Point-of-view

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I am an aspie (unofficially), and I came across this site only recently, but before that I didn't know if other aspies thought like me. I see now there are more similarities than I would previously have believed. So I'd like to pose a theory and see what you think.

I believe most NTs view the world through their own perspective first, and sometimes only. I can't speak for other aspies, but I try to view situations from as many angles as possible, sometimes neglecting my own. I also find it nearly impossible to put myself above others. This might go toward explaining my lack of success, and why some NTs, at least, find it a bit more easily, as they find it hard to care about someone they have no personal connections to. I think this is why we feel as if we're on the "wrong planet"; NTs are playing an on-going game of subtlety and subterfuge in order to find the people and situations that most benefit themselves. I ,and maybe other aspies (let me know), feel honesty and kindness go further toward helping yourself, than greed. Helping others to help yourself might seem counter-intuitive, but it really isn't; who do think would be more willing to help, someone who feels gratitude toward you, or someone who feels resentment?

On the contrary, people with AS typically find it difficult to relate to someone else's perspective.

I wasn't necessarily talking about other people's points of view, although I guess I'm different than other aspies in that regard, but seeing the world as it actually is, rather than just how it effects one person. Or maybe I'm just completely different from everybody, NTs and other aspies alike, so let me know if that's the case too. Also, it might have just gotten lost in translation. It can be hard to express what's on my mind clearly and effectively at times.

Believe me, I can relate.

You can't really pigeonhole people with AS easily. Some of us have certain traits that others don't. Some of the common traits will apply to you and some won't. When I say that "people with AS typically find it difficult to relate to someone else's perspective," I put the "typically" in there for a reason. Sometimes you have to generalize.

I understand what you mean about "NTs playing an on-going game of subtlety and subterfuge in order to find the people and situations that most benefit themselves" and how you "feel honesty and kindness go further toward helping yourself" since people with AS are typically (there's that word again) much more socially naive, and subtlety and subterfuge rarely enter the equation.

I agree with the OP. I like to consider many different perspectives when viewing a situation from the third person. When I am in the middle of a first person situation, my mind is usually focused on my own perspective, because it is not good at processing and integrating the many signals that it is getting from other people. Once the situation has ended and I look back on it, I can view it from another person's perspective. I don't think that people with AS have more difficulty putting themselves into someone else's shoes than other people. I think that it is equally difficult for NTs to put themselves into someone else's shoes. It just so happens that there are more of them in the world, so when do they do put themselves into someone else's shoes, they are more likely to come to the correct conclusions about the other person. When we do it, we are more likely to come to the incorrect conclusions. When they put themselves into our shoes, they are very likely to come to the incorrect conclusions. They are almost never correct. NTs are not masters of empathy in general. They are masters of empathy with NTs. Same for us. That's why I can find so many resonating voices on this forum. I empathize much better with autistic people than I do with NTs. Unfortunately, the science and clinical practice relating to ASD is determined from the NT perspective with NTs as standards, so much of it is incorrect and possibly harmful.

No. You are absolutely wrong. I never neglect my own perspective. I do look at other perspectives, but mine comes first and foremost.

I figured that might be unique to me, but since I've had no previous contact with other aspies, I thought I'd ask.

Also, to respond to Jory, I know everyone's different, I just haven't found out in which ways I'm typical or atypical yet.

I have to agree, it is for me even difficult to find my own perspective. I kind of feel that Im borrowing this body and that Im forced into the physics of life on earth, so that I constantly explore the existing environment and actually wonder and sometimes admire how some people can have one spesific perspective of it at all. I even fail making lists of what I like and what I dont like. When I look around, its not mine, its just there and I have a feeling that Im just borrowing it like everybody else, and the only thing I can do is just wonder. I have tried to make myself a personality, convince myself that Im typically this or that, but nothing applies, I consist of contrasts and things in between, including a brain which is limited regarding understanding what the universe really is. Just maybe one thing could apply: I cant stop thinking.