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catlover02
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11 Jun 2011, 5:19 pm

I am really immature for my age. I do NOT know how to be mature like everyone else. I am emotionally delayed, socially delayed and developmentally delayed. I honestly feel like I'm a kid that's trapped in an adult's body. :( It makes me really frustrated and upset whenever people tell me to grow up and when people tell me to act my age and not my show size. How can I be mature like everyone else? I live by myself and I take care of my cat, other then that I'm immature. How can I be mature like normal people? Does anyone else here have problems with being immature with their Asperger's/autism? Does anyone tell you to act your age and to grow up? It really frustrates me when people tell me to act my age and to grow up when I do NOT know how to be mature like everyone else! Thanks for the help.



CaptainTrips222
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11 Jun 2011, 5:24 pm

I find when people spit that line, "Grow up," they're often just as guilty of childish behavior.

Being quiet and reserved often comes across more mature than hyper active. Try that.



Jory
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11 Jun 2011, 5:31 pm

"Act your age" typically means "obey all social rules, no matter how ridiculous."



catlover02
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11 Jun 2011, 5:47 pm

Jory wrote:
"Act your age" typically means "obey all social rules, no matter how ridiculous."

That there is a big problem for me because I do NOT understand social rules. I have a really hard time socializing and sometimes I will say something that is inappropiate even without me realizing it.



CockneyRebel
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11 Jun 2011, 5:54 pm

CaptainTrips222 wrote:
I find when people spit that line, "Grow up," they're often just as guilty of childish behavior.

Being quiet and reserved often comes across more mature than hyper active. Try that.


Maybe I should try that.


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Jory
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11 Jun 2011, 6:28 pm

catlover02 wrote:
That there is a big problem for me because I do NOT understand social rules. I have a really hard time socializing and sometimes I will say something that is inappropiate even without me realizing it.


You and all the rest of us.



hartzofspace
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11 Jun 2011, 6:50 pm

Maybe we should respond, when someone says to grow up, "After you!"


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11 Jun 2011, 6:57 pm

hartzofspace wrote:
Maybe we should respond, when someone says to grow up, "After you!"

That's a great one! I'll have to start using that. :)



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11 Jun 2011, 7:49 pm

Yeah, my boss made me fall into the trap of thinking I had a greenlight to talk about working on my car - which is a big interest and something I easily get "enthusiastic" about. So I went on about it for a bit then had that awful realisation I was doing something wrong and stopped - he had this wierd look on his face and said "You need to grow up."

Well I'm sorry but if not being entrhusiastic about things and hiding your emotions is what growing up is all about then call me Peter Pan...


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CaptainTrips222
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11 Jun 2011, 8:23 pm

Wooster wrote:
Yeah, my boss made me fall into the trap of thinking I had a greenlight to talk about working on my car - which is a big interest and something I easily get "enthusiastic" about. So I went on about it for a bit then had that awful realisation I was doing something wrong and stopped - he had this wierd look on his face and said "You need to grow up."


Yeah, and your boss is so much more mature than you, setting you up like that to put you down.



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12 Jun 2011, 5:00 pm

CaptainTrips222 wrote:
Wooster wrote:
Yeah, my boss made me fall into the trap of thinking I had a greenlight to talk about working on my car - which is a big interest and something I easily get "enthusiastic" about. So I went on about it for a bit then had that awful realisation I was doing something wrong and stopped - he had this wierd look on his face and said "You need to grow up."


Yeah, and your boss is so much more mature than you, setting you up like that to put you down.


Oops! I worded that badly - it's more accurate to say that in a conversation with my boss I made the mistake of thinking I had a greenlight - he didn't deliberately set me up - or at least no more than NT's normally do if you don't have your wits about you.

He knew I was doing the head gasket and asked how the work on my car was going - so I told him! Evidently he was just making small talk and the response I was supposed to give was "fine" and leave it at that - not a detailed description of how I had ported the head and the experimantal changes I made to the combustion chambers shapes.


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12 Jun 2011, 5:34 pm

General "small talk" rule. You don't ever say just "FINE" to those sorts of questions though that is better than monologuing. The BEST thing is to summarize the story in 3 or 4 sentences with a beginning, a middle and an ending.

I started x this weekend. It went well but I am missing y parts. I plan to pick it up again next weekend.

Short, sweet and to the point.

Just throwing ya'll some pearls from my small talk education that I am currently receiving. :D :D :D



Verdandi
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12 Jun 2011, 5:58 pm

kfisherx wrote:
General "small talk" rule. You don't ever say just "FINE" to those sorts of questions though that is better than monologuing. The BEST thing is to summarize the story in 3 or 4 sentences with a beginning, a middle and an ending.

I started x this weekend. It went well but I am missing y parts. I plan to pick it up again next weekend.

Short, sweet and to the point.

Just throwing ya'll some pearls from my small talk education that I am currently receiving. :D :D :D


Haha, I've been trying to do this over the past week. I actually failed at it pretty hard. I am not sure I want to keep it up. :oops: :D



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12 Jun 2011, 11:19 pm

Yeah, I apparently make a habit of saying too much or not enough. I need to look into some of the behavioural and interaction strategy info that's available.


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LadySera
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13 Jun 2011, 12:45 am

Wooster wrote:
Well I'm sorry but if not being enthusiastic about things and hiding your emotions is what growing up is all about then call me Peter Pan...


This is how I've always felt! I hate when there is something really awesome happening and people don't get excited. I just try to do my own thing (if possible). If I am with a friend or family member and it's a concert or something that other people are trying to act too cool for I might say something like "we might never see something like this again" so they can understand (& maybe share) my excitement.

I also have heard grow up but in my case it is applicable. Plus I never see myself heading into that having a family thing. I feel like I'll always get along better with people in their early 20s who just want to have experiences than people my age (late 20s) who are trying to fit into a social setting or get a husband or whatever.



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13 Jun 2011, 11:47 am

I have been told to "Grow up" more than once. I agree with hartzofspace about saying "After you!" :)
More than one who has told me that needed a HEART in THEM, anyway! :wink:


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