Has your family ever treat you differently than everyone els

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bradt4evr
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04 Jun 2011, 8:15 pm

I never really have had this problem personally, but i know AS kids whos family treats them differently than everyone else, by differently i mean like talking to them in sord of a babyish way, or maybe constantly monitoring their every move, you know stuff like that. sometimes families will treat my AS friends worse than other people their own age in their family because i guess AS makes them beneath other people. I just wondered if that happened alot to AS people,



Todesking
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04 Jun 2011, 8:30 pm

When I was little if I acted weirdly I would be punished or hit in some way by my father. He said he wanted to help me by stopping me from coming off as strange or crazy. My two younger brothers are NT so they did not act weirdly so they did not get punished. When I was in second grade a teacher said my rocking made her nervous she tied me to a chair with a jump rop but I still managed to rock. The b***h finally was able to get me to stop rocking by slamming a large dictionary against the desk I sat at. She would wait for me to start rocking then sneak up on me so she could slam the dictionary on my desk causing me to jump. The other kids thought this was funny so they told on me everytime they saw me rocking. :roll:


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bradt4evr
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04 Jun 2011, 8:43 pm

Todesking wrote:
When I was little if I acted weirdly I would be punished or hit in some way by my father. He said he wanted to help me by stopping me from coming off as strange or crazy. My two younger brothers are NT so they did not act weirdly so they did not get punished. When I was in second grade a teacher said my rocking made her nervous she tied me to a chair with a jump rop but I still managed to rock. The b***h finally was able to get me to stop rocking by slamming a large dictionary against the desk I sat at. She would wait for me to start rocking then sneak up on me so she could slam the dictionary on my desk causing me to jump. The other kids thought this was funny so they told on me everytime they saw me rocking. :roll:

your story made me cry :(. I think you should be very proud of yourself for being able to overcome so much at such a young age. :) I know what you mean about school life it wasnt always perfect for me either. Like having kids scream weirdo at the top of their lungs and throw textbooks at you when the teachers not looking, (man those things would hurt!) Just remember life will get better just hang in there



MyDogSasha
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04 Jun 2011, 8:52 pm

Todesking wrote:
When I was little if I acted weirdly I would be punished or hit in some way by my father. He said he wanted to help me by stopping me from coming off as strange or crazy. My two younger brothers are NT so they did not act weirdly so they did not get punished. When I was in second grade a teacher said my rocking made her nervous she tied me to a chair with a jump rop but I still managed to rock. The b***h finally was able to get me to stop rocking by slamming a large dictionary against the desk I sat at. She would wait for me to start rocking then sneak up on me so she could slam the dictionary on my desk causing me to jump. The other kids thought this was funny so they told on me everytime they saw me rocking. :roll:


wow i wish i could punch them... :evil:



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04 Jun 2011, 9:20 pm

They [b]KNOW[/b] NOT to treat me that way.

However, people have treated me that way (authority) and it ticks me off.



Ilka
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04 Jun 2011, 10:49 pm

I tend to be overprotective with my 11-years-old Aspie, but she is only child. And I am working real hard in stop being like that and let her be. I know she needs that so she can become and independent woman some day. I've never talk childish to her. Not even when she was a baby. I dislike baby talk. I find it offensive.



Ashuahhe
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04 Jun 2011, 11:45 pm

Only my mum treats me differently from the others. My siblings can get away with so much than I can :(



bradt4evr
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05 Jun 2011, 12:32 am

Ilka wrote:
I tend to be overprotective with my 11-years-old Aspie, but she is only child. And I am working real hard in stop being like that and let her be. I know she needs that so she can become and independent woman some day. I've never talk childish to her. Not even when she was a baby. I dislike baby talk. I find it offensive.


