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GoldCoinLover
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12 Jun 2011, 1:52 pm

Has anyone read this book? How to win friends and influence people[u] by Dale Carnegie.

It is the best book I ever read and I learned alot from it. It is so thought provoking.

Some key points:
Show genuine interest in other people.
Try and understand the situation from the other persons perspective.
You can't win an argument.
Be a good listener.

If we could just understand something from the other persons perspective, and be more open minded, we could learn alot about life and its gifts. For example to be open minded. To not judge one via a social predjuice that our society has. Sometimes, for certain people, if you're driving and someone cuts you off, they may yell "Jerk, what's wrong with you!?". This is exactly not seeing it from the other persons perspective. Perhaps the other person didn't do it intentionally. Perhaps it's not about you. Perhaps, just perhaps, that person is gong through a crisis. We do not know other peoples lifes. It is a grave error to try and predict through assumuption other peoples motives.



GoldCoinLover
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12 Jun 2011, 2:20 pm

GoldCoinLover wrote:
Has anyone read this book? How to win friends and influence people[u] by Dale Carnegie.

It is the best book I ever read and I learned alot from it. It is so thought provoking.

Some key points:
Show genuine interest in other people.
Try and understand the situation from the other persons perspective.
You can't win an argument.
Be a good listener.

If we could just understand something from the other persons perspective, and be more open minded, we could learn alot about life and its gifts. For example to be open minded. To not judge one via a social predjuice that our society has. Sometimes, for certain people, if you're driving and someone cuts you off, they may yell "Jerk, what's wrong with you!?". This is exactly not seeing it from the other persons perspective. Perhaps the other person didn't do it intentionally. Perhaps it's not about you. Perhaps, just perhaps, that person is gong through a crisis. We do not know other peoples lifes. It is a grave error to try and predict through assumuption other peoples motives.


This leads to one of my favorite quotes of all time:
Few people are capable of expressing with equanimity opinions which differ from the prejudices of their social environment. Most people are even incapable of forming such opinions.
Albert Einstein



sluice
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13 Jun 2011, 6:02 pm

I've heard about it. It's a classic, but haven't gotten around to reading it myself. Sounds like sound advice especially for the autism community.
And Albert is a cool dude to quote. You ever wonder if a person sits around thinking up fancy quotes to say because they want other people to quote them?
Quotes don't suggest spontaneity.



Orr
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14 Jun 2011, 5:34 am

I have not read "How to Win Friends..." but, like sluice, it is on an ever growing list of books I intend to. Analysing behaviour in context is very important. A book I have read regarding that is "Reading People: How to Understand People and Predict Their Behaviour Anytime, Anyplace" by
Jo-Ellan Dimitrius.

There is a thread regarding racism towards Arabs in a bar on the forum. The bartender is described as a racist and while I would not defend his behaviour, without prior knowledge of his life experiences and situation labeling thus may be 'jumping the gun'. He might be socially dysfunctional and mimicking others' behaviour which he belived to be socially acceptable. I certainly do not think the barmans behaviour was 'ok'.

Yesterday I read "Games People Play" by Eric Berne, which I find insightful and disturbing in its analysis. The beginning of the book addresses how much time people should spend on the non-communative nothingness of regular NT style greeting rituals, then addresses underlying styles of behaviour in depth.

Today I am reading "I'm ok, you're ok" by Thomas Harris, a friend of Berne, which is supposed to be largely similar.

I appreciate the tip for reading material and will stop procrastinating and ask the library to ready a copy of "How to win friends..." for me.

Cheers.