What is your most common social mistake?

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AngelKnight
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02 Aug 2011, 12:25 pm

Being sociable at a meal is tough. I'm relatively okay when there's small nibbles and such around, but sitting and eating food for more than 5 minutes at a time is when the Inner Me gets grumpy at people who try to have a conversation with me. Inner Me keeps going, "doggoneit, I'm eating! Come back later!"



b9
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02 Aug 2011, 12:44 pm

Quote:
What is your most common social mistake?


i guess the thing that alienates other people from me the most is the fact that i fail to listen to what they have to say to me, and i proceed to tell them what i want to tell them, and then after i have finished talking (if they are still there), i excuse my self by telling them "goodbye" in a way that they can not refute.


i do not adequately see people as living things. i know they are alive and all, but me and them have a hard time doing a "mental tango" together.

i just do not care enough to try to involve myself in the social matrix of "peopledom". it all seems pointless to me, and i quickly lose interest when i am forced to listen to someone else talk about things i have not ever thought about myself. i can not "explore" with them.. i care only about what i think.
that is not a socially beneficial way to be i would correctly suspect.so i guess it is a major flaw in me.
"ho f*cking hum".



WhoKnowsWhy
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02 Aug 2011, 9:20 pm

If I knew what it was, my social life probably wouldn't suck so much. :)



PurpleJazz
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03 Aug 2011, 4:41 am

My main problem is that I seem to talk down to everyone, or at least that is what would be apparent based on other people's reactions to my social actions. Just because I don't grin like the Cheshire Cat 24/7 and say things "as they are" instead of acting like a clown by consistent streams of sarcasm and other NT humour, people think of me as being "too serious" and not having any sense of humour.



FlamingYouth
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03 Aug 2011, 1:09 pm

I often just say what I feel like. In the past few years I've been developing a theory of mind, but often I say something having absolutely no idea how the person I'm speaking will respond. Sometimes I unintentionally hurt people, which leads to trouble. In recent years I've been developing a theory of mind so that happens less and less over time, but I still have to be careful.



wendyleigh
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07 Aug 2011, 5:15 pm

:wink: Oh boy! Where to start...? I cut people off while they're talking. I'm so bad about this, especially if we're talking about something I'm excited about. I'm not very good with eye contact unless I'm used to the person and even then if I need to explain something or go into detail, I have to look sort of past their head instead of into their eyes. If I begin to get overloaded, I can be rude and bossy. For example, I was assessing a patient during my practicum hours this semester and it was towards the end of a 16 hour day in an emergency department full of chattering people with all these flourescent lights (ugh!) overhead. A resident came up to my patient with a medical student in tow and got between me and the patient and started talking to the patient and explaining the patient's pathophysiology to the med student. I just wanted to throw him through a plate glass window! I mean, hello??? I'm not done! Would you like a thorough assessment or not?? Of course, if I hadn't been in overload it wouldn't have been as big of a deal, but it still would've annoyed me. So, I tolerated them for a minute but then he just started sort of stating the obvious, so I just elbowed them both out of the way and got on with it. The resident is an intense man himself and he just sort of chuckled and led the med student away. But I've got to get a handle on that because people aren't always going to be so tolerant. Oh, and if you can't tell, I can be a bit blunt. Bahahaha! And I talk down to people sometimes. Not all the time. Just when I think I'm right, which is pretty often. But guess what? Sometimes, being right is overrated. And I have alot of trouble talking to guys. I have NO IDEA how to flirt and can't tell when someone is flirting with me. This has resulted in some truly grotesque ( and totally hilarious for anyone observing, I'm sure!) exchanges.



Surya
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07 Aug 2011, 9:04 pm

b9 wrote:
... lack of common grounding with humanity, i do not understand why they do all the things they do, and i feel nauseous almost at the thought ...


pretty much that.

most common social mistake.. stepping/placing myself into any social/society situation, think by now I would know better and just not bother...


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kraelik
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08 Aug 2011, 1:57 am

I would have to say that I talk over other people when I want to talk. I also yell at people when they touch me, even if it was an accident.


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Chivolsoc
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15 Aug 2011, 7:31 am

I am told that I come across as stand offish and a non joiner.



dopplercb
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15 Aug 2011, 9:59 am

I am pretty much a socail failure. I have gotten better at reading people, but when it comes to knowing what tosay in social situations, I am an utter failure. I will sit in silence, and not talk unless spoken to, then if takes me a minute to come up with whatever I am going to say. it's really quite pathetic.



b9
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15 Aug 2011, 10:18 am

if i was an owl, i am sure i could remain anonymous because i would not give a hoot.



lennyk
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15 Aug 2011, 9:05 pm

everything



LostUndergrad9090
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15 Aug 2011, 9:26 pm

accepting a drink or not. They will ask me and i usually don't know what to say.



URtheALIEN
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15 Aug 2011, 9:29 pm

wendyleigh wrote:
:wink: Oh boy! Where to start...? I cut people off while they're talking. I'm so bad about this, especially if we're talking about something I'm excited about. I'm not very good with eye contact unless I'm used to the person and even then if I need to explain something or go into detail, I have to look sort of past their head instead of into their eyes. If I begin to get overloaded, I can be rude and bossy. For example, I was assessing a patient during my practicum hours this semester and it was towards the end of a 16 hour day in an emergency department full of chattering people with all these flourescent lights (ugh!) overhead. A resident came up to my patient with a medical student in tow and got between me and the patient and started talking to the patient and explaining the patient's pathophysiology to the med student. I just wanted to throw him through a plate glass window! I mean, hello??? I'm not done! Would you like a thorough assessment or not?? Of course, if I hadn't been in overload it wouldn't have been as big of a deal, but it still would've annoyed me. So, I tolerated them for a minute but then he just started sort of stating the obvious, so I just elbowed them both out of the way and got on with it. The resident is an intense man himself and he just sort of chuckled and led the med student away. But I've got to get a handle on that because people aren't always going to be so tolerant. Oh, and if you can't tell, I can be a bit blunt. Bahahaha! And I talk down to people sometimes. Not all the time. Just when I think I'm right, which is pretty often. But guess what? Sometimes, being right is overrated. And I have alot of trouble talking to guys. I have NO IDEA how to flirt and can't tell when someone is flirting with me. This has resulted in some truly grotesque ( and totally hilarious for anyone observing, I'm sure!) exchanges.


Except that I am a guy, see all of the above. In spades.


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jpfudgeworth
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16 Aug 2011, 1:02 am

By far the worst thing I am aware of is talking about something that is only related to the conversation in my own idiosyncratic way. My awareness of this is still fresh, so I'm sure that I am improving in this area and will continue to do so. I'm also sure that soon I will become aware of my next bad habit and start to tackle that.