It sounds like your a great mother if you actually want your daughter to try and be independent even though its not as easy for her to become independent as NTs. I know a few mothers of AS kids who have decided their kid has AS and automatically assumes they cant be independent, and it doesnt go well in the teenage years lol. Believe me AS people can still be independent, just as much as NTs, and you are being a wonderful mother by trying to teach her to be independent. :)



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05 Jun 2011, 12:40 am

Ashuahhe wrote:
Only my mum treats me differently from the others. My siblings can get away with so much than I can :(


oh:(, maybe your mother is just having a little trouble understanding you, since it can be hard for some people to understand AS people. if this is the case my reccomendation is to always be honest with your mother, and im sure you and her will become a lot closer. Just remember a mother always loves her child even if it may not always seem that way. maybe shes harder on you because she has higher expectations of you than your siblings, think, are you better at school than your siblings? are you more compassionate than your siblings? do you care more about your life and your future than your siblings? if the answer is yes to one of those questions or a similiar question, maybe thats why shes a little tougher on you. again, just remember a mother loves their child no matter what.



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05 Jun 2011, 12:45 am

My mom treats me like an idiot at times. She's always reminding me to do things and telling me things I already know.


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bradt4evr
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05 Jun 2011, 12:55 am

SammichEater wrote:
My mom treats me like an idiot at times. She's always reminding me to do things and telling me things I already know.


Yeah sometimes that gets on my nerves too, like how as soon as i get home from school shes reminding me about all the hwk i know i need to do and i always feel like telling her "I just spent 7 straight hours working my butt off in a building that doesnt believe in air conditioning, I dont need this crap!" but i keep my mouth shut. The best thing to do in a situation like that is to remember shes only doing that because she is a mother, and she loves you and cares about you



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06 Jun 2011, 10:48 am

bradt4evr wrote:
It sounds like your a great mother if you actually want your daughter to try and be independent even though its not as easy for her to become independent as NTs. I know a few mothers of AS kids who have decided their kid has AS and automatically assumes they cant be independent, and it doesnt go well in the teenage years lol. Believe me AS people can still be independent, just as much as NTs, and you are being a wonderful mother by trying to teach her to be independent. :)


Thank you, Brad. I really try hard to be a good mother. Being a mother is not easy. Less when you have a kid with AS (I am NT). Understanding her is very difficult sometimes. Thank God my husband is also AS, so he helps. My husband and I are both alone. We both have terrible relationships with our families, and our kid is only child, so it is very important that she learns to take care of herself, because she will end up alone sooner or later. She also wants to become a scientist (since she is 5), so we are working hard in helping achieve her goals. Our daughter was diagnosed 3 years ago and her therapist is GREAT. We became good friends, we adore her and she adores our child. She is helping us help our daughter, and she is very optimistic she will be able to be independent and have a very productive and happy life. We are very optimistic, too.



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06 Jun 2011, 2:01 pm

Ilka wrote:
Thank you, Brad. I really try hard to be a good mother. Being a mother is not easy. Less when you have a kid with AS (I am NT). Understanding her is very difficult sometimes. Thank God my husband is also AS, so he helps. My husband and I are both alone. We both have terrible relationships with our families, and our kid is only child, so it is very important that she learns to take care of herself, because she will end up alone sooner or later. She also wants to become a scientist (since she is 5), so we are working hard in helping achieve her goals. Our daughter was diagnosed 3 years ago and her therapist is GREAT. We became good friends, we adore her and she adores our child. She is helping us help our daughter, and she is very optimistic she will be able to be independent and have a very productive and happy life. We are very optimistic, too.


I just read your recent post on Would you change yourself an Nt when you were discussing your husband, along with this one. You know I really think that your family is special because you all try to support one another. I know it can be hard for mothers to understand their AS kids, dont ever feel bad if you dont because its a tricky thing for a lot of people, my mom also has trouble understanding me sometimes and she definitely goes through a little chaos every now and then, since i have zero organization she has to try and keep me organized in all my school projects and constantly e mailing teachers and people in charge of special ed whenever she tries to change something in an iep or get an adaption made for whatever reason. My dad has ADHD along with organization problems so she sord of has to keep us both organized and its NOT easy lol. Its great your child likes her therapist and that the therapist likes her because that makes a BIG difference in their life, I got diagnosed when i was 12 and i cant tell you how hard school was for me before then. I was bullied constantly and always got in trouble with teachers when i didnt realize i was doing anything wrong, and you just ask yourself,"whats wrong with me?, and you never get an answer. When my therpaist came along and gave me that answer it was like a huge weight being lifted off of my shoulders and i learned how to cope with my problems through my therapist. He really helped me through a lot of my school problems and im really grateful for his help.
Keep up that optimism, and never lose it. :)



