Page 1 of 1 [ 15 posts ] 

pratchettfan
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 25 May 2011
Gender: Male
Posts: 238
Location: England

07 Jun 2011, 11:01 am

(Note: I edited the title - 'How big is your personal space' didn't look right)

I hate it when people crowd in on me for no good reason. People behind me in a supermarket queue who get so close that I feel their shopping basket or shopping trolley/cart digging into my legs or back. If something unexpected happens and I need to step back, I get moaned at for standing on people's (usually old women's) toes or pushing them backwards. Why do they feel they need to stand so close? And why is it usually older people who do it most?



Last edited by pratchettfan on 07 Jun 2011, 7:15 pm, edited 3 times in total.

TeaEarlGreyHot
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Jul 2010
Age: 40
Gender: Female
Posts: 28,982
Location: California

07 Jun 2011, 1:10 pm

Depends on the situation at hand, but in general I gauge by making sure I can't touch them if I stretch my arm out in any direction.


_________________
Still looking for that blue jean baby queen, prettiest girl I've ever seen.


Simonono
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Oct 2010
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,299

07 Jun 2011, 2:10 pm

As far as possible



Nier
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 11 Dec 2010
Age: 53
Gender: Female
Posts: 348

07 Jun 2011, 3:09 pm

Hi pratchettfan (I really enjoy his books btw)

I find it vexing when people crowd me for the same reasons as you state, though it's people of all ages (usually in twos or family groups more than oldies). I try to be more polite these days but still sometimes have to turn round and ask them to back off or stare until they get their trolley out of my back. The ones that occupy my space by the card reader when i'm packing the shopping up and don't move when I need to pay hack me off the most.

Generally as long as someone is not intrusive and out of my field of view, then not touching is ok.
If they're invasive (loud, smelly, nosey, abusive, stupid) then I want them far enough away to not have to suffer from their contribution, which is preferably a different room, street or country.



Jory
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 2 Jun 2011
Gender: Male
Posts: 17,520
Location: Tornado Alley

07 Jun 2011, 3:19 pm

I don't like being near anyone, even sitting in a movie theatre. But the worst is someone standing right behind you.



Titangeek
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Aug 2010
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Posts: 7,696
Location: somewhere in the vicinity of betelgeuse

07 Jun 2011, 10:33 pm

3ft in any direction


_________________
Always be yourself, express yourself, have faith in yourself, do not go out and look for a successful personality and duplicate it.
- Bruce Lee


starburst76
Hummingbird
Hummingbird

User avatar

Joined: 7 Jun 2011
Age: 47
Gender: Female
Posts: 24

08 Jun 2011, 9:12 pm

I've often thought that I need a 2 feet radius of space around me. I can't even count how many times I have had people invade my space in grocery store lines. Only once have I ever complained and that is because an old lady rammed me with her shopping cart, not once, but three times! The first time I gave her a look and she mumbled something in her defense. The second time I gave her a nasty look (having strangers bump me in any way is almost physically painful). The third time I told her to watch her cart, then she had the nerve to get mad at me! So I put my hand in her face and told her to talk to the hand, then she got all defensive and said what a rude person I was and the nerve! I couldn't believe it.

I don't know why people have to stand so close, I've tried to come with ways to keep them back. One way, might be to act like a crazy person. I do believe this would work as I once saw a guy in line who was waving his arms around and sort of dancing. People stayed about 3 feet away from him. I don't understand why people have to close in on you when you are using the card reader!

I freak out when I'm driving and someone tail gates me. Sometimes I have to pull over if it gets to be too much. I also find it annoying standing on crowded buses and holding railings with other people.



TenPencePiece
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Dec 2009
Age: 29
Gender: Male
Posts: 46,000
Location: Greater Manchester, United Kingdom

09 Jun 2011, 5:54 am

More than a foot, generally.


_________________
I'm always here, all you have to do is ask and you shall receive


crouton
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 May 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,207

09 Jun 2011, 8:26 am

I'm comfortable when people are placed around a foot or more away from me, though I can tolerate people standing closer if it's necessary - standing in the aisles on a crowded train would be an example. I think my attitude towards personal space is fairly normal, and that the distance I can tolerate is more or less average.



pepperrose
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 6 Mar 2011
Age: 27
Gender: Female
Posts: 57
Location: southern Indiana

23 Jun 2011, 10:40 am

so that a can at least put my elbows out, preferably more but any less and i cant stand it



mori_pastel
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 11 May 2011
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 219
Location: GA, USA

23 Jun 2011, 4:45 pm

About thirty nine and a half feet. (He he.)

I've got a pretty big "personal bubble," but whether or not invading my private space bothers me depends on the situation. I really don't like being touched under any circumstances, but I can grin and bear it if I'm in a crowded space. If I'm not, I can't stand it, and have been known to snap at people who unexpectedly touch me.



RaquiGirl
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 12 Aug 2010
Age: 50
Gender: Female
Posts: 159
Location: PDX

24 Jun 2011, 2:17 am

I am the same as mori_pastel. I prefer a lot of space... and I'm not terribly touchy-feely, however a large part of my time is spent around people who like to give hugs, so I grin and bear that, and I will do the same if I'm in a crowded space like a concert or a theater... in general though I don't like to be touched, and especially don't like to be bumped into... and I REALLY HATE IT when I am in a large open space, like a park, sitting on a bench and there are dozens of other places to sit and someone comes up and sits within a few feet of me... and I hate it even more when they light up a cigarette. It makes me want to scream. (This is fresh in my mind because I must have moved four times today after people did this to me until I finally had to go inside and sit in a public bathroom stall just to calm down).


_________________
I'm just like you, only different. AS Dx 11/19/2010
Hat size: US 8


Wuffles
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 5 Apr 2010
Age: 44
Gender: Female
Posts: 354

24 Jun 2011, 4:40 pm

Ideally, a radius of about a mile. Practically, it seems to be about double what most people need in public spaces, plus I need huge amounts of private time.

I went shopping today and even though the supermarket wasn't particularly full, my nerves were twanging after 10 minutes. I found myself staring at the floor to avoid looking at anyone and almost running to finish getting the items on my list so that I could just get OUT of there.



Spiff
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

User avatar

Joined: 25 Jun 2011
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 8

26 Jun 2011, 1:56 am

This is an interesting question for me.

When I was very young, I needed almost no space, and found it confusing when people mentioned that I was 'crowding them in'. It took me a lot of getting yelled at to realize how much space others required.

Once learned though, I haven't had too many issues with it, though when I am feeling confused or anxious I need at least 2 - 3 feet of personal space so that I can feel comfortable enough to think properly.



identity
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 20 Mar 2011
Age: 40
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,555
Location: South West UK

27 Jun 2011, 9:03 am

I have always thought I seem to have quite a large personal space. It makes me intensely uncomfortable when you can feel the warmth of someone elses breath as they speak 8O yuck! If ever I'm with my Mum and we meet people we both know she sometimes says to me "stand in closer" (to the whole group not her!) so I might move slightly closer but not much.