked it when i paid for him at dinner because then he felt like he was my "boytoy" that i was "keeping". we would take turns paying. he also really liked it when i brought a 6 pack of expensive beer to his house because of the message it sent (not positive what that message was). i just bought it because he had overspent on dinner and drinks on his last turn paying, so i wanted to even it all back out again.

would you let a woman or a friend pay for you if they really wanted to buy your dinner, even though you have enough money?

i have no interest in manipulation or configuration so it is a simple affair for me. if they want to come out but they have not enough money, then i will give them the money to come out if they want it. it is not a problem.
if they come out and pay their own way i will not question it either.

if someone i would like to be in the company of can not afford to be in the company of me, then i will fix it by paying for everything they need in order to come to me if they so wish.

i really have no desires on my own. but if someone who i perceive as innocent wants to be my friend, then i shall facilitate it.



if they really wanted to buy me dinner, and if they became annoyed if i refused their financial input, then i would accede and let them pay for me, but i would always have an indelible record scratched on the inside of my skull of how much i need to repay them before i feel divorced and free from any obligations of repayment toward them.

i can surely take care of my self, and if i let anyone else pay a bill for me that i can easily afford to pay from my own funds, then it is only a token gesture that i extend to them to allow them to get some sort of fuzzy feeling of goodness (at my underlying expense) until i pay them back (which i can not tolerate any delays in effecting).

i am completely sterile in the emotional department so i am sorry that my reply may be rather basal.

whatever. i need to try one more thing to get something to work, and it is not related to anything on WP.
"g'night y'all" (as it were (or might have been)).

If the process goes really smoothly -- like when you can both throw down a twenty and it's taken care of -- then OK. Otherwise, it's very awkward for me. Who owes how much, who needs change, pull out a calculator(!) ... makes me freak out. I'd much rather just pay and be done with it. The "I've got it this time, you can get the next one" approach seems easiest, and also the most equitable and respectful way to go. What always felt best to me was, for example, when I got the tickets and she got dinner -- or I got dinner and she paid for dessert and the cab ride. When dates present more than one opportunity to pull out wallets, things get easier.

This may be more controversial, IDK... After a while of this, I think a good way to go is to figure out very roughly your income ratios. That's really the way things should be split up over time. She makes twice as much as you do? She should pick up two checks for your one.

Whatever the case, the notion that men should pay for everything is ridiculous and really insulting to women, ultimately. Even now, while my girlfriend is in school (and not working) and I support us, she still "pays" every once in a while -- even though she's technically paying with money that I gave to her. It's just healthier that way. I know that goes beyond your original question, but it illustrates the point.