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06 Jun 2011, 2:53 pm

bradt4evr wrote:
I just read your recent post on Would you change yourself an Nt when you were discussing your husband, along with this one. You know I really think that your family is special because you all try to support one another. I know it can be hard for mothers to understand their AS kids, dont ever feel bad if you dont because its a tricky thing for a lot of people, my mom also has trouble understanding me sometimes and she definitely goes through a little chaos every now and then, since i have zero organization she has to try and keep me organized in all my school projects and constantly e mailing teachers and people in charge of special ed whenever she tries to change something in an iep or get an adaption made for whatever reason. My dad has ADHD along with organization problems so she sord of has to keep us both organized and its NOT easy lol. Its great your child likes her therapist and that the therapist likes her because that makes a BIG difference in their life, I got diagnosed when i was 12 and i cant tell you how hard school was for me before then. I was bullied constantly and always got in trouble with teachers when i didnt realize i was doing anything wrong, and you just ask yourself,"whats wrong with me?, and you never get an answer. When my therpaist came along and gave me that answer it was like a huge weight being lifted off of my shoulders and i learned how to cope with my problems through my therapist. He really helped me through a lot of my school problems and im really grateful for his help.
Keep up that optimism, and never lose it. :)


I think we support each other that much because we have no one else. We are the Three Musketeers, always together.
Understanding is sometimes difficult, but doable. The difficult part is I had to learn to by patient. I have a really bad temper and I do not handle stress very well. My husband says I might be AS, too, because flexibility is really hard for me. And I ended up with an AS kid... I HAD to learn to be flexible. They say Aspies love routines. Neither my husband or kid like routines. They always fight schedules. They do not want to be constrained to time-frames. I get totally stressed because for me time-frames are extremely important.
Your mom sounds like my kid of girl. You are very lucky. I know a lot of mothers who think their kids are weed or something. Apparently some women think giving birth and paying for stuff is all they have to do. So sad.
I am sorry you had such a bad time at school. I hope it's better now. I think it's easier for our kid because she is a girl. My husband was also bullied at school. It still hurts.



mike_the_poet
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08 Jun 2011, 2:25 am

My family is fine, eh.... well my brothers make fun of me cuz of AS, One of my interests is WW2, I'm a ww2 nut, love learning about it etc
A book I'm reading now got the swastika on the cover of book, so brother was like "Is that your Nazi bible?"

My sibs don't really understand me, my dad eh we dont really have a relationship, I like my mom and baby sis (3) the most out of my family.



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23 Jun 2011, 12:33 am

My family... hmm where do I start, my family has and always will treat me differently. I have forgotten most of all my childhood (not a good sign there) but I've heard stories of siblings yelling at me and while they were doing that I'd have this terrified look on my face and be plugging my ears. My family members all have different abilities if you will but I am alone with Aspergers, I've also had brain damage (from what my siblings have told me) but I do remember my brother hitting me in the head with a small hook, I had to get stitches also we all suffer from crazy depression. Anyways, I can't remember my childhood that's just weird to me but from the fragments I've gathered my childhood was miserable. Now they all know I have Aspergers, brain damage & Depression (P.O.S. combination let me just tell you that right now), they kinda spoil me now, I am the last child so of course I get hand me downs. They spoil me with respecting my space, and they don't pressure me. My parents watch every move I make, but lately I told them to back off so now all they pressure me with is school. I have random issues and emotions that pop up a lot, especially because I am trying to feel emotion, I cannot feel emotion by the way but more than I used to, and that's because I left my heart wide open but people poked it with their sharp sticks so it has scabbed and scared. Oh, and I have anxiety lol I forget A TON it's ridiculous really. I really do enjoy how no one else thinks the way I do, I feel like one of a kind (I can't remember the other word for that)

Wow, it seems like I've been set up to fail doesn't it? If it weren't for my now supportive family, I probably would still be absolutely miserable.