moms with AS

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Are there any moms here with as, whether dxed or not?

Some of the issues I find hard are: needing privacy and having to emote a lot for the kids. And since I like doing things alone, it is hard to teach them certain things, like how to cook.

Yes I have AS u/dx. I have a son 14yrs AS dx also a daughter 16yrs AS u/dx
I'm due to start a long process of being assessed for it. Not that I need a dx really, I think it's just to clarify what I already know if that makes any sense.

Just_M

My kids are all grown up and have kids of their own, but yes, I found it stressful and a lot like writing with the wrong hand. I used to think I'd be a better dad and my ex would be a better mom. The youngest is now far closer to her in-laws than to me - her father in law is a warm teddy bear type; his wife is a little more of a thinking type but very family oriented. I am both overjoyed for her that she's found what she needed, and jealous.

i have a 9 year old with AS. I don't have AS but I have my other AS type of issues.. Hate malls, crowds, many types of clothing, etc. I am extremly lucky to have a wonderful husband who will take over command when I have had too much. my husband and I thought it was best a few years ago to sleep in seperate rooms because I could not sleep at night with him snoring and also when i am next to someone i get so hot. even in the middle of the winter. I have found that my sensitivity to things around come on the worst when I am getting my period.. its not that I am so much moody but I can not stand clothing, hate the heat, smells make me want to puke. we never get privacy. my son is up until god knows what time. so we are out of luck most nights. we do our best though.. I never compain about the lack of privacy I guess because I grew up in a small house with 5 people. my husband is really good about the teaching things.. Ryan is learning how to do laundry, and he loves to help cooking.. i find that its hard for me to be cooking with Ryan because his actions are so fast and jerky that he makes a huge mess. I do try though and my husband takes over a lot of times.. i guess the only time i am really bothered by lack of privacy etc is when I am due for my period..

I live with two kids( not biologically mine) with another on the way and it is hard. They are young and very demanding. Often i find just being around them very stressfull, their noisey, move all the time, and do unexpected things. However i wouldn't change them. I can be very grumpy and unanaproachable, and i have to work at being patient and remembering that they are only young. Still i also make sure i kiss and cuddle them and that they know that i love them....even if it never say it!

*raises hand*

I am unofficially diagnosed AS with an autistic son. The jury is still out on our 1 year old daughter. As a parent, I do need time to unwind as any NT parent does. I don't feel the need to socialize with parents at the park or to take my kid on playdates. He is going back to preschool in a few days anyway.

One thing I find confounding is that as The Parent, it is my place to come up with creative ideas of how to have fun....play games...teach my kids to use their immagination...and MAKE FRIENDS. I don't do that well in these areas and must rely on my husband for that input. Being a "self-starter" with those activities does not come naturally.

Hi,

I'm a mother of three. My two sons are diagnosed with Autism, my daughter isn't , but I suspect she isn't exactly N.T. either.

I don't have a diagnosis (or want one), but I fit the AS profile too. I only really admitted it to myself a couple of weeks ago.

The biggest problems I have are:
Lack of time for myself - my sons are more demanding than typical children of their age. Things became so difficult a year ago, that we moved 200 miles to be near my parents in order to get some support (hubby is a bit useless in this area unfortunately). I think that any parent would become stressed in that situation, but perhaps the fact that I want more me-time than other people does not help.

Lack of friends – I gave up work to look after my children, but unfortunately did not fit in with the playgroup set. Firstly, I find getting to know people quite difficult at the best of times. (One to one is OK, but in a noisy, group setting I have trouble following conversations). Secondly my interests are, on the whole, completely different to that of the average Mum. Eg I like sci-fi, they like soaps, I read the “New Scientist”, they read “Chat”, so I found it quite boring and eventually stopped going.

It's a similar situation at school. I feel that I should get to know the other Mums, but don't know how to break into their cliques. (Also they are not particularly friendly and most do not want their children to socialize with my son, but that's another story)

I have AS undxd, and 7 kids aged 16 to 4. I firstlearned about AS when a fellow teacher showed us a book about it & I reallized "OMG, that's my son! (he was about 8 then, he's 14 now) I researched & realised "OMG that's me " I fund myseldf rethinking my whole life in terms of AS; suddenly things made sense.

As for dealing with a huge family, it's not easy. I have a saint of a husband (NT but with residule ADD & other issues). One son with definite AS, lots of learning issues, giftedness, speach/hearing problems, & assorted quirks in the bunch. Some days I don't handle it well at all & there are shouting matches. Some days the kids & I will "aspergerate" all over the place, & my husband hasn't a clue

I try to let them have their space & decompress, & ask them to let me do the same. I try to teach them get a handle on life from my experiences. They know they're love, but that sometimes mom needs her space

I have 6 kids. I find it very hard. One of them is a definite (un dxed) aspie, and several of the others have aspie traits (or might be mildly aspie). There's never any solitude, and frankly, I need solitude the way normals need socializing. I don't feel sane without it.

Hope you don't mind if a dad says something ...

I have not had to look after my kids for more than a few days on my own. I sometimes need time out. Nintendo was good for that. Being the type of guy I am, I never worried about tidying up much, so that probably made it easier for me (yes I don;t do my share of housework but I do a lot of the cooking). I liked cooking with my boys (scones, cookies, pizza etc). we made a lot of mess but it was fun. Now they are older they are capable of cooking most basic things themselves.

My 15 y.o. recently commented to my wife that I don't hug anymore and he decided he would (and does) initiate hugs. I hugged and cuddled lots when they were small. I forget when I started doing it less. I make a point of it more regularly now.

Anyone else with older kids find they are less openly affectionate?

I am a mom with as and my son has as.

I have two sons with autism and an aspie daughter, dx. I'm u/dx but hate the heat, can only wear comfortable, loose clothing, get easily overwhelmed by crowds, lights, smells. I have a hard time if someone touches me and I'm not expecting it and my eye contact is not that great, either. When I married my husband I had a difficult time getting used to his relatives wanting to hug all the time. When my daughter was little I tried doing candle parties, scrapbooking parties, etc. but didn't fit in with the other moms there.