I hate change...but people just think im rude

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MyDogSasha
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18 Jun 2011, 1:36 pm

I hate change..any kind of change. Like if i have to go somewhere new..or sleep somewhere different...or anything.

When i go to my friends house to sleepover i cant fall alseep...and i get really nerves there at night time...im up the whole time worryed. but the rest of the time i like it there...its just hard to get used to sleeping in a different place.

I hate when we go somewhere different. most of the time im just here in my house...but when my family goes to my grandmas house or to cousins i always really hated it. I feel really nerves when i go....and everyone says im being rude or something but im not i just hate change. my mom gets really mad at me...she says i hate being with my family...but i just hate the change..cause we dont see them that much and its a big change from staying in my house...

oh yeah and i know about the changes but it still takes a long time to get used to.



mb1984
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18 Jun 2011, 4:32 pm

I don't like change in my routine either. I have things that are comfortable to me, and it upsets me if they are changed. I don't mind a short stop-in at a different home or place, but I don't like when we have to make a day of it for many reasons...
I have difficulty eating "Strange" food, even if it is something I am familiar with. I can taste the inside of people's cupboards, or closets the food is stored in. I'm also so particular about my food that I only like myself, my mom, dad, or my husband preparing it because everything else tastes too weird for me. And even then I have such requests that only they will make me what I want, lol. That's why I would rather just be at my house...I don't understand why people get upset at ME being upset that I'm so uncomfortable and out of my element. It's not like I WANT to feel that way.
I can't use the toilet anywhere other than my house. I don't know what more to say about that, but of course I don't want to go out when I'm going to hold my pee all day.
I like to wear my "comfy clothes". I DESPISE wearing a bra, and panties. I like my loose boxers or sweatpants and my big t-shirts and hoody. I can't wear that in public, or around others (for obvious reasons) and I get really worked up when I have to dress up or wear clothes that I find uncomfortable.
As for sleeping elsewhere...that is something I have surprisingly never had trouble with. I think it is because I would rather be asleep somewhere different than awake. I would always go to bed super early, and sleep right in so I could have as little time away from home as possible. As long as my eyes are closed, I'm somewhere else anyway.
You could always try excusing yourself and just find a quiet place to sit where you feel calm. Bring a book or a hobby...that's what I personally use when I can't escape from being around people. I crochet, and it is a socially acceptable way for me to stim and go to my own world without people noticing.


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Ilka
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19 Jun 2011, 10:47 am

Everybody hates change to some extent. But change is part of life and the only constant. You can start trying to think on what could you do to avoid hating sleeping outside that much. For my husband, he needs the same conditions he has at home: enough space to sleep, the pillow he is used to, good climate. I try to adjust the environment to his needs so he does not feel that uncomfortable. That helps. You should also try to speak to your mom about how you feel and why you behave the way you do. She might end up helping. :)  

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Posted: Sun Jun 19, 2011 8:28 am    Post subject:
yeah. it sucks if you live in ghetto where you have to call the police every-time one of these assholes wants to play his music real loud. or the banging around from neighbors in their houses.

i'm considering getting some custom in ear monitors. if you got the money look at jhaudio and if you're in europe spiral ear.

i find headphones and non custom in ear monitors uncomfortable.

if regular ear plugs are comfortable to you you may want to look into etymotic.


me, i mostly just think of all the wonderful things i could have done had a merely had a quiet place to sleep and study all these years. all that time wasted just because of noisy assholes.

anyone else envy the deaf?
and tell her how you feel and why you behave the way you do. She might even try to hel



League_Girl
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19 Jun 2011, 5:53 pm

Don't go to any sleepovers, problem solved. But with family, that is nearly impossible to avoid unless you are old enough to stay home by yourself. Would they let you stay home alone while they are all away?

Is it possible you can being stuff you enjoy like books or video games or music so that way you are doing what you always do at home? That solves my problem.


@Ilka yes everyone hates change to some extent but they don't go through it the way aspies do. They don't go into meltdowns or act the same way an aspie would act during the change. They don't even get cranky or bitchy either and have anxiety and be all anxious they display rude behavior. If an NT does act that way, they maybe have that trait too or something else is causing that characteristic. Oh yeah schizophrenia, they also have a hard time with change too and so do people with mental retardation. I can imagine anyone with social anxiety or extreme shyness suffering from that change when it comes to sleepovers and staying at other family homes.



Graelwyn
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19 Jun 2011, 8:54 pm

I have terrible trouble sleeping anywhere else, unless I take pills to help me. It is very frustrating as sometimes I go stay with my mother, and without fail, I suffer anxiety about getting to sleep, knowing I will struggle with the change in environment, plus I need darkness to sleep, and her curtains let in loads of light so I end up having to wear an uncomfortable blindfold thing.

A lot of changes affect me. Once a certain routine has set in, I tend to expect things to stay the same and when they don't, it sends me into a panic, mixed with anger, frustration and confusion. This happened recently when someone with whom I had been sharing dinner with for months, changed the pattern on me one evening and got their own food, leaving me not knowing whether to just get something for myself, or get something for us both as usual, and worrying that it would always be this way now id got used to sharing meals. I had a major attack of rage later on as I couldn't stop brooding on it and analysing it.



Malisha
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19 Jun 2011, 10:11 pm

I'm always a mess trying to sleep somewhere other than my house. I need my things with me. I need my pillows and blankets that smell like me, and my robe, and my teacup, and my tea, and my pajamas, and my head-blanket, and my earplugs, and my chapstick and a million other things that will chew on my brain if I don't have them with me.
It was way worse when I was a young'un. I'd have tantrums that more or less went like, "I don't wanna gooooooo!" "why?" "I DON'T KNOWWWWW!" So many things bothered me that I had no way to explain. I think one thing my mom never really understood was that as upsetting as it was for HER that I couldn't explain, it was even worse for me.
I have a really strong need to be in my home environment where I feel like I have control over it. And I'm a full time student, and I have a job, but if something happens where I feel like I don't have control over my home environment(like if the water heater breaks or something), I lose it. I'm a mess. I need a place to be where ONLY things i expect to happen, happen. Then I can go out for brief forays into the world, where chaos reigns, as long as my home is there, unchanging and reliable.

Anyhow, I really identify with you because my family is still resentful that I don't like to go out and do things with them. And I'm almost 30. On the other hand, they've had more time to get used to me. I'm so thankful my fiancee "gets" it, and is generally okay with my anxiety with change.



anomie
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21 Jun 2011, 11:43 am

[quote="mb1984"
I like to wear my "comfy clothes". I DESPISE wearing a bra, and panties. I like my loose boxers or sweatpants and my big t-shirts and hoody. I can't wear that in public, or around others (for obvious reasons) [/quote]

What obvious reasons are those? I don't know of any. Yes of course "society" expects us to wear god knows what, high heels and pink bunny tails, but there's no law against dressing comfortably whatever your gender.



mb1984
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21 Jun 2011, 9:12 pm

anomie wrote:
[quote="mb1984"
I like to wear my "comfy clothes". I DESPISE wearing a bra, and panties. I like my loose boxers or sweatpants and my big t-shirts and hoody. I can't wear that in public, or around others (for obvious reasons)


What obvious reasons are those? I don't know of any. Yes of course "society" expects us to wear god knows what, high heels and pink bunny tails, but there's no law against dressing comfortably whatever your gender.[/quote]

Oh I just meant that it's probably not good for me to be going out without wearing any bra or panties. The rest is fine. :wink:


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Judge of your natural character by what you do in your dreams.
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